Luoben hugged Leyao tightly. After her emotions had slightly calmed down, he whispered softly in her ear, “Actually, I have absolutely no interest in interfering with your business collaboration with Zhaoyang, but I can’t bear to watch you deceiving yourself, watching you turn your life into a deliberate farce. That’s why I invited you out… I want to see an outgoing you, because that’s your innate personality. Don’t let this personality be destroyed by the ignorance of love, okay?… You really don’t need to compete with Mi Cai. You know, Zhaoyang has never loved you. He, like me, is willing to care for you as a friend or an older brother, but definitely not involving love… What exactly is love? Sometimes it isn’t as great as friendship.”
Leyao remained silent in her sobbing. After a long pause, she looked up with red eyes and wept, “You bastard! You say love isn’t great… But isn’t Wei the most important person in your life?”
“Only mutual love is great… If one-sided love doesn’t learn to let go, it will eventually become a tragedy. There’s never been a great tragedy in this world. Don’t you understand?… Birds know the north is cold and fly south before winter comes. Half of your winter has already passed. Why are you still foolishly staying in the north, waiting for a chest that will never warm you?… If you don’t leave soon, you’ll freeze to death!”
Leyao lifted her head, refusing to let tears fall again, but still sobbing, “Do I really have to let go of the past to deserve a future?”
Luoben hugged Leyao a bit tighter and sighed softly in her ear, “Don’t you already understand all this? Why do you still get entangled in the past and make yourself so miserable?”
“I’m just a woman who isn’t even as smart as a bird… You know, tomorrow feels so far away, yet the past is so vivid and clear. To fall in love with someone again for several more years is so hard… Sometimes I’d rather just die alone in the icy north… Who cares what the south is like!”
Luoben gently stroked Leyao’s hair like an older brother, filled with compassion, whispering, “Let it out. After you’ve vented, remember to pull yourself together, marry Cao Jinfei well, and then live your own life properly…”
“Waaah…” Leyao’s crying never stopped. My eyes became a bit moist. I turned my head, lit a cigarette, and looked at all the floating objects in this dry winter, swaying in the sky above the city…
…
On the endless long street, I carried my own and Luoben’s guitars on my back. Luoben carried Leyao. We walked side by side, stepping on the fallen leaves underfoot, heading towards the distant city area that kept flickering but was somewhat blurred.
Leyao held a roasted sweet potato I had bought for her, eating it carefully. She told Luoben that at this moment, she felt like a proud princess, loved by two men. She wouldn’t forget that several years ago at this time, we had also been like this, staggering out of a bar after getting drunk, with both me and Luoben taking turns carrying her, walking through this city where we couldn’t find our souls… Therefore, she loved us so much, wanting Luoben to be her older brother and me to be her other half, feeling that her life would have no regrets.
Hearing her say these things, there were tears forming in Luoben’s eyes. I took a cigarette from the pack, put it in his mouth, lit it for him. He took a big puff and then cursed at me, “What crap cigarette is this? It’s making my eyes burn!” As he cursed, two real tears rolled down from his eyes. He was really clever, not only indirectly cursing me but also hiding his emotions…
Leyao had regained some of her liveliness and asked Luoben, “Ben… If I had fallen in love with you back then, would you have married me?”
Before Luoben could answer, she answered herself, “You wouldn’t either… Who made me so unlucky, meeting two men who both have their own stories. Therefore, people should believe in fate. Isn’t it great to just be buddies who eat and drink together? Why think so much… Think about me, a shining national goddess. I’m not worried about finding a man to marry, am I?… Even if winter has come, I stubbornly stay in the north and refuse to leave. My unstoppable brilliance will warm the entire north, right, Ben?”
Luoben nodded, then looked at me. I was a bit distracted and tripped over a raised floor tile, staggering for several steps before finally sitting down on the ground. I finally had the chance to see Leyao’s face directly. She looked at me and smiled, softly cursing, “You idiot!!”
I also smiled at her. When the streetlight shone on her face, I seemed to see myself in her pupils, but then it became unclear again. Thus, I truly felt that her smile was like a farewell ceremony. In fact, other than sunlight, there is no brilliance that can warm the entire north. At this moment, she had finally spread her lazy wings, endured the pain, and was singing a song of winter, flying towards the warm south. I still wished her all the best…
Luoben gently put her down from his back, looking worried and checking whether his expensive Ibanez guitar had been damaged by my fall.
Leyao also walked up to me, stretched out her hand, and said, “Get up. Don’t give me such a big salute. I’ve already forgiven you!”
After a moment of hesitation, I finally handed her my hand. She pulled me up from the ground, and our shadows finally intersected under the streetlight. I also felt the warmth of her hand.
She helped me brush the dust off my clothes, gazed at me for a long time with that same half-smiling, half-indifferent expression, and said, “Zhaoyang, you’re actually a very pitiful person too. You were once pitiful because of material poverty, and now you’re pitiful because of loneliness. I’ve always felt心疼 for you, but this心疼 has never been what you needed most. So, all I can do is wish you well. I hope you won’t be lonely anymore, won’t be lost anymore. I also hope that the woman you love the most will return soon and stay by your side wholeheartedly from now on, loving you just as stubbornly as I once stayed behind in the north.”
A whirlwind of emotions surged in my heart, eventually turning into just two words: “Thank you,” which I said to her.
Leyao nodded, and after a long pause, she continued, “I’ll sign that contract, but the 3 million yuan acting fee, donate it to that small village where the little girl was born and raised. I once promised the villagers that I would help them build a road to the town.”
“Should it be donated in your name?”
Leyao shook her head and said, “Donate it in your company’s name. If you think that’s unnecessary, then donate it anonymously… For me, that place is just a warm south. I hope there will be a real path leading to the outside world.”
“Okay, I’ll help you with this.”
“Thank you. Cao Jinfei doesn’t care about the acting fee either, so I’ve decided for him. As for his share, you can open an account and deposit it there. When the little girl goes to college and has her own financial management ability, then give it to her.”
“Why not give it to her directly yourself?”
“Who knows where I will be by then? Maybe I’ll be living abroad again… It’s better to leave it with you.”
“Alright, these are just simple things to do.”
Leyao smiled, patting my shoulder and said, “Carry me back the way we came. My car is still parked by the road near that underground passage!”
I let out a soft sigh, bent down, picked her up, and together with Luo Ben, retraced our steps along the same path toward that old district. As the wind whistled “whoosh” past our ears, occasionally carrying sparks of life from the new city, behind us bloomed… bloomed!
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage