Half an hour after Li Xiaoyun left, the entire Xitang Street was once again illuminated with bright lights, so I blew out the candle in the candelabrum, making the smoky smell in the air even stronger.
I sat back on the recliner and took my phone out of my pocket again, my finger lingering over Mi Cai’s number for a long time, yet I still couldn’t bring myself to press the call button.
This hesitation made me feel extremely anxious, and finally, in frustration, I threw the phone onto the stone table beside me.
I stared blankly at the bustling, neon-lit Xitang Street and couldn’t help but ask myself: in an era where Mercedes and BMWs run all over the streets, why is my own entrepreneurial journey always full of thorns and troubles?
Is their success really too easy, or am I simply too one-sided, seeing only their glamour?
At this moment, I felt lost, yet I dared not extinguish that heart of striving. Thus, I was torn, experiencing for the first time in my life the hardships of entrepreneurship amidst agony.
The next noon, I sent Li Xiaoyun to the Xitang bus station, where she would transfer to Shanghai and then fly directly to Xiamen.
At the moment of parting, we didn’t offer each other any parting words. She just asked me to give her the 70 yuan left over from the haircut yesterday, so I had 308 yuan temporarily kept with her.
Finally, we hugged lightly and then went our separate ways into different worlds. Her world was about to be filled with the sea breeze, waves, and seafood of Gulangyu Island, while my world was still full of helplessness after running out of money.
Therefore, I didn’t return to the inn but directly drove that old minivan to Suzhou because the only people who could solve my financial issues at this moment were those few friends in Suzhou.
…
When I arrived in Suzhou again, it was already afternoon. The first person I contacted was Yan Yan, because she controlled the family finances, and borrowing money from her would be more efficient than asking Fang Yuan.
Around four o’clock, Yan Yan took a leave from work to meet me, and we met in a coffee shop in the city center. However, this time she didn’t seem as energetic as before; she looked very tired.
I handed the ordered coffee to her and asked, “Have you been working very hard lately?”
Yan Yan took a sip of coffee and replied, “Not really, same as usual. But you, why did you suddenly come back to Suzhou?”
I found it hard to bring up the topic of borrowing money, so I smiled and said, “I missed you and came back to see you.”
Yan Yan just looked at me without scolding me with her usual phrase, “You rotten guy.”
I leaned closer to her and said, “I came all the way to see you. Can’t you give me a smile, my lord?”
“Zhaoyang, don’t mess around. I’m not in the mood.”
I finally sensed something and anxiously asked, “Has something happened?”
Yan Yan suddenly choked up. My heart tightened, and I quickly handed her a tissue, urging her to wipe away her tears.
Yan Yan dabbed her eyes with the tissue, still sobbing as she said, “I had a fight with Fang Yuan… He hasn’t come home for a whole week… Since we’ve been together, we’ve never been apart for so long!”
I was so surprised that I asked incoherently, “How could you have a fight?”
“Lately, he always comes home very late. That day… I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and lost my temper with him. He also got angry, and eventually, the argument escalated so badly that he… moved out!”
I was silent for a moment before finally consoling her, “He’s currently the manager of the planning department at Zhuomei. His work must be very busy. You should try to understand him a bit.”
“When he worked at Baoli Department Store before, he was busy too, but it was rare for him to come home after midnight for several consecutive weeks, and he always smelled of alcohol. Zhaoyang… tell me, how many women can endlessly endure this?” Yan Yan cried again after saying this.
“Even if you’ve argued for so long, why didn’t you tell me? Do you consider me too much of an outsider?”
“You have your own things to deal with… Besides, this time it turned out so bad that I really didn’t know how to talk to you guys about it!”
“No matter how bad it gets, life must go on… Don’t think too much for now. I’ll go find Fang Yuan right away. Some things won’t get resolved if they’re not addressed promptly and will only accumulate into bigger problems!”
Yan Yan nodded, her tone tinged with self-reproach as she asked me, “Zhaoyang, am I really too inconsiderate of him?… Sometimes when I see him so exhausted from work, I feel heartbroken too, but…”
“When two people live together, it’s inevitable to have some bumps along the way, so mutual understanding is very important. This argument can be seen as a learning process. Maybe after calming down, Fang Yuan also regrets it!”
Yan Yan didn’t speak, still crying.
I asked her again, “During these days when Fang Yuan wasn’t around, did you contact him?”
Yan Yan shook her head: “I don’t think… this is my fault. I’ve also been working hard to earn money to keep this family going. I really hope he could give a bit more attention to me…”
As she spoke, Yan Yan’s expression became somewhat dazed and pained. She pressed her forehead with both hands, sobbing uncontrollably: “Zhaoyang… I really want a child, but… but I haven’t even dared to mention it to him!… Isn’t that sad for a woman?”
I gently patted Yan Yan’s back, trying to help her calm down, but my own heart felt increasingly heavy. Could it be that even the model couple Yan Yan and Fang Yuan couldn’t withstand the test of time?
How long can one person really accommodate another?
…
After persuading Yan Yan to go home and rest, I drove directly to Zhuomei and called Fang Yuan on the way. Just as the call was about to time out, he finally answered.
I got straight to the point: “I’m in Suzhou now. Do you have time? Let’s meet and talk.”
Fang Yuan replied quickly: “Not today. I’m about to head to the headquarters in Shanghai for an urgent meeting.”
“Fang Yuan, work is important, but can it really be compared to your wife and family?”
“Do you know about the fight between Yan Yan and me?”
“Can fire be contained by paper forever?… No matter how important your meeting is, if I don’t see you in half an hour, don’t ever mention the word ‘brother’ to me again.”
I angrily hung up the phone… and lit another cigarette to calm myself.
I wasn’t unfamiliar with working in a department store, so I naturally understood the importance of an urgent meeting. But why did I still use the word “brother” so unreasonably to pressure Fang Yuan?
After smoking half a cigarette, I finally figured it out. Because the couple Fang Yuan and Yan Yan carried the last hope of our university romance, they were also the beautiful ideal I always longed for… If even they were to fall apart, then truly, there would no longer be that crystalline city in this world.
…
I had already ordered beer at the barbecue restaurant we often frequented during university and was waiting for Fang Yuan. Half an hour passed quickly, but he didn’t show up, which made me even angrier.
Just as I was about to take out my phone to call him again, a black Land Rover pulled up in front of the barbecue restaurant, and then Xiang Chen got out of the car. From a distance, he said to me, “Zhaoyang, let’s have a few drinks first. Fang Yuan will be here soon.”
I immediately understood that the half-hour time limit I had given Fang Yuan was too strict, but he truly valued the word “brother,” so he had sent Xiang Chen to come first to smooth things over.
Xiang Chen sat across from me, poured me a glass of beer, and then poured one for himself before raising his glass toward me in a toast.
I temporarily put aside my emotions and clinked glasses with him, but I could no longer remember when it was the last time we had sat down alone together for a drink—how many years ago was that!
Yet, this reunion between just the two of us made me feel uneasy!
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