I returned to my residence late at night, reheated the uneaten sweet dumplings that Yan Yan had left, and ate them as a midnight snack. I thought my night was about to end, but as expected, I couldn’t fall asleep again…
At this moment, the more I uncover about the truth of the past, the further away I become from Jian Wei. This is what I desire, yet I feel sad about it. My insomnia originates from this conflicting emotion. However, some memories are part of life, and life cannot simply end with a “whoosh.” Thus, we fill the path ahead with thorns through memories during this long life, and this is the nature of human beings—the nature of being sentimental about the past…
On this night, I don’t know in what state I finally fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already nearly noon. I quickly called Mi Cai, who told me that she was already on the long-distance bus from the county town to the provincial capital, and in two hours, she would board the flight to Shanghai.
After getting up, I once again had nothing to do, so I cleaned the house and then unpacked the already packed luggage, stuffing it with some more items that could be brought or not, such as a stainless steel teacup and a set of kitchen knives.
When the noon sunlight was just right, I sat on the sofa resting, waiting for my bowl of instant noodles to steep…
In between, I received a call from my former boss, Chen Jingming. He invited me to meet him at a teahouse near Zhuo Mei. Actually, before I left, I had also thought of arranging a meeting with him, but the sense of guilt I always carried prevented me from taking this thought into action.
…
After finishing my noodles, I took a taxi to the teahouse where I had agreed to meet Chen Jingming. To my surprise, he had arrived first but hadn’t entered the teahouse. Instead, he was waiting beside his car. Under the glaring sunlight, I had to squint to see that he was wearing casual clothes today, something I couldn’t recall him ever wearing before—he was always in business suits or blazers… He was changing, and I didn’t overlook this change…
I approached him with an apologetic expression. Before I could speak, he patted my shoulder, indicating that we should go inside and talk while drinking tea.
Inside the teahouse’s private room, Chen Jingming ordered a pot of high-quality West Lake Longjing tea. His consumption level remained high. Perhaps he already had other prospects? I was silently lost in wild speculation… and could only indulge in such speculation. At this moment, I found it hard to speak to him as fluently as I used to, weighed down by my sense of guilt.
Chen Jingming seemed to see through my current mood. He smiled and asked, “Zhaoyang, after experiencing all this, what are your thoughts now? Don’t just curse Fang Yuan as a bastard to humor me. I want to hear your real thoughts.”
I felt somewhat embarrassed and awkwardly picked up the teacup in front of me for a sip, then asked in return, “Are my thoughts really that important?”
Chen Jingming nodded and said, “To some extent, your thoughts represent Mi Cai’s thoughts.”
After a moment of silence, I replied, “Actually, we both don’t really have much in mind… Tomorrow, she will return to Xuzhou with me. I will run a small business, and she will find a stable job. Then we will get married and manage our family life… Mr. Chen, do you think what we are doing is right?”
Chen Jingming didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he asked me, “Are you sure Mi Cai has truly let go of Zhuo Mei? If she hasn’t, but she endures for the life you envision, won’t that become a hidden problem between you two? Once there are conflicts in life, these issues will definitely resurface!”
“I…” I only managed to utter this single word before I was at a loss for words.
Chen Jingming continued, “Zhaoyang… Imagining is one thing, and life is another. There is a boundary between the two. The premise of Mi Cai enduring is that you remain faithful and committed… However, life is full of unexpected events. Tell me, who can guarantee that they will never deviate from this ideal? Besides, Mi Cai is no ordinary woman!”
“What kind of woman is she?”
Chen Jingming picked up his teacup again and took a sip before replying, “To put it conservatively, as long as she is willing, the story of Zhuo Mei is far from over… Zhaoyang, I’ve always wanted to remind you not to confuse life and ideals, and even less so to expect others to live constantly within your ideals. Let’s take Fang Yuan as an example. In your and my ideal, he should be an ambitious young man with good character, but he turned out to be a bastard who will eventually reveal his true colors sooner or later. What about Mi Cai? Zhuo Mei is her root. You hope she will give it up, but over time, there will inevitably be things that stir her emotions. At that time, she will be caught in a dilemma. Can you two still live a happy life?”
His words touched me, and I fell silent again…
Chen Jingming tapped the table with his fingers, waiting for me to respond… But I didn’t speak again!
“Let’s talk about you, Zhaoyang… Do you know how numb you are? How could you give up a great company like Lukoo? You never think about how lucky you are. The Lukoo you obtained so easily is equivalent to the Zhuo Mei that Fang Yuan gained through betraying his integrity. How could you not cherish it?”
Finally, I spoke up to defend myself, “It was too easy for me to get it, so I wanted to give it up… I just wanted a more down-to-earth life.”
Chen Jingming smiled and said, “Is that so? I think Mi Cai giving up Zhuo Mei for you also came too easily… According to your logic, shouldn’t Mi Cai also reconsider carefully?”
“Mr. Chen, there’s no need for wordplay with me. My understanding has always been clear. If Mi Cai feels that Zhuo Mei is a hurdle she cannot overcome, she can completely follow her heart to do what she wants. I won’t stop her… Honestly speaking, I’m already very grateful that she didn’t blame me for misjudging Fang Yuan. And her initiative to propose going back to Xuzhou with me was an unexpected joy. Of course, I understand the sacrifices she has made for me. Based on this, I will certainly do my best to become the man she wants—faithful and committed…”
Chen Jingming interrupted me, “Nothing in the world is certain. Don’t be too sure of yourself when talking to me… I don’t see a promising future for Mi Cai’s life with you in Xuzhou. Just imagine, she was a chairman of a group company, a top graduate from a famous business school. How could you expect her to work a nine-to-five job? Isn’t that ridiculous?”
I gritted my teeth and looked at Chen Jingming but could no longer argue…
“Zhaoyang, I can tell you something related to the uncertainty of life right now… Perhaps before long, Mi Cai’s mother will come back to China to find her. At that time, not only Mi Cai but also you will have to face a choice!”
“Mi Cai’s mother…?”
Chen Jingming nodded and said, “This involves Mi Cai’s personal privacy. She seems unwilling to talk about her mother in front of you, and of course, I have no right to say much about it on her behalf. I’m just giving you a reminder… Mi Cai is no ordinary woman. The life you designed for her is simply incredible!!”
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