The sound of the engine was unusually clear in the rain, yet gradually faded away with the departing speed. When I turned around, Jian Wei had already driven out of my sight. I took a deep breath and continued walking into the residential complex, imagining she might be waiting for me here.
Standing beneath the old building, I looked up. The old room where we once met was completely dark. I walked around to the back of the building but didn’t see Mi Cai’s room either. In other words, my judgment had been wrong—Mi Cai hadn’t returned here.
I stood in the rain for quite a while, feeling disappointed after my incorrect assumption. Then I walked out of the residential complex and came to the convenience store with the mechanical horse. After buying a pack of Marlboro, I lit one and sat on the horse, watching the people passing by in the rain. My mind drifted back to recent events.
If Jian Wei hadn’t provided those photos of my past to Ran, what would our situation be like now?… I thought: Perhaps we would already be married!
Yet even though Mi Cai and I had broken up, I couldn’t bring myself to hate Jian Wei, because I had indeed cheated on her before. I was just puzzled—who had taken those photos and sent them to her? Was the sole purpose really just to separate me from Jian Wei?
With a soft sigh, I smoked half of the cigarette in my hand. It hurt my lungs a bit. I had smoked too much this afternoon with Luo Ben. I put out the cigarette, then inserted a coin into the mechanical horse and it began swaying to the sound of a children’s song.
The rain grew heavier. I looked at the other unused horse and felt a vague sense of loss. I had already gotten used to sitting on one horse while she sat on the other… So I inserted another coin into the other horse, and it began swaying alone in the rain and wind. I seemed to see her faint smiling shadow, and I smiled too—even though I knew it was just an illusion!
But where exactly in this city was she now?
…
Using the umbrella Luo Ben had given me, I left this old neighborhood. When I reached an intersection, I found myself at a loss again—I didn’t know where to go. After this intersection, there would be countless others to choose from. Even if I made all the right choices, I might still miss her by a hair. Finally, as midnight approached, I became more convinced that the fate between us had been recklessly squandered. Tonight, I no longer had the ability to meet her one last time.
At this intersection, I chose to turn left. I knew that walking another 200 meters in this direction would take me into another old alley in the old city. Since the hope of meeting her had already become slim, I might as well walk into the old street in the rain and enjoy the final moments of peace…
Soon I reached the end of the alley, where I spotted a small, unassuming coffee shop named “West of the Old City.” This was yet another alternative coffee shop hidden beneath the city’s bustling surface. After walking so far, I really felt tired, so I decided to go in and get a cup of coffee to refresh myself.
The coffee shop was so small it could barely fit a few tables and chairs. The walls were not decorated, but instead pasted with various travel magazine covers and pages. Even the lighting was nothing more than two old oil lamps used in ancient maritime times—one hung above the counter, the other suspended over a table. The room was dimly lit but filled with the aroma of coffee.
I said to the male owner wearing a denim jacket, “Bring me a cup of ‘West of the Old City,’ I’d like to try it…”
He nodded and brought me a cup of plain coffee a few minutes later. It had no embellishment, not even milk or sugar. I quickly understood—this unadorned cup of coffee was the real “West of the Old City.” But making it so profound, how many people could truly appreciate it? Most likely, in the end, it would just be consumed casually—and found unbearably bitter.
The coffee cooled down, and I hadn’t touched it. I simply picked up a travel photography magazine from the table and started reading. Twenty more minutes passed like this. It was already 10:30 PM, which meant there was still an hour and a half until the deadline of my agreement with Mi Cai. My sense of despair deepened.
Finally, the owner came over. He removed the cooled “West of the Old City” and replaced it with a fresh hot cup. I looked up at him, and he said nothing, just turned and walked away.
I wasn’t fond of bitter coffee, but this time I couldn’t let it cool again. I stirred it a few times, waited for it to cool slightly, then drank the entire cup in two gulps. Immediately, that indescribable bitterness tortured my taste buds. My previously sluggish spirit became oddly agitated, then excited. Giving in to the sensation, I called out to the owner again, “Another cup of ‘West of the Old City,’ please!”
Soon another plain cup of coffee was placed in front of me. As before, I didn’t taste it immediately. I stirred it a few times and drank it all at once. A strange sense of exhilaration filled my heart. I pulled out a hundred yuan note from my wallet and placed it on the table. I asked the owner, “When do you close?”
“No fixed time.”
“Then could you wait a little longer tonight? Maybe later I’ll bring someone here for coffee.”
“Drinking too much coffee at night isn’t good.”
“It’s fine… If I can bring her here, I don’t plan to sleep tonight anyway. Drinking coffee won’t matter then!”
The owner smiled, “Alright then. I live upstairs in the loft. If you close too late, just knock on the door.”
I nodded, picked up the umbrella under the table, and ran out of the coffee shop. I suddenly felt like I knew where Mi Cai was. If she still wanted to be with me, she wouldn’t be aimlessly wandering around this city. The city was too big—there was no way we could meet by chance. Therefore, she must be waiting at a place filled with our memories. Perhaps at the square west of the old city, where we often played and where we had made our agreement… But maybe I was overthinking it.
I threw away the umbrella that had become a burden and sprinted toward the square. Perhaps she had been waiting there for me for a long time. Perhaps I was mistaken again. But regardless of the outcome, the remaining time allowed me to go to only one place now. Whether I could meet her or not—this time, it really had to be left to fate!
Amidst the wind and rain, I finally arrived at the square. Standing in its center, I looked around, but reality struck me ruthlessly once again. The square was already completely empty, and even half of the streetlights around the neighborhood had gone out. My heart immediately sank into a bone-chilling cold. It turned out she really didn’t want to give me a chance. Our so-called agreement was just a temporary excuse for us both to save face. She remained that cunning career woman!
And what exactly was Zhao Yang, who was being battered by the storm and rain? I felt a bit pathetic…
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage