After Yan Zhuomei stated her bottom line, the atmosphere immediately turned icy. Her demands once again placed me at a crossroads of fate—I couldn’t abandon everything in China to live in America!
Fortunately, Mi Cai had resistance toward Yan Zhuomei. Deep down, she didn’t want to go to America. Otherwise, I really wouldn’t have been able to control myself and make a choice, because no matter which I chose, it would be an irreversible mistake.
In the silence, Yan Zhuomei spoke again to Mi Cai and me: “I know this isn’t something you can decide immediately, so I can give you some time. Go back to Xuzhou and think it over carefully… Also, I can tell you that although I’ve been away from China for a long time, making it so you can’t get your marriage certificate is still a small matter I can easily accomplish. You must believe me on this point!”
Mi Cai frowned and said to her, “I hate threats!”
“Xiaocai, you’re wrong. This isn’t a threat, it’s a well-intentioned reminder… You must understand, living in America, your child—my grandson—will start his life from the best starting point possible…” She paused and then turned to me, saying, “Zhaoyang, if you truly love Xiaocai, you will accept my proposal… Xiaocai is my daughter, and more importantly, an elite among elites. If it weren’t for her being overly emotional, she wouldn’t have suffered such a devastating defeat in this battle with Zhuo Mei… Therefore, the root of her failure lies with you. You cannot delay her again, nor can you trap her in Xuzhou and turn her into an aimless housewife. Such a life would be a desecration to her… because her family has already bestowed upon her a special mission!”
“I…” I wanted to argue back, but found myself speechless, and eventually all my thoughts and feelings ended with just the word “I.”
At this moment, Yan Zhuomei put down her chopsticks. She took out a tissue and wiped her mouth, then nodded and said, “The food is quite good, but I don’t like eating too much at night. Let’s end it here tonight… I’m a woman of my word; you’re free to return to Xuzhou and think carefully about the demands I’ve made. My schedule is too tight; I must return to America tomorrow. I hope you can give me a reply soon. I’ll wait for your call in America!”
After saying this, Yan Zhuomei grabbed her handbag and left decisively and cleanly. This concise, no-nonsense manner became a heavy burden on me, making it hard for me to calmly face everything I was encountering in life… I could only passively wait for Mi Cai to express her stance and tell me: what she wanted was her current life, not to go to America to fulfill the mission bestowed by her family!
…
After washing the dishes, Mi Cai and I went to the bathroom to brush our teeth and wash up, then lay together on the bed, staring at the old chandelier on the ceiling. The light spreading in all directions seemed to reflect our differing thoughts—I was anxious, while she looked lost…
The night grew darker in our silence, but time failed to take away the terrible weather, and the sound of rain from outside remained clearly audible. I kept most of my attention focused on listening to the rain, trying not to think about the things that made me feel anxious… Finally, Mi Cai turned on her side and looked at me, placing her arm across my chest and softly asking, “Zhaoyang, if I choose to go to America, will you come with me?”
My heart immediately clenched with pain, and a sense of suffocation squeezed my brain until it felt like I had lost the ability to think. I just stared blankly at Mi Cai… I didn’t know whether her question stemmed from a change of heart.
Mi Cai just looked at me without pressing further. After a while, I finally gained some understanding and said to her, “This is just too painful for me… I can’t make a choice!”
“Do you know why I asked this?”
“I might have an idea, but I’m not sure!”
“You think I’m wavering, right?”
I painfully swallowed, hesitating to speak. I was afraid of hearing the choice that would plunge me into endless pain… I couldn’t let go of my feelings for Mi Cai, nor could I abandon Old Ban and Mom, leaving them without support in their twilight years!
Mi Cai looked somewhat disappointed but smiled slightly and said, “You fool, since I know this choice will cause you so much pain, how could I possibly insist you make it? I asked because I saw your lack of confidence in our relationship in your anxiety, and that made me a little angry… We’ve come this far, don’t we even have this much understanding between us?”
“Of course we have understanding… But Yan Zhuomei’s words, filled with intimidation and temptation, have really affected me… I feel a deep sense of guilt. It was me who led you down a path that seems to have no return!”
“You’re right, it is a path with no return. How could I then turn back and make another choice?… If you really feel guilty, then you must love me even more in the future. Together, we’ll build a good life ahead, so no one will have to think about whether the choices made in the past were right or wrong… Right?”
Mi Cai’s words felt like a stream of spring water flowing through my heart. I nodded heavily and replied, “You’re right… I was just thinking too much!”
“You think too much because you always see the gap between us as too significant, so when someone says something, your first reaction is to waver… But does this gap you’re thinking about really exist?”
“We live in a world dominated by material things, so of course this gap exists… Have you forgotten? When we first met, I was just an angry young man who couldn’t figure out life, living a life without a fixed place, while you were the leader of a corporation… This gap is too obvious, already deeply rooted in my mind!”
“Then let me give you an example to show you this gap really isn’t that important.”
I nodded, really hoping she could help me resolve this long-standing emotional knot. I still remembered how this knot had been an inescapable nightmare during my time with Jian Wei. Because of it, I had once fallen into depression and decadence!
Mi Cai thought for a moment and said, “Once, the gap between you and Jian Wei was also very obvious… But what about years later? Everything she had has already turned into bubbles… Zhaoyang, you must understand, this is a world of rise and fall. The so-called gap may exist on the surface, but absolutely cannot exist in our hearts! Because no one knows what will happen tomorrow! And in this fragile world where even life is fragile, who dares to firmly say they won’t lose everything they possess?… So just keep a normal heart!”
I thought over Mi Cai’s words several times and found them very reasonable, yet I couldn’t help but sigh… because I had never imagined that Jian Wei would live such a difficult life, yet it had really happened!
I sighed lightly and finally replied, “We are all just pieces in the game of fate. From this perspective, there really is no one who is humble or noble… After all, no one can escape the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs of life and death in fate!”
“Yes… That’s exactly what I mean. Only those who are vain to the point of foolishness would turn this so-called gap into a mental shackle!”
I held her tightly, smiled, and said, “It seems like you’ve successfully brainwashed me!”
“Hmph… Isn’t that what you’re best at doing?”
“But you’ve learned it very well, and it’s really worked on me…”
“This is what martial arts call ‘Dodge and Redirect’ (Dou Zhuan Xing Yi).”
Finally, we were able to joke with each other again, but even so, I still felt some worry. I didn’t know whether my stubbornness and Mi Cai’s decision would completely provoke Yan Zhuomei, or what countermeasures she might take against us. From today’s interaction, I had deeply realized that she was absolutely a woman who would follow through on her words!
I thought again of Old Ban and Mom, my heart once again filled with anxiety. I didn’t know how I would explain everything that had happened in Suzhou these past few days to them when I returned to Xuzhou tomorrow!
I smiled bitterly in resignation, realizing that worries had always followed me like a shadow… My relationship with Mi Cai was destined to be full of twists and turns. I prayed that this current trial would be the last one in our love story, and that we must give this relationship a perfect ending in the spring of next year!
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