Chapter 230: Plant a Seed in Your Heart

I pressed my forehead with my hand, exhaled heavily, and then said to Leyao again, “Give me your phone.”

Leyao shook her head firmly and said, “Let’s stop the bleeding first, no matter what.” After saying this, she pulled me toward the inn’s exit.

Like a machine, I followed Leyao toward the clinic, but my mind was trapped inside my body, unable to break free. So much so that I didn’t even feel the sting of the medical alcohol being applied to my wounds for disinfection.

Amidst the heavy thoughts, I recalled once again the song “New Tenant,” which Mi Cai and I used to tease each other with.

In the end, we were just two birds that had captured each other mid-flight, yet we couldn’t even touch one another’s feathers. So we kept saying “hello,” but the only response was often “disturbing.”

So we were both wrong, but where did this wrongness truly stem from?

Perhaps it originated from a sudden whim, or maybe it was just a long-distance encounter that left us entangled in emotional turmoil, creating troubles for ourselves.

What if, without those impulsive moments, I would still be her landlord, and she my tenant—wouldn’t that have been better?

Right now, I couldn’t give myself an answer. Perhaps from that night when I forcefully imposed the term “tenant” upon her, fate’s gear had already begun turning between us.

…

After leaving the clinic, I still carried the same mood as when I arrived, except now there was a piece of gauze on my face to stop the bleeding. Half an hour had quietly slipped away, but Xitang remained unchanged, as if nothing had happened at all.

On the riverside steps, Leyao sat beside me. Finally, she asked, “What exactly happened just now?”

“I got beaten up by someone.”

“You’re the one who usually beats others up—who could possibly beat you?”

“It’s like I’m invincible and lonely in this world!”

“I don’t care. Next time he messes with you, you must win the fight!”

“Winning or losing doesn’t really matter. Don’t be childish.”

Leyao smiled gently and whispered, “I’m being childish because I want you to feel better.”

I looked at Leyao and suddenly asked impulsively, “What if from now on I just wait for the night and welcome the day, thinking about nothing at all—would that be okay?”

“Then you’d become a vegetable!”

I remained silent, feeling a slight disappointment. It turned out that pursuing an overly simple and worry-free life only led to becoming a vegetable.

Leyao leaned closer to me and said, “Zhaoyang, the truth is, I’m genuinely happy that you’re opening your heart to me and sharing your thoughts.”

“Didn’t I use to talk to you before?”

“Back then, all you did was curse at me and talk about wanting to sleep with me—you never said anything else!”

“Are you trying to tell me that I’m actually a scumbag?”

“But after cursing at me, you still took care of me when I needed you. And when you said you wanted to sleep with me, it only happened once—and you were drunk then… You’re not as bad as you think. On the contrary, I think you’ve matured a bit. At least now you have the desire to strive forward, which is why you took over this inn!”

“Is that so?”

Leyao nodded firmly and said, “Yes… A few days ago, I was filming in a remote mountainous area where even electricity hadn’t been connected. The villagers’ entire life revolved around their small plots of farmland, and their only leisure activity was sitting on the ridges chatting. Yet I felt they were very happy. I realized a truth—that all human suffering comes from overestimating our own importance and obsessing over those vague desires in our hearts, such as love. Once love doesn’t match our fantasies, we feel pain… Actually, when you get down to it, love is just a form of entertainment after satisfying basic needs—it doesn’t need to be taken too seriously!”

Reflecting on Leyao’s words, I found they echoed my own realization of “if the heart remains unmoved, there is no pain.” But why did I still feel pain even after understanding this? Probably because I couldn’t let go of my desires. These persistent desires gathered together, weaving into a black net that blocked the sky and covered the sun, making it impossible for me to ever see that crystal-clear city again.

Finally, I said to Leyao, “If I had the chance, I really would like to throw myself into that remote village without electricity, sitting on the ridges every day, gazing at the vast fields and rows of scarecrows!”

Leyao smiled and said, “And you’d need a pack of Zhongnanhai cigarettes with you.”

“Exactly, I must remember that.”

Smiling, Leyao hugged my shoulder, clearly delighted to have guessed my thoughts.

I laughed along with her, then blankly looked at the willow catkins drifting in the wind across the river. Perhaps my vision had become fatigued, causing my world to flicker between light and darkness. I seemed to see a burning torch, but it soon extinguished. In this dimming world, I gradually lost the desire to call Mi Cai. As for that love, it had disappeared—I remembered it, but I no longer wished to savor or chew over its remnants.

…

The continuous wind seemed to dry my wounds. I sat by the river with Leyao for a very long time.

After a long while, she took out a bank card from her handbag and handed it to me, saying, “Zhaoyang, there’s 100,000 yuan in this card. Use it to renovate the inn.”

I nodded, took the card from her hand without saying thank you, because I felt that such words shouldn’t burden us.

Leyao gently touched the scar on my face and softly said, “I have to leave today at noon.”

My heart seemed to lose its support in an instant, and I instinctively grabbed her hand, “Didn’t you say a week?”

“One of the male actors in the crew has to go abroad for an award ceremony, so the director suddenly added some scenes.”

I realized I had lost my composure and quickly released Leyao’s hand.

But Leyao tightened her grip on my already loosened hand again and said, “Don’t forget your ambition to make this inn a nationwide chain. I will fully support you.”

“This time, I will devote all my strength to managing the inn well.”

“Okay… After finishing this round of filming, I will come back to Xitang to visit you.”

Feeling deeply reluctant, I hesitated for a while before asking tentatively, “Can you stay today?”

“I must return to Beijing before tonight because there are two night scenes scheduled, and everyone in the crew is already in place!”

“Then have a safe trip.”

Leyao nodded. She leaned against my chest for a long while before saying, “Your heart is still beating, but it’s empty.”

“Maybe.”

She unbuttoned my coat and kissed my chest through the sweater…

I looked at her in confusion.

“I planted a seed in your heart. If it rains someday and nourishes you, remember to let this seed sprout and bloom.”

I was stunned for a long time before replying, “If there really is rain to bless this dry land, this seed will surely sprout and bloom!”

Leyao nodded, moved away from my chest, waved at me, then put on her sunglasses and mask, walking alone toward the riverbank.

I gazed at her retreating figure for a long, long time before feeling a warm drop on the back of my hand. It was a tear she had left before putting on her sunglasses.

Or perhaps it was the seed that hadn’t yet taken root in my heart…