When I told Mi Cao that Fangyuan wanted to apply for a position at Luku, she didn’t show any particular reaction. I couldn’t even remember how many times she had fallen silent tonight, but this silence already gave me the answer: at this crucial moment when Zhuo Mei was on the verge of going public, everything was expendable for her. Therefore, where Fangyuan worked was not within her consideration.
I looked at her for a long time before finally sighing softly, grabbing my coat and saying, “I’m leaving first. You should rest early.”
“Where are you going?”
“To find Fangyuan. He’s still waiting for my news. Although it’s not good news, I should still let him know.”
“Let me go with you…”
I looked at her and asked, “What for? To tell him in person that he’s been fired by Zhuo Mei?”
“I… I just don’t want you to feel upset!”
“Even if I am upset now, it won’t help. Why should I make things harder for myself? Stay here, don’t go anywhere. You need to rest well.” As I spoke, I checked whether the windows were properly closed. After confirming they were secure, I put on my coat and walked outside.
…
The cold rain continued to fall outside. I got into my car but didn’t start the engine immediately. Instead, I lit a cigarette for myself. I wasn’t sure how I should convey Mi Cao’s decision to Fangyuan. I didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes, nor did I want to imagine the day when he would eventually leave Zhuo Mei in defeat. I knew better than anyone else how hard he had worked over the years. Mi Cao’s decision was too unfair to him…
Frustrated, I crushed the cigarette in my hand and finally called Fangyuan to arrange a meeting at the “Fifth Season” bar.
Fifteen minutes later, we met at the parking lot outside the bar. As soon as he got out of his car, he asked, “Zhaoyang, what did the boss say?”
I glanced into the bar and gestured for us to talk inside. Fangyuan finally controlled his emotions and followed me into the bar… Perhaps because it was raining and wasn’t a weekend, the bar was unusually quiet today. There were only a few customers drinking for entertainment and a singer performing. She was singing a folk song I was very familiar with. Its gentle melody made the bar seem even quieter, yet very suitable for conversation.
Fangyuan and I found a corner seat and ordered a dozen beers. I gestured for him to drink first before we talked…
Fangyuan drank half a bottle of beer in one go before asking me, “Is the boss still angry?… Thinking back now, breaking the computer today was really impulsive of me!”
“Breaking the computer is a small matter… Fangyuan, I don’t want to beat around the bush with you. Mi Cao still holds the same position: either you go to the U.S. with her team, or…”
Pain flashed across Fangyuan’s face. He downed the remaining half of the beer bottle in frustration before saying in a low voice, “Zhaoyang, I know the boss investigated me, and I know she found out about my past with Mi Lan. But I’ve always followed the rules and worked diligently at the company. She shouldn’t doubt me like this!”
I lit a cigarette but didn’t know what to say, because nothing I said could change the predicament Fangyuan was facing.
Fangyuan painfully slapped his forehead, “Can’t a person ever make a mistake in life?… I made just one mistake in my entire life, and it’s ruined all the results I’ve worked so hard for. Even if I go to the U.S. with her, she probably won’t trust me again… I was such an idiot!”
I lowered my head, staring at the seemingly crystal-clear glass ashtray on the table. My heart churned with a bitter feeling. Sometimes reality is like this: a wrong decision, an uncontrollable indulgence, can destroy everything… Until I finished my cigarette, I finally said to Fangyuan, “Some mistakes indeed cannot be remedied, but you’re still lucky because you still have the chance to start over. At least Yan Yan is already pregnant with your child. Your new chapter in life has just begun!”
Fangyuan leaned his head back against the sofa. After a long while, he rubbed his face hard before saying to me, “Zhaoyang, I understand. As your brother, I won’t make things difficult for you. I’ll write a resignation letter to the boss!” Saying this, he took out paper and a pen from his briefcase. After a moment of silence, he finally placed the trembling pen on the blank A4 paper.
The words blurred into my vision, pulling tighter and tighter on the already taut string in my heart. I felt suffocated. This suffocation repeatedly drove me to stop Fangyuan from continuing to write, but I ultimately didn’t extend my hand. I just watched helplessly.
Finally, Fangyuan pushed the completed resignation letter in front of me. He simply said, “Help me hand this to the boss,” before grabbing the beer bottle on the table and drinking continuously. His life had already been completely changed by this resignation letter… Perhaps, as he said, in life, there are indeed some things that one cannot afford to do wrong, because not everyone can look at it with a forgiving heart!
I placed my hand on his that held the beer bottle and said, “Don’t be discouraged. No matter how hard life gets for you, your brother will always stand behind you and support you… Join my Luku. Let’s start our own business together, as brothers…”
Fangyuan looked at me with a look full of loss. After a while, he smiled slightly and said, “Zhaoyang, I genuinely appreciate you, brother, but this city, Suzhou, really makes me feel tired. You should understand this feeling the most…”
I indeed could understand this feeling, because I had also once left Suzhou during the lowest point of my life. Yet I couldn’t be sure what Fangyuan was trying to express, so I asked, “What exactly do you mean?”
“Actually, I’ve known this day would come for a long time, because the boss had long ago excluded me from her faction. She would eventually target me, and this time was the best opportunity… In the end, I was just a scapegoat in the internal power struggle at Zhuo Mei. The boss wanted to send a message to others by firing me… Haha, I admire her strategy, but I’m also tired of these business strategies and intrigues… I thought a lot this afternoon. It’s time for me to leave this city… I want to take Yan Yan back to our hometown. We still have some savings, and the house here can sell for a good price. We can go back home and start a small business. Just like you said, it’s time for my life in Suzhou to come to an end. I should start a new life…”
My heart suddenly felt hollow, feeling a sense of sorrow for Fangyuan. All those sleepless nights had resulted in nothing but this bitter departure…
Fangyuan kept drinking beer after beer, venting his sense of shame as a failure in this city, while I stayed with him the entire time. When he finally lost consciousness in front of me, I reached into my pocket, took out my phone, and notified Yan Yan to come to the bar and take him home…
As I waited alone, smoking, I also did some self-reflection. I asked myself: Was it really the right choice to strongly recommend Fangyuan to join Zhuo Mei back then? Part of his current troubles was entirely because of me. If it hadn’t been for the bar fight back then, he wouldn’t have taken the hit from the bottle thrown at Mi Lan, and perhaps there wouldn’t have been that unfortunate relationship afterward…
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