Going back the same way, I carried Leyao once again through the underground passage, which made the path we had just walked back and forth feel nostalgic. Yet, aside from this, it held no other significance, because we hadn’t done anything, nor had we followed the lights into that dazzling new district before turning back.
I set Leyao down, panting, and she said nothing else. She simply waved at both Luo Ben and me before walking across the street and getting into her car, quickly disappearing from the old district and from my sight.
I gazed at the direction she had left for a long time before finally saying to Luo Ben beside me, “You’ve helped me handle such a significant matter, so why do I feel no gratitude at all?… On the contrary, my heart feels heavy!”
Luo Ben handed me a cigarette. After we both lit ours and took a deep puff, he sighed and said, “This woman may seem glamorous, but her fate has been far more bumpy than most. I really hope Cao Jinfei is a reliable man. If it truly turns out to be a marriage of convenience or one based purely on business interests, I’ll feel heartbroken for her!”
“Who wouldn’t feel pain… Let’s just hope Cao Jinfei can give her a happy marriage.”
Luo Ben looked at me and finally said nothing more. He patted my shoulder, then slung his guitar over his back, rode off on his motorcycle, and left me standing at the entrance of the underground passage alone among strangers passing by. Thinking that Luo Ben had Wei Manwen by his side and that at least Leyao had the girl with her, I felt an overwhelming loneliness surging toward me. At that moment, I didn’t know where I should go.
…
I rode the moped I had borrowed from a company employee back to the office, then took my own car and drove aimlessly through the city. Later, driven by subconscious impulse, I arrived at the moat. In truth, I hadn’t visited this place in a very long time. I remembered the last time I came here, wearing only a thin coat. Now, the edge of the river had already frozen over with a thick layer of ice.
I stood by the railing and smoked a cigarette. Finally, I took off my gloves, pulled out my phone, and dialed Jian Wei. She seemed to still be busy and didn’t answer immediately. I didn’t rush to call again, putting the phone back into my pocket. I simply gazed at the streetlights’ reflections shimmering in the river, thinking of nothing else—not even that woman far away in America, with whom I hadn’t spoken for several days, yet who still haunted my thoughts.
The familiar scent of perfume drifted toward me with the cold wind. I turned around and saw Jian Wei already standing beside me. She wasn’t looking at me as she said, “I saw you standing by the railing, so I didn’t answer your call.”
“I see.”
“Hmm, why did you call me?”
“I just wanted to tell you that Leyao has agreed to sign the contract. I offered her the maximum salary we had previously agreed upon—3 million. Do you have any objections?”
“She deserves that salary. It’s acceptable to me.” She smiled and added, “If you could negotiate it down by a few hundred thousand, that would be even better. That amount could buy a small prime advertising spot in the city center.”
I smiled too, took another puff of my cigarette, and told her, “Actually, Leyao didn’t keep that 3 million for herself. She donated it to a poor mountainous area to build roads.”
Jian Wei looked surprised: “Hmm?… It seems she has some connection with that village.”
I nodded: “Yes, the girl was brought out of that village by her, and Luo Ben’s wife once taught there as a volunteer teacher… It’s a very poor and backward place. However, after crossing several mountains, you can still see a stretch of railway tracks where trains pass through. That really surprised me!”
“Have you been there?”
“Twice.” After a long pause, I added, “It’s a place that can cleanse your soul.”
“Oh… If you like it there, we can build a Hope Primary School in the company’s name, improve the teaching conditions, and I’ll have an opportunity to visit.”
“That’s a great idea, but we should wait until we finish the micro-film project.”
Jian Wei agreed and said nothing more, simply leaning on the railing and repeating the action I had just done, gazing entranced at the flickering lights reflected on the river. She appeared lonely too, yet at this moment, our shared loneliness no longer connected us, and the story would not continue by the side of this moat… I knew I should leave, so as not to make both of us lonelier.
Before parting, I said to Jian Wei, “Please let Fang Yuan know that Leyao is ready to sign the contract.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself? He’s been anxiously waiting for your news!”
“Earlier, it was you who told him that Leyao hadn’t signed the contract. Now, it should still be you who tells him that the issue has been resolved. That way, it will seem complete and coherent.”
“Are you blaming me for telling him that?”
“That’s not necessary. Even if you hadn’t told him, he would have found out through other channels eventually… Actually, I just don’t want to make any more calls tonight. I want to turn off my phone and be alone. If I could fall asleep lying in bed, that would be even better!”
“Then go back and rest. I’ll call him.”
“You should go back early too… In this bare and bleak winter, this moat isn’t really that beautiful. Looking at it too long makes one feel depressed.”
