Weiran stood between me and Mi Cai. His complex expression told me that he seemed to have a thousand words to say, but in the end, he only managed a faint smile and said to Mi Cai, “Betsy, I just simply wanted to come and see you off. You don’t need to look at me so guardedly.”
Mi Cai responded with a faint smile and said, “You’re overthinking. I’m the same as before, just as unguarded toward you as always… I’m genuinely happy that you came to see me off!”
Weiran nodded, momentarily at a loss for words. However, Mi Cai could no longer linger at the airport. She waved goodbye to everyone and prepared to head toward the ticket check-in counter. I suppressed my reluctance and calmly watched her back, while Weiran suddenly stretched out his right hand, instantly realizing that he could not stop her, and shouted toward her back, “Betsy, do you have anything else to leave me with?”
Mi Cai turned her head to look at him, her face carrying a hopeful smile as she said, “There are many women who are fond of you, some of whom are genuinely sincere. You should calm your heart and seek out the love you truly need… wherever I am, as your younger sister, I will always bless you. I hope to see a happy you next time I return home!”
After finishing her words, Mi Cai did not stay any longer and ran quickly toward the check-in gate. Weiran’s lips slightly twitched, his expression full of loss and pain, as if his soul had suddenly been torn away from his body.
…
That was how Mi Cai left. I did not immediately leave with the others but stood outside the airport barrier, feeling empty inside as I gazed toward the place where the airplane vanished into the clouds. Standing on the same level as me was Weiran…
Finally, the plane disappeared completely from my sight as a tiny dot. I instinctively wanted to light a cigarette, but then I remembered Mi Cai’s parting advice and eventually abandoned the thought of smoking. However, the feeling of loss made me increasingly suffocated.
At some point, Weiran approached and stood beside me. I glanced at him briefly before shifting my gaze again, still staring at the place where the plane had merged with the clouds. Weiran, rarely speaking in such a calm tone, said to me, “Can you give me a cigarette?”
I was somewhat surprised, “Do you have a habit of smoking?”
“Habits are all formed over time.”
I took the unopened pack of cigarettes from my pocket and tossed it to him, saying, “I was planning to quit smoking anyway, so you can have this pack. But I should tell you, some habits are better not formed because they’re too hard to break!”
Weiran opened the cigarette box, pulled one out, and I handed him the lighter. He struggled several times against the wind before finally lighting the cigarette. He didn’t immediately bring it to his mouth but instead held it between his index finger and thumb, turning it slightly. With a hint of unwillingness, as if speaking to himself or to me, he said, “As long as you want to quit smoking, you can take some medication to do it… but what about emotions?… Probably, the more you try to quit, the more it hurts!”
I didn’t respond with words but continued gazing at a distant power pole battered by the cold wind.
Finally, Weiran brought the cigarette to his lips for a puff and, in a self-mocking tone, said to me, “Zhaoyang… up until today, I’ve never been able to figure out why Betsy would be so devoted to staying with you… what exactly is it about me that’s worse than you, a man who struggles at the very bottom of society!”
I looked at him and, after a long pause, replied, “I don’t understand either… but one day both of us will find the answer, maybe through sudden enlightenment, or maybe through the tempering of time.”
“I’d rather get the answer directly from Betsy herself.”
…
After returning to Suzhou, I faced the first night following Mi Cai’s departure. I felt completely drained, so after work, I went to the “Empty City” music restaurant, where I coincidentally encountered CC, Roben, Wei Manwen, and Leyao, who was with her daughter.
When they saw me arrive, the group all put down their chopsticks. Then we saw Roben extend his hand toward CC and Leyao, saying, “Let’s settle the bet. You two had better pay up!”
CC readily pulled out a hundred yuan from her wallet and handed it to Roben, but Leyao refused to pay. I approached them, somewhat puzzled, and asked, “What bet are you talking about?”
Leyao replied, “We bet on whether you would come here to eat tonight… Zhaoyang, you’re really annoying. You never show up early or late, but you had to show up precisely tonight!” Then she turned to Roben and said, “I don’t care—I don’t have any money. If you want it, go ask Zhaoyang for it, since he just had to come uninvited!”
Roben placed his hand on Leyao’s shoulder, his tone impatient, “Don’t argue. Even if you don’t have money, you still have to pay. Don’t always drag Zhaoyang into everything. He might not even want to deal with you anyway!”
I pulled up a chair and sat beside them, then took out a hundred yuan from my wallet and tossed it in front of Roben, saying, “Although this girl is a bit of a brat, don’t be too hard on her. After all, you’re a guy and she’s a girl.”
CC smiled and said, “Zhaoyang, we made a bet about you, and in the end, you’re the one paying up for Leyao. Your tolerance has really reached a high level now!”
I responded with a smile to CC, then called the server to bring me a mug of draft beer. My previously empty and desolate mood finally felt somewhat lighter because I was gathered with these friends. I said to them, “Since you’re all here today, I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Leyao was the first to respond, “Well then, everyone better listen carefully. It’s rare for our unreliable brother Zhaoyang to speak seriously for once.”
I was already used to Leyao teasing me and didn’t mind. After organizing my thoughts, I explained my “Music Wagon” plan and expressed my hope that they would also join as performers.
As always, Roben was straightforward and said to me, “Leave the task of forming the band to me… I’ll at least form three bands with different music styles for you.”
I nodded in gratitude. CC then said to me, “A few years ago, I toured nationally with the Music Wagon. If you need a leader, I can take that role. Of course, what interests me most is being able to bring my instruments and give the most passionate live performances… it’s been a really long time since I’ve done such open-air performances!”
My heart immediately gained confidence because of CC and Roben’s participation. Leyao, who had been silent all along, chimed in, “Zhaoyang, don’t forget about me when the time comes. I can be a guest performer!”
“I can’t afford such a big-name guest performer… our performances will mainly be charity-based and non-profit.”
Leyao glared at me and said, “Did I mention performance fees?”
“Even if you did, there’s actually a serious matter I need your cooperation with.”
Leyao looked at me but didn’t readily agree as she usually did. Instead, she asked first, “What kind of matter?”
“Besides launching the Music Wagon project, we’ll also shoot a short film for the ‘Artistic Road’ project to reflect its spiritual essence. Both the investors and I believe you’re the most suitable candidate to play the female lead, so we hope you’ll join us. Of course, we’ll negotiate a satisfactory remuneration with you.”
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