The security guard found a tourniquet to help Fangyuan bandage up. Milan kept supporting Fangyuan like that, motionless. I finally calmed down a bit and said to Milan, “We can’t wait for the ambulance anymore. Give me your car key; the nearest hospital is just ten minutes away.”
Mechanically, Milan handed her handbag to me and said, “The car key is inside.”
I opened the handbag and dumped everything out until I found the car key, then took Fangyuan from Milan, held him in my arms, and ran outside.
When I reached Milan’s car, I suddenly remembered the R8 was a two-seater, so I ran back to my own car.
Mi Cai followed me closely and said, “You’ve been drinking. Don’t make things worse by driving. Give me the car key; I’ll drive.”
I gestured that the car key was in my jacket pocket. Mi Cai quickly took it out, immediately opened the car door, and I placed Fangyuan inside, protecting his head, letting him lie on my lap. Mi Cai had already started the car and sped around a bend instantly.
Luckily, there was no traffic jam. The originally ten-minute drive was completed by Mi Cai in five minutes. Yet, to me, it felt like enduring a year of agony. As soon as Mi Cai stopped the car, I rushed out carrying Fangyuan into the hospital, anxiously watching as he was pushed into the emergency room surrounded by a group of doctors and nurses.
…
Mi Cai leaned against the wall. I bent my head, painfully pulling my hair with both hands, unable to utter a single word.
Shortly after, Milan also arrived at the hospital, followed by several police officers preparing to escort me to the police station regarding the fight incident.
I struggled, unwilling to go, wanting to wait at the hospital for Fangyuan’s rescue results.
At this moment, Mi Cai took out her phone and made a call. Then she approached the several police officers and asked, “Excuse me, which one of you is Officer He?”
One officer responded.
Mi Cai handed her phone to him and said, “Sorry for the interruption; your superior wants to speak with you.”
Officer He took the phone from Mi Cai, nodded continuously, and moments later returned the phone to Mi Cai with a cold face, saying to me, “Come to the police station tomorrow to handle the matter yourself, understand?”
I nodded numbly, then weakly sat back down on the chair. Besides feeling defeated, I felt my world had gone dark. How absurd I was, so absurd that I dragged down my friend, so absurd that I needed a woman to resolve one trouble after another for me… Why did I end up like this? Why?
After seemingly going through hell, the emergency room door finally opened. I, Mi Cai, and Milan instinctively rushed toward the attending physician.
The doctor removed his mask and told us, “Fortunately, the blow didn’t hit any vital areas. He has a minor concussion and just underwent a suturing surgery. He should recover after some rest and recuperation.”
A stone seemed to drop from my heart. The tension that had gripped me eased instantly, and I leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. I relaxed for a long, long time before finally daring to pull out my phone and call Yanyan.
…
In the end, Yanyan stayed at the hospital to take care of Fangyuan and didn’t blame me at all, which only deepened my sense of guilt. At this moment, my heart was still filled with fear—if anything serious had happened to Fangyuan, even if I committed suicide in front of Yanyan, it wouldn’t have been enough to make amends.
When I, Mi Cai, and Milan were preparing to leave, Jian Wei, having heard the news, also rushed to the hospital to visit. However, after briefly greeting us, she went directly to the ward. At this moment, I truly felt relieved for her, because giving up on a good-for-nothing like me would spare her many troubles and painful decisions.
After Mi Cai drove me back to the old house, I sat on the sofa chain-smoking cigarette after cigarette, unavoidably thinking deeply. Finally, I crushed out the cigarette in my hand, looked at Mi Cai sitting opposite me, and asked, “You must be very disappointed in me, right?”
Mi Cai remained silent for a long time, but this silence itself was an answer to me. Suddenly, an unbearable suffocating feeling surged inside me. Originally, I had been joyful, planning to give her a bouquet of flowers and invite her for a candlelit dinner, but now it had ended up like this. All because of that damned sense of pride—otherwise, why did I have to go to the bar to drown my sorrows?
But where did this sense of pride even come from?
Ultimately, it was precisely because I had no money and no status. Once I couldn’t live freely in this realistic world, I armored myself with pride, gaining only a pitiful sense of comfort while hiding away like a turtle.
Mi Cai, who had been silent all along, finally spoke to me, “Zhaoyang, can’t you grow up a little? This is already the second time you’ve started a fight at a bar.”
“I couldn’t stand them pointing at my friend and spewing filth about you!”
Mi Cai fell silent again. I knew there was some emotion inside her—she was moved, so she couldn’t bear to scold me again, yet she disliked my recklessness. Because there were many ways to handle tonight’s incident, but I had chosen the most extreme one. Initiating the attack made us lose our moral ground, dragging down my friend even further.
Although I was defending Fangyuan, compared to the near-fatal danger he faced, was this kind of protection really correct?
…
After Mi Cai left, I was alone in the dark room. In the darkness, I gradually calmed down and began to reflect on my past life. I couldn’t remember exactly when I had become controlled by pride, turning into a porcupine, a porcupine covered in backward-facing quills. I had stabbed myself all over and kept pouring salt into those wounds.
I no longer wanted to be that porcupine with backward quills—even if pulling them out would cause unbearable pain, I was willing to endure it.
With a heavy sigh, I finally took out my phone and sent a message to Jian Wei: “Do you have time tomorrow? I want to talk to you about some advertising business.”
Looking at the sent message, I felt as if I had experienced the pain of pulling out those quills. But I needed funds, and in this society, relying on a self-imagined sense of pride wouldn’t truly earn me much dignity. Instead, career achievements and material success are the foundations for survival in this realistic world.
Although I was seeking help from Jian Wei, I refused to feel ashamed anymore. If I could successfully negotiate, at least I would have put in effort rather than receiving charity. I could imagine Jian Wei as the head of an unfamiliar advertising company, assigning me to discuss this advertising business.
Shortly after, Jian Wei replied: “How about after work tomorrow?”
“Okay, you pick the place.”
“Anywhere is fine. I’m just curious—what made you change your mind?”
I stared at this message for a long time, instinctively taking out a cigarette and lighting it. Finally, I typed a line of text on my phone and sent it.
“It’s life—completely changed.”
…
The night grew deeper. Wind blew through the unshut window, moving the curtains. Through the gap, I saw moonlight pouring into the room, so pure and bright that I was captivated, until the message tone rang again.
This was Jian Wei’s reply, coming fifteen minutes later.
“I understand. Tomorrow at 7 p.m., we’ll meet at the Starbucks in Times Plaza.”
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