The raindrops continued to beat against the tent in the same rhythm, creating an endless dripping sound in our ears. Yet, we had little to say to each other, simply waiting for the next train to pass through our line of sight.
A long time passed, and I no longer saw any train approaching from afar. Feeling somewhat tired, I lay down. Leyao also lay down afterward, but on the other side of the tent. That night, neither of us spoke again, quietly waiting for the moment of departure the next day when we would bid farewell to the small village.
In the middle of the night, the rain finally stopped. I was awakened by the sound of a train passing by and the clatter of the tracks. After that, I couldn’t fall asleep no matter what I tried. I applied some insect repellent and then unzipped the tent. Lighting a cigarette, I sat on a rock on the hill, gazing at the vast land below, feeling somewhat at a loss.
I asked myself repeatedly: Had I really changed? If I had, was I the man in the studded leather jacket who used to scream for the thrill of freedom—the man Leyao described?
I could barely remember anymore. That studded leather jacket I used to love wearing had long since disappeared, and I had never thought about it again. If this detail was any indication, I indeed no longer resembled my former self.
The cigarette had gone out without me realizing it. During this period of my life, I had not felt any desire to change myself, nor did I feel that my current self was bad in any way. I simply wanted a stable life, to marry Mi Cai, and to give Bobo and Mom the longed-for grandson. In this way, I could give a perfect answer to myself, to life, and to my loved ones.
…
The next morning, the two of us sat on the hill watching the sunrise. Then we packed up the tent and headed back to the small village. Robben had been waiting for us at the village entrance all along. Seeing us return, he immediately sighed in relief and asked, “Where did you two go last night? Your phone was unreachable!”
Leyao ignored him and walked directly into the village. Robben asked again, puzzled, “You didn’t do anything inappropriate with the big shot, did you? After all, you two were alone together, and this isn’t the first time you’ve done something wrong!”
“We didn’t!”
“Really didn’t?”
“Seriously, we did absolutely nothing. I just accompanied her to watch the train and the sunrise on the other side of the hill.”
Robben shook his head and sighed, “It’s hard to say. If this gets out to the reporters, it’ll become another scandal that can’t be cleared up.”
“Stop nagging. Hurry up and pack. We need to leave soon.”
Robben finally realized that this wasn’t the time for jokes. He nodded and walked toward his accommodation. Soon after, the three of us had packed our bags and arrived at the village entrance. The village chief, along with many villagers, had come to see us off. They were grateful toward us, especially toward Wei Manwen, who had given so much to the village.
After exchanging our final goodbyes, we were about to leave when Leyao suddenly stopped and asked the village chief, “Uncle, do you trust me?”
The village chief didn’t understand what Leyao meant and asked in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“When I come back to the village next time, I will definitely help build a road connecting the village to the city!”
The village chief stared at Leyao with his mouth wide open. Building a mountain road was no small matter. The township government had tried for years to attract investment to build a drivable road out of the village, but had never succeeded. For Leyao to make such a claim was simply unbelievable to the village chief.
Robben smiled at the village chief and said, “Uncle, maybe she really can make this happen for the village. Just look forward to her next visit.”
The village chief was so moved that his lips trembled as he tightly held Leyao’s hand, not knowing what to say. At that moment, I finally saw Leyao letting go of her obsession. She no longer expected this village to become her dreamlike garden. Instead, she wanted to open a path for the village toward the outside world.
So, who in this world doesn’t change? At that moment, I was even less willing to think about whether I should return to my former self. This current mindset was, for me, a form of growth. At my age, shouldn’t I be thinking about settling down and building a career, rather than spending all day holding a guitar, wearing a studded leather jacket, and playing the eccentric, free-spirited type in bars?
Finally, the excited village chief let go of Leyao’s hand. We said our goodbyes once again, but had only taken a few steps when we heard a young girl’s childish voice from behind us: “Leyao jiejie, wait up… please wait!”
The three of us turned around at the same time and saw a little girl of about six years old running toward us, holding a basket in her hands. She handed the basket to Leyao with a purely innocent smile and said, “Leyao jiejie, these are wild fruits I picked in the mountains. They’re really sweet. I brought them for you to eat.”
Leyao took the small bamboo basket from her hands, gently stroked her hair, and with tears in her eyes, told Robben and me, “Her nickname is Yatou. A few years ago, her father died in a work-related accident while working away from home. After that, her mother remarried and moved elsewhere, never returning even once a year. Since then, she’s been like an orphan, raised by the neighbors.”
I looked at Yatou again. Her frail body seemed to carry the hardships of life. I thought again of Wei Xiao in Suzhou, who had also suffered misfortune. How tragic it was that there were so many children being tormented by life in this world, and we could only meet and help a few of them.
Almost simultaneously, Robben and I took out a stack of money from our wallets and handed it to the village chief to help support Yatou’s life. After repeatedly thanking us, the village chief finally accepted the money. Leyao, however, tightly hugged Yatou in her arms, tears streaming down her face as she whispered softly, “Yatou, you must be a good girl in the mountains. Once I finish my business in Beijing, I’ll come to pick you up and take you to live with me in Beijing… I’ll let you attend the best school and become a child with dignity!”
“Leyao jiejie, what does having dignity mean?”
Leyao was momentarily stunned. In fact, the word “dignity” was heavy and complex. Finally, I answered for her: “Dignity means making you as happy as other kids, with lots of toys and delicious food every day!”
Yatou’s face lit up with a smile as she gripped Leyao’s hand even tighter: “Then, jiejie, you must come get me soon. I’ll wait for you at the village entrance every day!”
Leyao nodded firmly. I then asked Yatou, “If you go to live in a big city, will you miss Uncle, Auntie, and all these other kids?”
Yatou turned her head and looked at the crowd who had come to see us off. She replied firmly, “When I grow up and become someone useful, I’ll bring Uncle, Auntie, Xiaoliang, Jinhua, Lizi, and all the other kids to the city with me, so they can live good lives too!”
I nodded. At this moment, who would dare to take this little girl’s words as mere childish talk? At least I wouldn’t, because I believe in the character of mountain people. They will carry the word “gratitude” in their hearts, remembering it for their entire lives!
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