My phone call with Yan Yan was still ongoing. After a moment of deliberation, I finally said to her, “Doesn’t she have an assistant? Why don’t you call her assistant? I really can’t make it over there right now.”
After a brief silence, Yan Yan replied, “Alright then, if you’re not available, I won’t force you.” With that, she hung up the phone.
Her immediate disconnection conveyed her disappointment toward me. However, I really didn’t want to entangle myself with Jian Wei’s private life anymore. I believed that even without me, there would be someone else to take her to the hospital.
After paying with my card, I grabbed the purchased bottle of red wine and returned to my car. As I fastened my seatbelt, Mi Cai asked me, “Why did it take you so long?”
I hesitated for a second, then smiled and said, “There were just too many varieties, so I took a little longer to choose.”
Fearing she might ask further questions, I started the car immediately after finishing my sentence and focused on driving. She didn’t press me further, still happily watching the snowflakes falling outside the window. However, my mood had already changed, making it difficult for me to share in her current joy. Perhaps Luo Ben was right—I’m just someone who’s bad at pretending. Whether happy or sad, I always wear my emotions on my face. He used to mock me for being shameless, but for people like us caught up in the mundane world, it’s already hard to talk about dignity. This might include Luo Ben himself, and perhaps it wouldn’t take long before I would witness his own moment of losing face and crying out in agony.
I felt anxious and unconsciously sped up the car, so much so that the snowy scenery along the way hadn’t been fully appreciated before Mi Cai and I arrived back at the old house.
…
In the living room, we sat at the dining table, watching snowflakes drifting onto the balcony and landing on the spider plants, like crystal pendants hanging down. It was beautiful, as if we were inside a painting—this should have been a perfect evening!
We had almost finished one bottle of red wine when I opened the second. Mi Cai shook her head and said, “Zhaoyang, I can’t drink anymore. I’m feeling a bit dizzy.”
“It’s already opened. Just have one more small glass. Come on… It’s a happy occasion, so drinking a bit more won’t hurt.”
My “enthusiasm” made it difficult for Mi Cai to refuse. She nodded slightly, so I poured her half a glass. Soon after, I accompanied her to finish that half glass. She seemed genuinely tipsy. After doing some quick washing up, she went back to the room and lay down to rest. I covered her with the blanket, confirmed she had fallen asleep, and then once again sank into worry and inner conflict. I didn’t know whether someone had already taken Jian Wei to the hospital or if she had already been relieved of her pain.
Unable to hold back anymore, I dialed the assistant’s number for Jian Wei, only to be told that she had already been on a business trip in Hangzhou for three days. I then called Yan Yan again. She said that Jian Wei had already asked her assistant to take her to the hospital. This conflicting information immediately led me to conclude: that woman, Jian Wei, was definitely still enduring her agony alone, stubbornly holding on through the pain…
My resolve instantly shattered at the thought of her suffering. I gritted my teeth, finally put on my coat, gently closed the door behind me, and left that old house which had given me so much psychological pressure. I knew Mi Cai would be very upset about this, but I was even more worried about Jian Wei, and I allowed myself a sliver of hope. I knew that Mi Cai, already drunk, wouldn’t discover my absence that night.
…
After leaving the residential compound, I took a taxi to Jian Wei’s place and ran quickly into the building. On one hand, I was worried about Jian Wei; on the other, I wanted to end this troublesome night as soon as possible so I could return peacefully, sleep, and forget everything that happened tonight. I clearly understood that nothing mattered more than Mi Cai being by my side. At this moment, she was the most important woman in my life.
Standing outside the door, I pressed the doorbell. From inside came Jian Wei’s weak voice asking, “Who is it?”
“It’s me… Zhaoyang. Open the door.”
Jian Wei seemed quite surprised by my arrival. A short while later, she responded, “Wait a second…”
It took a full minute before she finally opened the door. One of her legs was drawn in, sweat covered her forehead, and her face was pale from the pain—everything told me she had had a terrible day.
I closed the door behind me and helped her walk toward the sofa, asking, “Didn’t I tell you two days ago to hire a caretaker? Your stomach pain must be from not eating regularly.”
“I just don’t like strangers in my private space. Besides, it’s not a serious injury or anything. I’ll recover and take care of myself soon enough.”
I really disliked her overly strong-willed personality, so I scolded her, saying, “If you can handle everything yourself, then why have stomach pain? Why don’t you go to work today instead of hiding at home?”
Jian Wei removed her hand from her stomach, frowned, and replied, “Zhaoyang, if you think I’m a burden, you didn’t have to come. I didn’t call you either.”
I didn’t want to argue with her further, so I restrained my frustration and scolding tone, saying, “I didn’t come here to fight with you. I’m taking you to the hospital now… Okay?”
“No need… I’m much better now.”
Her refusal made me anxious, and I was even less willing to waste the time I had sneaked out from behind Mi Cai’s back on meaningless arguments. Immediately, I went to the shoe rack and picked out a pair of soft cotton shoes, placed them in front of her, and urged, “Hurry up and put your shoes on. We’re going to the hospital right now. Whether it’s okay or not will be decided by the doctor.”
Jian Wei shook her head, “I don’t know what excuse you used, but I know for sure that you came here behind Mi Cai’s back… I don’t want any unpleasant misunderstandings between the three of us. As I promised you, let’s stay out of each other’s private lives.” She paused and added, “The worst part has already passed. I really am much better now.”
Half-believing and half-doubting, I chose to compromise because I really didn’t want to waste too much time. But I didn’t leave immediately. I boiled a kettle of hot water for her, then went downstairs to the pharmacy and bought some cimetidine tablets and painkillers to prepare for emergencies. After the water boiled, I poured her a cup, helped her take the pills I had bought, and filled a hot water bottle for her to hold against her abdomen for warmth, which finally eased my anxiety somewhat.
I was about to leave when I still couldn’t shake my concern as I reached the door. I couldn’t forget what I had seen in the kitchen while boiling water—those cold pots and dishes. I could feel her loneliness, as if she were living in a completely cold and emotionless world, with no one around to care for her.
Finally, I turned around and said to her, “Tomorrow, make sure to hire a caretaker. Also, remember to eat your meals on time, even if you have to order takeout… Otherwise, you will really become someone else’s burden—bothering me today, and who knows who tomorrow!”
“I know…” Her lips trembled as if she wanted to say something else, but she ultimately remained silent.
I restrained myself from looking back at her pitiful appearance. I turned around, closed the door, and left… but I stood outside for a long time, a very long time… until I heard her heart-wrenching sobs!
She thought I had already walked far away, but in reality, I hadn’t been able to move my feet at all. However, I couldn’t turn back anymore—really couldn’t. I was afraid that facing her would bring forth an endless stream of pain and broken images… Now, I had already fallen in love with another woman. My concern for her might be friendship or sympathy, but it definitely had nothing to do with love. I kept telling myself this over and over again.
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