My confusion seemed beyond Mi Cai’s expectation, so much so that she remained silent for a long time before countering, “When exactly did you start having these doubts? And it seems they have really troubled you.”
“I started having these thoughts back in Suzhou, but I didn’t want to exaggerate these feelings. However, after returning to Xuzhou, I found that our actual life has deviated from what we had envisioned, and this deviation really bothers me… There are even people who have speculated that your return to Xuzhou was merely a strategic retreat, that in reality, you still have feelings for Zhuo Mei… Of course, I don’t believe it, but whenever I think about the obstacles we might face in the future, I still worry that your mind might be clouded, that you might not be able to walk steadfastly with me… Then, this current life becomes your torment, which is not the outcome I wish to see!”
Perhaps I had expressed too much, Mi Cai remained even longer in silence than before, before finally saying, “I really wish that I had nothing at all when I met you… I know my past gives you no sense of security, but shouldn’t people look forward to the future?… What importance does anything from the past have?… I don’t want to be a scheming woman in front of you, because I am just as afraid of losing our current life, I genuinely hope to build our life together with you… However, there is a prerequisite, you must be a faithful man… Do you know that while you are afraid, I am even more afraid that you will grow tired of me in the future and think fondly of another woman.”
Her words moved me deeply and made me feel heavy. It turned out that though she appeared calm, her inner burden was no less than mine. Although we seemed to have given everything to each other, such soul-based communication was still so rare… I held her tightly and whispered in her ear, “I once thought of a sentence in my heart, now I want to say it to you…”
“What sentence?”
It seemed to be a moment of deep affection. Instinctively, I held her hand and whispered, “The beauty of a rainbow comes from enduring the洗礼 of wind and rain; the brilliance of the morning sun emerges after breaking through the shackles of darkness. Our current difficulties are merely the wind and rain blocking our path, but you are the rainbow, and I am the morning sun. One day, I will witness your beauty, and you will bask in my radiance! We are destined to be together…”
Nightfall was both a backdrop and a catalyst, so Mi Cai was moved by my words, sobbing softly, “Is it really destiny?”
“Destiny… You know, whenever I think of you becoming someone else’s wife and having children for someone else, I feel like I can’t find the oxygen to survive, it’s too suffocating! I’ve already lost my way in your world… So, you must give me a path to live.”
“Don’t talk like this, how could I bear to see you like this… Zhaoyang, you must remember what you told me today, you are the morning sun and I am the rainbow, you will see my beauty and I will bask in your radiance, we are destined to be together!”
“I will never forget…!”
Mi Cai responded with sobs, this intense emotional fluctuation showed me her determination to cut her ties and start anew since coming to Xuzhou, and it was precisely this determination that allowed her to remain so composed. In comparison, I should feel ashamed because I, who always pursued purity and simplicity, was not as pure as she was!
…
The next morning, Dad and Mom seemed to have adjusted their schedule to have breakfast with us. However, since Mi Cai and I had not yet figured out how to settle the 50,000 yuan renovation fee, we felt somewhat uneasy facing them.
Sure enough, halfway through the meal, Mom asked me, “Zhaoyang, when are you going to pay us back the money for the renovation of the new house?… Your dad and I have been planning to travel around the country with this money. When we were young, we were stuck in Xuzhou all the time because your dad never had time. Now that he has finally retired, we should take advantage of our good health to make up for this regret, right?”
“But Dad hasn’t retired yet…”
Mom glared at me and said, “As soon as you speak, I know what kind of bad thoughts you’re having!… You want to dodge the debt, right?”
I was both anxious and wanted to laugh, finally replying helplessly, “Mom, am I the kind of person who dodges debts… Besides, can’t you talk about this matter in private? We can discuss it privately.”
“Discuss privately? If we talk privately, you’ll find more ways to dodge the debt… ” She added finally, “I know my own son, don’t I?”
“I’m not dodging the debt, it’s just that I really don’t have the money now… Can’t you and Dad give me some more time?… Or, you can just set the terms yourselves.”
Mom looked at Dad and said, “Lao Zhao, did you hear that? Our son has the spirit of negotiation… Not only does he have the spirit of negotiation, but he’s also bold…!”
Dad nodded and said, “He’s indeed bold… He opened the cafe behind our backs.”
I was both surprised and puzzled, and hurriedly asked, “How did you find out about me opening the cafe… Did you install a bug on me? You guys really have a scientific spirit!! And your audacity is no smaller than mine!”
Mom hit my arm with her chopsticks, frowning and said, “Don’t talk nonsense with us, the house is this big, when you talk with Xiaomi, do you think we can’t hear anything at all?”
Mi Cai and I became instantly embarrassed. Indeed, living under the same roof with the older generation has many inconveniences, and we really need our private space. Finally, I could see in Mi Cai’s eyes her determination to move into the new house. Thinking further, maybe the sounds of our intimate moments at night aren’t that well contained either? I would be fine, but how embarrassed she must feel!
