After leaving the “Kongchengli” music restaurant, I headed straight for Zhuomei. After parking my car in the underground parking lot, I took the elevator to Zhuomei’s office area, where, as expected, I was stopped by security outside the visitor registration desk.
As I was about to call Mi Cai, I happened to see her walking from the exclusive executive corridor toward the elevator. I quickly turned back, and we met at the elevator entrance. She glanced at me, and her mood seemed even worse than when we parted yesterday.
I pressed the elevator’s down button before her. When the elevator arrived, we both stepped into the empty cabin. The elevator doors slowly closed, and the dim lighting seemed to highlight the awkward silence between us, making the atmosphere rather chilly.
Dressed in a black business suit, she leaned tiredly against the elevator wall, while I stood close beside her. As the elevator neared the bottom floor, I finally said, “Let’s have dinner together later…”
She shook her head but gave no reason for refusing.
“Am I really that annoying to you now?”
She still remained silent.
“You really are a heartless woman!”
She looked at me and finally spoke, “What exactly makes a woman loving and considerate?”
“…Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
The elevator finally reached the bottom floor. She stepped out before me, and I followed her to the underground parking lot—a place where we had parted unhappily many times.
I blocked her car door and said in a low voice, “Will you please give me a chance to talk? I really can’t stand this hanging-in-the-air, unsettled feeling anymore. No matter what, we should come to some understanding, right?”
“Wasn’t the message you sent me last night a kind of explanation?”
I suddenly recalled that, indeed, I had impulsively sent her a message last night saying, “Life is happy because it is ordinary.”
I said to Mi Cai, “Yes, I admit I really want that kind of happiness found in the ordinary, but we’ve never experienced it together…”
Mi Cai gave a wistful smile, “Yes, I’ve never given you that kind of happiness, so this morning, Leyao’s announcement to retire from the entertainment industry coincidentally aligned perfectly with your thoughts!”
I was startled. I recalled again that at the end of Leyao’s statement this morning, she had also mentioned her desire to pursue an ordinary life and happiness. I hurriedly explained, “It was just a coincidence. We haven’t communicated privately, so please don’t deliberately associate these two things together.”
“I’m not suspecting any private communication between you two, so I said it was just a coincidence…”
Suddenly, I fell silent, feeling deeply upset. I understood what Mi Cai meant. I couldn’t help but wonder whether Leyao, who shared the same pursuit, might be more suitable for me. At this moment, I felt that Mi Cai and I were already walking further and further apart, even though her handbag might still contain the engagement ring I had given her…
Mi Cai looked gloomily toward the exit of the underground parking lot. I knew she wanted to leave, so instinctively I pressed myself closer to her car door and tightly grabbed her handbag, saying, “…Will you marry me? Let’s go to the civil affairs office tomorrow to register our marriage. We should spend our whole lives together!”
“Zhao Yang, don’t pressure me like this… Right now, you’ve become a stranger to me. Your heart has never truly belonged solely to me, and you can’t forget the women who have appeared in your life as if they were just passing strangers!”
“I’ve tried really hard to forget!”
Mi Cai shook her head, “Forgetting should be a natural process; it doesn’t require deliberate effort. Your biggest flaw is your lack of self-control, which makes you unstable. I really don’t feel safe with you!”
I felt deeply disappointed. I knew Mi Cai’s mindset had changed. I was no longer the man who could replace Mi Zhongxin to give her love and security. In the end, under the ravages of reality, we had lost the trust and expectations we once cherished. Now, everything had changed! That love we had carefully nurtured had finally become a burden!
I smiled bitterly and said to her, “What is love? Love means being able to enjoy the fruits of autumn together and endure the desolation and bleakness of winter. But what about us? We’re more like birds of a feather fleeing separately in times of hardship, full of irony. So… this loveless relationship isn’t worth keeping!”
Mi Cai remained silent…
Finally, I moved away from blocking Mi Cai’s car door. At this moment, I was willing to give her complete freedom amidst my pain. From now on, we would become the most familiar strangers…
Tears welled up in Mi Cai’s eyes but stubbornly refused to fall. She took out the engagement ring I had given her a few days ago from her handbag, held it out to me slightly, and said, “Sorry, I can’t be your wife in this life… I hope you will be happy!”
Mechanically, I took the ring from her hand. My heart felt pierced by countless needles of pain. Instinctively, I wanted to grab the edge of her clothes, but my hands were numb. I could only watch helplessly as she got into her car, which then transformed into a bitterly cold wind, sweeping away all the warmth from my body, leaving me completely lifeless…
…
I abandoned the Grand Cherokee in the parking lot and walked alone on the bustling streets. I was hurting, really hurting this time. I hurt so much that I couldn’t even remember to drown my sorrows in alcohol or cry to mourn this lost love. So, I appeared so calm, calm enough to be swallowed up by the crowd, unnoticed by anyone!
Life is so unpredictable, and so are people… Yet stubbornly, I pursued a love that would never expire, unaware that even cling film has an expiration date, let alone love! Even though I saw through all this, the unavoidable pain still felt so real. Thus, I believed: the only thing in this world that never expires is the unavoidable pain… I seemed to be falling again into these pains, sinking and deteriorating!
The road stretched endlessly before me. I dragged my weary legs through a landscape that seemed unchanged yet felt unfamiliar. It was as if I saw a profound mistake—why on such a simple evening had I broken up with her so painfully? And all the things we had done for each other in the past had finally become scattered fragments. After walking through them once in memory, they would soon face the fate of being forever forgotten…
I was so reluctant to let go, yet we had truly broken up. I tried to comfort myself with the freedom gained after the breakup… But I didn’t know who else I would fall in love with in the rest of my life… Thinking about it, I no longer wanted to love deeply again. It would be better to find an ordinary woman and live an ordinary life henceforth!
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage