Returning to the old house where Mi Cai and I had countless arguments, I chewed painkillers while lying on the sofa to ease the discomfort. Mi Cai poured me another glass of water and sat down across from me.
She asked, “Are you feeling better?”
“Just need to rest a bit, then I’ll be fine.”
Mi Cai nodded and said, “Then I’ll take you home once you’re better.”
I sat up painfully, “Where should I go?”
“Aren’t you temporarily staying at your friend’s place? I’ll drive you back there.”
I replied angrily, “Can’t you show a bit of humanity? I’m a sick person right now!”
Mi Cai remained calm, “This is my house, not a hospital. Why should I accommodate a patient? Unless you think your condition is really serious, I can take you to the hospital.”
I lay back on the sofa, adopting an indifferent attitude, and once again we fell into a cold war due to our disagreement.
A short while later, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I turned over, took it out, and noticed it was an unfamiliar number with a Shanghai area code. Puzzled, I answered, “Hello, who is this?”
There was a brief silence before the voice on the other end said, “It’s me, Jian Wei.”
My mind suddenly went blank, and even the stomach pain seemed to disappear. After a long pause, I mechanically replied, “What’s up?”
“Come out for a chat. I’ll wait for you at our old place.”
I hadn’t even reacted when Jian Wei hung up. She was still the same as before—never giving me a chance to refuse. That was why I didn’t refuse or ask for reasons when we broke up.
Even after the call ended, my heart was still in turmoil. But one thing was certain—I would definitely go to meet her. At the very least, we could still be considered ordinary friends.
Finally, I put the phone back into my pocket and said to Mi Cai, “I’m going out to meet a friend. Please leave the door unlocked for me.”
“Just go already. No need to leave the door open. Take anything of yours that’s still here with you.”
At that moment, I had no mood to argue with Mi Cai. I glanced at her once more and walked out the door, my stomach still aching. Perhaps the pain in my heart was even harder to bear.
…
Standing outside the residential complex waiting for a taxi, I pondered where Jian Wei meant by “our old place.” Was it the music restaurant CC? Or the riverside? I couldn’t be sure. This uncertainty showed how many memories we had in Suzhou, so many places we once lingered. Each place held an unforgettable past.
Eventually, I decided to go to the riverside. It used to be our favorite evening walking spot. We laughed and played there, admiring the picturesque scenery.
Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at the riverside section we frequented. I sat on the grass, lit a cigarette amid the stomach pain, and felt uneasy. I didn’t know why Jian Wei suddenly invited me, nor did I know how to face her or what to say when we met. Look at me—this is what time does, turning past intimacy into present ignorance!
Half an hour passed, and Jian Wei still hadn’t arrived. In the cold autumn wind, I finally realized I had come to the wrong place. Perhaps Jian Wei was waiting for me at CC’s music restaurant.
I immediately took out my phone to call her, but her line was busy. Just after I hung up, her call came through. Probably, we had dialed each other simultaneously.
After connecting, Jian Wei told me she was at CC’s restaurant, and I told her I was by the riverside. I offered to go to her, but she insisted on coming to me. Naturally, I complied, ending the call and beginning a new wait.
I felt disappointed. I couldn’t even guess the “old place” in Jian Wei’s heart. Our hearts had long since drifted apart, so our breakup was inevitable.
…
Autumn wind blanketed the night, neon lights illuminating everything around me. By this seemingly pleasant riverside, I lit another cigarette, watching the smoke swirl and dissipate.
Twenty minutes later, I spotted a Cadillac CTS parked by the shore. This top-of-the-line CTS had been a graduation gift from Jian Wei’s father three years ago. It was precisely this car that violently pulled us from our innocent campus romance into reality. Even now, I still clearly remembered how I had forced a smile when Jian Wei first took me for a drive in her new car, as if I had painfully foreseen our inevitable end. And indeed, I had predicted it correctly.
Jian Wei opened the car door and stepped out. She wore light clothing—a short women’s leather jacket, light gray casual pants slightly loose-fitting, and her hair simply tied back. She was dressed casually, unlike the last time I saw her at the bar, when her luxury brand attire dazzled me so much I couldn’t look directly.
I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze. I turned my head away and took a deep drag from my cigarette, finishing half of it in one puff.
The familiar scent of Jian Wei’s perfume drifted into my nose. Finally, I looked up at her and asked stiffly, “Why did you invite me here?”
Jian Wei sat beside me and said, “Must there always be a reason to invite you?”
Trying to relax, I smiled slightly and asked, “Didn’t you go to Nanjing with Xiang Chen? Why are you back so soon?”
“I have my own schedule.”
“True, you have your own schedule,” I echoed, unsure what else to say. I lit another cigarette, gazing at the rippling river surface, feeling both lost and anxious.
Jian Wei took the cigarette from my fingers and said, “Don’t smoke in front of a lady. Be more gentlemanly.”
My lips twitched. Jian Wei was actually asking me to be a gentleman. Time indeed changes people. Once, she enjoyed playing and fooling around with me, even sharing my cigarettes. Now, I realized she had truly moved far away from my world, while I couldn’t keep up with the times, foolishly standing still, watching and waiting. That’s why I had so awkwardly smoked in front of her.
After a silence, I finally said, “Go ahead, tell me the real reason you invited me out. We shouldn’t just sit here in the cold wind.”
Even as I said this, I wished to sit here with her all night, watching her carefully, observing her appearance after three years. I wanted to let her know how much I loved her eyes that shimmered like water, her slightly upturned lips, her blooming smile, her calm expression, her womanly charm, her seemingly scolding yet caring love, her whispering softly in my arms, and the heavy breathing after our lovemaking…
I loved everything about her, every moment we had together. But now she was like a kite I had let go, and I could only hold the broken string, helplessly watching her fly far away to the distant north, vanishing into the sunset’s glow, leaving only a memory of her walking away from me.
So much disappointment, so much melancholy, so much reluctance!
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