Jian Wei merely shrugged, without clearly indicating how much longer she would stay. But I really wanted to leave and go back to bed for a good sleep.
…
Back at my place, I lay on the bed, preparing to turn off my phone as planned, when the ringtone unexpectedly sounded again. I thought it was Mi Cai and quickly picked it up, only to find it was the manager of the “Kong Cheng Li” restaurant. She had never called me this late before, so I assumed something urgent had happened. I answered with some concern. Her tone, however, wasn’t as anxious as I had imagined. She said to me, “General Manager Zhao, please come to the restaurant quickly. CC has drunk a lot of alcohol and is almost unconscious. I don’t know where she lives. Please come and pick her up.”
Then I recalled what Luo Ben had said—that he would marry Wei Manwen on New Year’s Day. CC must have been triggered by their upcoming wedding. All her attempts at appearing strong and her façade had finally been ruthlessly torn apart on this lonely night. I knew: the more rational a woman is, the more her pain multiplies after drinking, because she had suppressed herself too much when sober.
After ending the call with the manager, I quickly got dressed and hurried out into the endless night toward “Kong Cheng Li.” The manager had made the right decision calling me. In this city, CC was actually quite lonely. Thus, there weren’t many friends who could help her after she got drunk. Luo Ben was one, but he was no longer appropriate to go. Leyao could have been another, but she lacked the physical strength. Mi Cai was even less practical, as she was currently thousands of miles away in the US, busy to the point of desperation…
Shortly afterward, I arrived at Kong Cheng Li. CC was already slumped on the table, unconscious. The staff was cleaning up the vomit on the floor. I didn’t need to ask to know how much she had drunk… The amount of alcohol she consumed clearly reflected the depth of her sorrow. After all, CC had never been drunk to the point of losing consciousness in front of others in her circle of friends. This time, she had truly drunk herself into a breakdown, both physically and emotionally.
I carried CC through that dimly lit alley and placed her in the front passenger seat, fastening her seatbelt for her. I tried talking to her, but she only breathed heavily and kept saying how sad she felt. I knew her sadness wasn’t just physical—it was the pain of a heart with nowhere to settle… But all of this would eventually come to an end. She should have anticipated this day would come, yet she still hadn’t been mentally prepared. It seemed that one-sided love was indeed the most terrifying demon in the world, tormenting the softest parts of one’s soul.
I didn’t start the car immediately. Instead, I searched through CC’s bag for the keys to her apartment before starting the engine. In the middle of the drive, CC painfully vomited again, but there was no food—only the pungent smell of alcohol and gastric juices. My heart ached for her deeply. I really wanted to sober her up and ask what exactly she had done tonight—whether she had done anything other than drink. Even watching a movie to distract herself would have been much better than this.
Along the way, I also stopped at a pharmacy to buy some hangover medicine, went home to grab a set of clean clothes, and then took CC to her apartment. I carried her into the bedroom, helped her take off her coat, and placed a warm towel on her head. Only then did I go to the bathroom to take a hot shower, washing away the strong smell of alcohol clinging to my body. I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh bitterly, thinking how many times she had done the same for me before, and only years later did we finally have the chance to switch roles.
After the shower, I made CC a cup of warm milk. She drank some while still dazed, though I knew she would probably vomit it back up. I placed a laundry basin beside the bed and set up a makeshift bed on the floor so I could take care of her through the night.
CC had truly drunk far too much. She didn’t even have the strength to cry or talk nonsense—only intermittently vomiting. Thus, I couldn’t relax either, and it wasn’t until around one o’clock in the morning that things finally quieted down a bit. But I was no longer sleepy, and I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ups and downs we had experienced together.
The silence of the night was once again broken by the sound of my phone ringing. I thought it was Luo Ben checking in on CC, but this time it was Mi Cai calling. Life was still relentlessly throwing all sorts of unexpected events our way. If it hadn’t been for this sudden call, I might have even doubted whether I had crossed her mind at all these past few days.
I exhaled deeply and finally answered Mi Cai’s call in a calm tone, greeting her, “Good evening…”
Mi Cai laughed: “You should say good afternoon to me. It’s me who should be saying good evening to you.”
“Don’t worry about the details.”
“Okay, how have you been these past few days? Are you very tired?”
I never wanted to make her worry, so I replied, “Everything’s going well. All is running smoothly. But yes, I am really tired… Right now, I’m at CC’s place. She drank herself unconscious and has been vomiting nonstop until now!”
Mi Cai’s voice was filled with concern: “Her alcohol tolerance is usually so good, and she’s always so rational. How could she have drunk herself into such a state?”
“No matter how strong someone’s tolerance is, they can’t resist wanting to get drunk… Luo Ben is getting married to Teacher Wei on New Year’s Day!”
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