There was no natural light coming from outside the window anymore. I turned on all the lights inside the house, and as I felt that the time was about to arrive, I went with Mi Cai to the kitchen to prepare dinner for Yan Zhuomei’s visit tonight. To be honest, this was not going to be a sumptuous dinner, just a few simple home-cooked dishes—though they were my specialties, I was unsure whether they would suit Yan Zhuomei’s taste. After all, she had lived in the United States for many years, and habits such as taste preferences often change.
After spending about an hour, Mi Cai and I finally finished preparing the dinner. We both had a strong sense that Yan Zhuomei would arrive at this house within half an hour. What would happen afterward, however, remained uncertain and unsettling to guess. Intuitively, she wouldn’t let us return to Xuzhou easily.
When we finally brought all the steaming dishes to the table, the doorbell finally rang. Mi Cai was arranging the bowls and chopsticks, so she signaled me to go open the door.
I took off my apron and walked to the entrance, opening the door. Yan Zhuomei appeared in my sight. She had already changed out of her formal business attire, but this casual outfit did not add any approachability to her presence. The aura of inaccessibility around her seemed deeply rooted in her very being.
I greeted her with “Auntie” and made space for her to enter. After she changed her shoes, she stood at the most open spot near the doorway, gazing complexly at every object in the house. She seemed to recall some events that had occurred here, her eyebrows slightly lowered. She finally walked into the house after a long pause. From her series of actions, I realized that since she had moved to the United States, she had never returned to this old house. If it weren’t for persuading Mi Cai to go to America with her, this place might have remained a place she never wanted to revisit. Because she had wronged her husband and daughter who had lived together with her in this house, this sense of guilt must have become a burden on her shoulders. Now, returning to this familiar place, this burden inevitably became an emotional weight. This was probably also the main reason why Mi Cai had asked her to meet us in this old house.
Outside the window, the city was already lit up with thousands of lights. Through the balcony, we could see several households across the way, with their elderly and children gathered around the dining table, enjoying the moment of family reunion. The continuous sound of firecrackers added to the festive atmosphere of the approaching New Year. Suddenly, I felt a strong longing for Xuzhou. It had been two years since I last had reunion dinner with my father and mother on New Year’s Eve.
Mi Cai finished arranging the bowls and chopsticks and asked me, “Zhaoyang, what’s the occasion today? Why are so many families setting off firecrackers?”
I replied, “It’s Xiaonian, and the Spring Festival is about a week away.”
“Oh, do we have any firecrackers at home?”
I shook my head and said, “We never prepared any firecrackers. Usually, only the older generation still remembers to set off firecrackers on Xiaonian.”
“Let’s go buy some. This is our home too, and we should have a festive atmosphere. Besides, we probably won’t have another chance to set off firecrackers here once we leave. If this house had a soul, it would surely wish for the sound of firecrackers to be for its sake. Unfortunately, it has never had that honor all these years…”
Mi Cai’s melancholy made me feel unexpectedly sad. I also felt that leaving without setting off firecrackers in Suzhou wouldn’t feel right. I immediately put on my jacket, grabbed my car keys, and walked out. Mi Cai called after me, “Be careful on the road… wait for you to come back for dinner!”
I gazed at her for a long time before finally nodding. At that moment, I truly felt the sense of home from her and from this house. This feeling made me happy yet wistful, because there was still Yan Zhuomei in the house—a woman who refused to support my relationship with Mi Cai. I feared that this happiness might only be temporary, unable to last.
I drove my car toward the edge of the city. Intuitively, I knew that only here could I possibly find the increasingly unpopular fireworks. Indeed, in this suburban area, I spotted a store selling fireworks. I bought both firecrackers and fireworks—though the fireworks were the kind that scatter on the ground, because there were many concerns about launching fireworks into the sky in the city, and this kind was relatively safer. To me, whether the fireworks exploded in the sky or on the ground was not the most important thing—I just wanted to see her smiling face illuminated by the fireworks!
On the way back, without needing to search for the way, I drove very fast, taking only half the time it had taken me to come here, and soon returned to our residential complex, where Mi Cai was already waiting downstairs with an umbrella.
I parked the car, took out the firecrackers and fireworks, and looked up at the sky. The raindrops were not heavy, and the continuous sound of firecrackers from the distance reminded us that the rain, which was about to stop, could not dampen the festive atmosphere of Xiaonian! The firecrackers could definitely be set off.
I chose an open space, lined up the firecrackers in a row, took out a cigarette from my pocket, put it in my mouth, lit it, and asked Mi Cai, “Do you dare to light them?”
“I’ve never done it before, but I really want to try!”
I handed the burning cigarette to her and said, “Go ahead. As soon as you see the firecracker’s fuse start to spark, run quickly. You’ll have about three to five seconds. I believe you can do it!”
Mi Cai took the burning cigarette from my hand and crouched down cautiously next to the firecrackers. She looked a bit nervous because people naturally fear explosive things, especially since she had never tried it before. Her anxiety over the unknown caused her to fail twice in igniting the fuse, so she concentrated even harder.
My mischievousness kicked in again. Suddenly, I shouted “Bang!” from behind her. She screamed in fright, dropped the cigarette, and ran like a startled rabbit, rushing straight into my arms. After realizing it was just me scaring her, she became extremely angry and pushed me hard. Because the ground was slippery, I fell on my butt, feeling terrible at that moment as my pants were soaked by the rainwater!
Mi Cai glared at me angrily, “Serves you right… If you don’t act silly for a day, you feel like you’re not living your own life!”
I patted my butt and stood up, replying, “Isn’t that exactly what you like about me? If I were always serious with you, life would be unbearable. Besides, you immediately got back at me, so you must be secretly laughing inside, right?”
“I’m not as silly as you are! Let’s stop arguing. Come quickly and light the firecrackers with me!”
I was puzzled, “How exactly do we light them together? First time I’ve heard that setting off firecrackers requires teamwork!”
“You hold my hand, and we’ll light them together.”
“That’s going overboard! Is it really necessary?”
Mi Cai looked displeased and asked, “Who knows if you’ll scare me again! Just tell me if you’re coming or not?”
I sighed, “Okay, okay, okay! Since my dear wife has ordered me, how can I refuse?” I lit another cigarette, handed it to Mi Cai, stood behind her, squatted down on the ground, and reached out toward that stubborn firecracker with her…
Finally, the fuse emitted a dazzling glow. I calmly prepared to stand up and retreat, but Mi Cai seemed to have developed a psychological shadow. Without caring whether I was nearby, she sprang up like a spring and stepped on my foot, causing both of us to stumble and fall to the ground…
Danger suddenly arrived. I hugged her tightly, buried her face in my chest, covered her ears with my hands, and bent my back, firmly shielding her from the danger…
The deafening explosion, accompanied by a surging temperature, rang in my ears. My brain buzzed from the shock, but I held Mi Cai even tighter. I was afraid that flying debris might hurt her eyes, so I kept them tightly closed until everything around me became calm again. Then, I carefully opened my eyes and the first thing I did was to check whether Mi Cai had been injured…
I asked anxiously, “Are you okay?”
Mi Cai shook her head but hugged me tighter out of concern… I exhaled heavily, feeling a stone fall from my heart, and smiled, saying, “Something that even a five-year-old can easily handle, we made it so thrilling!”
“It’s all your fault for being so slow… That’s why I stepped on your foot!”
“Calm down, my disciple… I told you there were five seconds to run away. Why did you spring up like a spring? With the speed you just showed, you could easily set a Guinness World Record!”
“How could I possibly set a record?”
“The world’s best at making a big deal out of nothing! Let me tell you, normally after I light the firecracker, I usually take a puff of my cigarette before running back. If there’s someone around, I even chat a bit. Don’t doubt it, I’m that calm and composed!”
Mi Cai looked at me, both annoyed and amused… I pulled her up from the damp ground, but as I looked up unintentionally, I saw Yan Zhuomei leaning over the balcony, watching us. She seemed to have witnessed the thrilling moment between Mi Cai and me just now…
Mi Cai didn’t notice Yan Zhuomei and urged me to set off the remaining firecrackers. So I lit the third cigarette within this short ten-minute span… I felt somewhat helpless and amused, because of our clumsiness, even the cigarette on this rainy night seemed so ineffective—it had already burned through two cigarettes just to ignite one firecracker!
The firecrackers exploded in the sky, their loud sounds carrying the scent of the New Year and reunion… At that moment, the fireworks scattering on the ground illuminated the faces of Mi Cai and me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and in the bright light, I saw the intertwining of past and future times. They were writing pain, but also writing happiness… Thus, the world became increasingly peaceful, as if the boundary between pain and happiness had vanished. Only the fireworks were flashing, blending, and breaking free from the shackles of darkness!
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