Finally, I said to my mom, “Then you tell me, what exactly do you want? Anyway, I can’t repay this money right now…”
Mom continued to act as the spokesperson and said, “This time, I agree with your dad’s opinion. Either you find a stable job, or you find a proper business to do… Unless Xiaomi here, in front of us, says that she wholeheartedly supports your opening of the cafe, otherwise there is no room for negotiation!”
Only then did I fully understand their intention. They wanted a commitment from Mi Cai. Deep down, they were also worried that my relationship with Mi Cai wasn’t as solid as it seemed. And this was indeed because our on-and-off relationship had not given them a sense of security… They seemed to be pressuring Mi Cai and me, but the underlying bitterness made me feel heavy. I really owed a lot to my parents who raised me… Perhaps, besides Mi Cai’s commitment, what they really wanted to see was the day of my wedding with Mi Cai!
I looked at Mi Cai, watching how she would resolve this dilemma, but I didn’t want her to display her wisdom here, because answering this question required sincerity, not smooth intelligence.
Mi Cai nodded firmly and said, “Uncle, Auntie, I want to express my position to you. I will definitely support all of Zhaoyang’s decisions and supervise him to do well in what he is doing now, and I will also work hard myself… Also, do you know, apart from the cafe, have you heard me and Zhaoyang talking about taking the civil service exam?… I am planning to take the civil service exam for a stable job, so I hope you can give Zhaoyang some space. I think it’s enough for one of us to be stable between the two of us!”
Mi Cai’s answer made me almost laugh, as she not only reassured my mom and dad but also teased them about eavesdropping on our conversation. Sure enough, my mom’s face turned awkward as she said to Mi Cai, “You naughty girl… We just happened to overhear your conversation, we didn’t do it on purpose!… However, since you can express yourself like this, your uncle and I will feel at ease, but you still have to repay the 50,000 yuan because we want to give you some pressure to see if you can really earn money to support your life…”
Mi Cai blushed after being caught red-handed by my mom, but I liked this kind of family atmosphere and laughed as I asked, “So you’re giving us an exam…?”
This time it was Dad who answered me, saying, “Your mom and I can understand your difficulties and are even more worried about you. We’re not trying to make things hard for you on purpose. We just want to see your attitude after returning to Xuzhou and give you a bit of pressure.”
I replied sincerely, “I can understand your intentions too.”
Dad nodded and took out a bank card from his wallet, which seemed to have been prepared in advance, and handed it to Mi Cai, saying, “Actually, we had prepared more than 200,000 yuan earlier for Zhaoyang to buy a marital home, but he didn’t let us worry about buying a house. This card has the remaining 180,000 yuan after the renovation, you two take it to buy some appliances… We have done our part!”
This time Mi Cai appeared very hesitant, shaking her head and saying, “Uncle, Auntie, thank you for your kindness, but Zhaoyang and I really cannot accept this money, we feel very guilty, it was our past mistakes that caused you so much sorrow! And yet you don’t hold it against us…”
Mom gently patted Mi Cai’s hand and smiled, “Silly girl, we are family, don’t say things like ‘not holding grudges’ ever again. We are the elders, and it’s our responsibility to guide you two towards a better life. We won’t dwell on the past, as long as you and Zhaoyang get married and have children soon, that will be the greatest comfort to us!”
Mi Cai’s eyes were moist, and at this moment, she must have felt the warmth from this family, while Dad had already placed the bank card in my hand, indicating me to take it…
This time, I did not refuse, because that house indeed needed some appliances, and Mi Cai also needed a complete private world for the two of us. However, I would still repay this money to Dad later, because treating this money as a debt would give me more pressure and motivation to manage that cafe well.
I felt fortunate that this time my family gave me enough space, not giving me too much pressure or obstruction regarding opening the cafe, and this is the sense of security that family brings, it is a place that will never abandon me!
…
In the morning, I was busy at the cafe all the time, and just before noon, I unexpectedly received a call from my former boss, Chen Jingming. Before he even spoke, I felt a sense of unease, so much so that he was the first to greet me, “Zhaoyang, everything going well recently?”
“Everything is fine… Do you have anything to tell me by calling me?”
Chen Jingming did not immediately explain, instead he asked, “Has Mi Cai changed her phone number after coming to Xuzhou?… I’ve tried calling several times but it’s always off!”
“She switched to a local Xuzhou phone card for convenience… ” I said and then warily asked, “But why are you calling her for?”
Chen Jingming hesitated for a moment before replying, “Zhaoyang, do you know that this year Mi Cai’s mother returned to China once, and at that time Mi Cai had instructed me to pick her up at the airport, so I know a bit about her mother… However, Mi Cai seems to have intentionally avoided it, and her mother is now unable to contact her, so she asked me to help… Please tell Mi Cai that her mother will return to China before the New Year, specifically to find her, so please both of you prepare mentally for the meeting!”
I was stunned… What was destined to come would eventually come. Not long from now, we would have to face the biggest obstacle since returning to Xuzhou!
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