I started the car and turned on the headlights. I had an instinctive urge to look back at her sitting in the back seat, but I forced myself to maintain an indifferent demeanor after our breakup. At that moment, any unconscious act of concern would serve as evidence that I still loved her. Yet I only wished to use a perfectly indifferent attitude to bring this story to an end.
I exhaled softly, finally stepping on the accelerator and driving away from Xitang.
The night had completely enveloped the earth, but I drove quickly, hoping to end this torment of saying one thing while feeling another as soon as possible.
After driving for about forty minutes, I gradually grew tired of the silence, stiffer than the darkness around me, so I turned on the car’s music player, and a familiar melody echoed inside the car.
After a few songs, the music switched to Junzi’s song “Winter Solstice.” My thoughts drifted back to last New Year’s Eve, when Mi Cai had specially learned two songs by Junzi—”Vernal Equinox” and “Beginning of Autumn”—to prepare for the “Fifth Season” New Year’s Eve event. She hadn’t learned “Winter Solstice” at that time.
Looking at it now, she must have developed a fondness for Junzi as a result, and that was why the out-of-print album “Vernal Equinox · Beginning of Autumn · Winter Solstice” was in her car.
“Why are there so many walls? All long roads become longer as you walk them.”
I became somewhat dazed while immersed in this lyric, and my mind involuntarily wandered to the road I had walked myself—my love life, my career…
Thinking carefully, it seemed that I had always been struggling to overcome one wall after another, created by reality. No matter how hard I tried, I always discovered even taller walls after clearing one. Gradually, I became exhausted and accumulated too much helplessness and complaints.
While lost in thought, I drove around a bend but forgot to switch between high and low beams to warn oncoming vehicles. I quickly switched from high beams to low, but the car coming from the opposite direction did not dim its lights. My vision was blinded by the bright lights, so I instinctively slammed on the brakes and slowed down.
Before my vision had fully recovered, the car shook violently. With a scream from Mi Cai in the back seat, the airbag deployed from the steering wheel and hit me hard in the forehead.
I was dizzy for a long time before my vision gradually returned. I discovered then that the car had crashed into a tree by the roadside, and the tree had been broken in half.
I felt a wave of fear. If not for the Q7’s superior safety performance and strong braking capability that slowed the car down at the critical moment, the consequences would have been unimaginable.
I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt, opened the door, and ran to the back of the car, shouting Mi Cai’s name. At that moment, I couldn’t be sure whether she had fastened the seatbelt in the back seat. If she hadn’t, with such a strong impact…
I dared not think further. My hands slightly trembling, I opened the back door and felt slightly relieved when I saw that Mi Cai had her seatbelt on, although her expression looked somewhat dazed.
In intense panic, I cautiously asked, “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
She shook her head after a long pause.
“Gently move your limbs and see if you’re injured anywhere.”
Mi Cai gently moved her hands and feet and finally spoke, “No.”
My heart finally settled. In that moment, I suddenly understood why Mi Cai was so terrified—her father Mi Zhongxin had died in a car accident. She naturally feared car accidents far more than an average person.
Feeling both heartbroken and guilty, I unfastened her seatbelt and carried her out of the car.
She tightly held my hand, and I gently pulled her into my arms, repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” and telling her, “We’re okay now.”
After Mi Cai’s emotions had slightly stabilized, I finally used her phone to call for roadside assistance.
About half an hour later, the tow truck arrived at the scene. Mi Cai, as the registered owner, completed the necessary paperwork.
Before leaving, the rescue personnel told us there was a roadside motel about 500 meters ahead. If we weren’t in a hurry, we could stay there for the night.
The night had grown extremely dark. Nearly fifteen minutes had passed since the rescue team had towed the car away, and finally, both Mi Cai and I began to calm down from the previous heart-stopping incident.
I turned to her and asked, “Would you like to stay at the roadside motel? Or perhaps wait here and see if any cars are heading to Suzhou.”
“I’m tired.”
I nodded and then squatted down, signaling her to climb onto my back so I could carry her to the roadside motel ahead.
Without being burdened by the so-called breakup, she leaned onto me just as she used to. I gently lifted her up, using the lights from passing cars, and walked along the roadside trees toward the motel on the edge of the highway.
…
After walking for about fifteen minutes, we finally saw the roadside motel mentioned by the rescue personnel. It was a very old motel. In front of the motel, the ground was full of deep and shallow potholes caused by years of heavy trucks driving over it. The air was filled with the smell of gasoline and diesel.
This made me even more guilty—Mi Cai had probably never stayed in such a low-quality motel before.
I pushed open the door and carried Mi Cai inside. At the front desk sat a middle-aged woman of slightly heavier build, knitting while watching TV.
I put Mi Cai down and signaled her to sit on a chair in the corner first, but she didn’t leave, continuing to stand beside me.
I took out my ID card and said to the middle-aged woman, “Hello, do you have any rooms left?”
“No.”
“This… not a single room available?”
The middle-aged woman replied impatiently, “Didn’t you see the trucks parked outside? A convoy arrived tonight, and there are no rooms left.”
I tried to remain patient and said, “Please try to find a solution for us. There’s no other place for us to go.”
The middle-aged woman finally looked up at me and Mi Cai and said, “Really no rooms. If there were, who wouldn’t want to do business?”
I took out my wallet and pulled out one hundred yuan, placing it on the counter. “Please try to find a solution.”
The middle-aged woman put the hundred yuan into her pocket, thought for a moment, and said, “There is one room, which is where my daughter used to live. She’s at university out of town and it’s been empty for a long time. There’s no bathroom inside, only a shared one. If you don’t mind the poor conditions, you can stay.”
I looked at Mi Cai for her opinion, and she nodded.
I took out another hundred yuan and handed it to the middle-aged woman, but she waved her hand and said, “No need, the money you gave just now is enough.” Then she took a key from the drawer and gestured for us to follow her.
…
After walking through a narrow corridor, we finally reached the room the middle-aged woman had mentioned. She opened the door and signaled us to go inside.
I thought for a moment and said to Mi Cai, “You go in and rest. I’ll just stay on the sofa in the lobby for the night.”
The middle-aged woman looked at me in confusion, probably thinking we were a couple and that it was natural for us to share a room.
Mi Cai looked at me, remaining silent for a long time before saying, “I’m scared to stay alone.”
The middle-aged woman had already turned on the light and said to me, “The young lady says she’s scared. You’re a young man—don’t be so shy. Besides, if you sleep on the sofa outside, I don’t have extra blankets for you… Anyway, it’s just for one night. You’ll have to manage. If it’s really inconvenient, I can bring you a chair and you can sleep at the front desk.”
I looked at Mi Cai again. She still had a frightened expression, clearly still shaken from the accident we had just experienced.
Finally, I nodded at the middle-aged woman and said, “Then please bring a chair for me.”
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