After returning the car to Jian Wei, I went alone to the “Kongchengli Music Restaurant”. I wanted to have some beer to relax myself so I could fall asleep more easily at night. If I was lucky, maybe I could meet CC and listen to a few songs performed by her, which would be a delightful experience.
Fortunately, when I arrived at the restaurant, not only CC but also Luo Ben was there. He was playing accompaniment on the stage for CC. Judging from the situation, CC would be Luo Ben’s guest singer. Weiman Wen was sitting under the stage, watching calmly as Luo Ben and CC rehearsed, occasionally applauding to cheer them on.
With a sense of envy toward Luo Ben, I sat down beside Weiman, ordered a large mug of beer, and greeted her: “Good evening, Teacher Wei.”
“Hello, Zhaoyang.”
I smiled, then drank half of the beer in one go. After a moment of silence, I asked Weiman, “Teacher Wei, have you settled down with your job in Suzhou?”
“Yes, I’m currently working as a teaching assistant at a university.”
“Awesome!”
Weiman just smiled at my compliment. In fact, she should have returned to Beijing to work at a university several years ago. Continuing her educational career path was the most appropriate choice for her, coming from a family of scholars.
I nudged her arm and earnestly said, “Teacher Wei, there’s something I’d like to ask you.”
“Okay, go ahead.”
“I suppose your university must have quite a few single, young female teachers, right?”
“That’s actually true!”
“Then could you possibly introduce one to me?”
Weiman looked at me incredulously, clearly unaware that Mi Cai and I had already broken up.
Just as I was about to explain, Luo Ben came down from the stage. He sat across from Weiman and me, threw me a cigarette, and asked, “What are you two talking about?”
“I’m asking Teacher Wei to introduce me to a female colleague at her school.”
“Has your head been hit by a hammer?”
“Come on, bro, don’t say that. I really want to find a reliable girl now, preferably someone I can quickly marry.”
Luo Ben scoffed and said, “You know how to find a reliable girl, but don’t you think the girl might also want a reliable guy? Zhaoyang, I’m serious, do you think you’re reliable right now?”
I took out my lighter from my pocket but felt a wave of sadness. This lighter had been given to me by Mi Cai through Mi Lan. Perhaps she had once truly cared for me, but our efforts and affections had never coincided at the same frequency. Therefore, everything always seemed so deliberate. Thinking carefully, maybe this was also a sign of incompatibility.
After taking a deep puff of my cigarette, I finally lied to Luo Ben, “I think I’m quite reliable.”
Luo Ben slammed the cigarette box onto the table like a judge’s gavel and said after a while, “I don’t even know what to say anymore!”
Ignoring Luo Ben, I continued to implore Weiman, “Teacher Wei, you really must help me with this. You know, people in the teaching profession, who spend their days educating students, must be well-mannered and knowledgeable. I genuinely admire that, so I’ll definitely approach this relationship with the most sincere attitude!”
“Zhaoyang, stop right there. Weiman hasn’t even agreed to anything yet, so don’t be so pushy and start dragging this into the realm of emotions!”
Continuous interruptions from Luo Ben annoyed me greatly, but I didn’t know how to counter him, so I just stared at him in frustration.
Finally, Weiman, who had been silent, spoke up, “Zhaoyang, I actually understand you quite well, but I think you’re not ready yet. When you’re fully prepared, you won’t have to ask, and Luo Ben and I will help you find a girlfriend. For now, you should just calm down.”
Before I could respond, Luo Ben added, “Mánwén, I suggest you don’t bother yourself too much over Zhaoyang’s love life. Think about it, Lèyáo is such a big star—famous, beautiful, and absolutely stunning. Yet, he still looked down on her. Comparing that, do you think the women you could introduce would even meet his standards?”
Weiman looked at me, waiting for my response, which clearly showed that she was still willing to help me solve my emotional problems.
I quickly said, “Don’t listen to Luo Ben twisting things around. I know what kind of person I am. I’m just not good enough for Leyao anyway…”
Before I could finish, Luo Ben interrupted again, “Oh, as if you were good enough for Mi Cai! Let’s not play games here, okay? Although I understand how you feel after being dumped by Mi Cai, as your friend, I hope you can maintain a normal mindset and not act like you’re so desperate for a woman. You’re not that desperate!”
I ignored Luo Ben and shifted my gaze to CC, who was still rehearsing on the stage. Perhaps Luo Ben was right—I wasn’t that desperate, but I did have a strong, urgent need for marriage. I couldn’t forget the nearly desperate look in my father’s eyes when he heard about my breakup with Mi Cai. I was even less certain how many more times he and my mother could endure the emotional rollercoaster from hope to despair.
I was an unfilial son… but in my heart, I always wanted to be a good one!
…
At 11 p.m., “Kongchengli Music Restaurant” began closing for the night. I stood at the street corner with Weiman, CC, and Luo Ben, preparing to say our goodbyes when I turned to Weiman again and said, “Teacher Wei, can we talk in private for a moment?”
Weiman nodded, and I, slightly dizzy from drinking, staggered with her to a streetlight. Lighting a cigarette, I sincerely said again, “Teacher Wei, do you believe in me? I’m actually not a particularly boring person, so asking you to talk alone like this fully demonstrates my sincerity and determination. Please definitely remember to help me find someone. I have a natural liking for the teaching profession, and I believe I can be very responsible when it comes to emotions and marriage… seriously, if you don’t help me find someone, I’ll have no choice but to register on a dating website. Surely you don’t want to see me in such a pitiful state, right?”
Weiman looked at me with a mixture of amusement and exasperation… after a while, she said, “Zhaoyang, have you had a bit too much to drink?”
“You see, Teacher Wei, I’m not saying this to offend you, but do I look like I’m drunk? As long as I want to, no, as long as you’re willing, I could even dance a passionate rumba for you right now!”
As soon as I finished speaking, I felt someone pulling my ear, and then heard someone say to Weiman, “Teacher Wei, don’t mind him. He’s just drunk and talking nonsense…”
I turned my head and saw that it was CC tugging at my ear. I endured the pain, retreating step by step following CC’s lead, while desperately shouting at Weiman, “Teacher Wei, please don’t forget what I asked you… thank you, thank you so much!”
…
Weiman and Luo Ben had already left together. Under the dim light of the streetlamp, only CC and I remained. Although we were two people, that lonely feeling of having no one to love made us, two kindred souls, even lonelier!
I sat dejectedly under the streetlight, staring blankly at my own shadow…
CC squatted down, put a cigarette in my mouth, lit it for me, and hugged my shoulder saying, “There there, don’t be silly, and don’t degrade yourself…”
I stared at CC’s familiar face for a long time, then suddenly burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder, “CC… I’ll tell you, I don’t care who she loves or who she marries. I won’t even bother… but it still hurts a bit… so what if it hurts? I’ve been used to it for a long time anyway. So let her marry whoever she wants… I’ll just pretend those past promises were blown away by the wind or eaten by a dog… I’ll never believe in love again! Let whoever love whoever…
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage