After washing up and lying in bed, I originally thought the night would be quieter without the sound of firecrackers. However, the pattering of raindrops against the window soon filled the silence.
My thoughts were quickly drawn into this rain-soaked memory, bringing me back to that rainy night when I first met her.
At that time, I was in a miserable state, so destitute that I had nowhere to go in that familiar city. She, on the other hand, seemed to despise me so much that she wouldn’t even offer me an umbrella in the pouring rain. Yet, I shamelessly took a bank card from her, and from that moment on, our fates became intertwined.
Later, I treated her roughly, so she schemed to lure me out to the suburbs. I cooked ginger soup for her when she had a cold, and she came to the police station to rescue me after I got into a fight. We often argued, yet we would also give each other gifts. Sometimes she was annoyed by my boredom, yet at other times, she accompanied me in it. So we raced go-karts at the plaza, sat on the mechanical horses in front of the convenience store… Gradually, these fragmented moments wove together the wonder of fate and my growing love for her. I believe she felt it too… But how, exactly, could I hold on tightly to this love?
I, who had been quietly joyful, suddenly felt panic and unease creeping in.
Lighting a cigarette, I slightly calmed my emotions and finally sent her a WeChat message: “Are you asleep yet?”
“No, I’m watching a TV show.”
“It’s raining. Can you hear it?”
“Is it raining?”
“Turn off your TV and you’ll hear it.”
“Just a moment, I need to finish this episode.”
Feeling helpless at Mi Cai’s lack of cooperation, I stubbed out the cigarette, placed my phone back on the nightstand, pulled the blanket up to my neck, and closed my eyes, listening to the rain pattering outside.
A moment later, the WeChat notification tone rang again. Thinking that she had finished watching the episode and was ready to chat with me, I eagerly grabbed my phone from the nightstand. But to my surprise, she merely asked: “Aren’t you watching TV?”
“I don’t have the habit.”
“This is the national premiere of this show today. It stars your friend. Won’t you watch it?”
I was taken aback. Mi Cai was actually watching a drama starring Leyao. I had indeed forgotten that today was the premiere. I quickly messaged her: “Which channel?”
“It’s on several satellite TV stations. Easy to find.”
I turned on the TV and quickly found the show currently airing. Coincidentally, it was Leyao’s scene. She was playing a minor palace maid who endured her委屈 with tears.
Mi Cai sent another message: “She’s a good actress. She really captures that sense of restraint.”
I sighed, knowing in my heart that Leyao could portray such restraint so vividly because she had lived a life of it. For example, when she was slapped by another actress on set, how else could she, as a newcomer, survive in such an environment without learning to endure?
Thinking about Leyao’s hardships, I suddenly didn’t want to watch anymore. I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, then opened the window and lit another cigarette.
Compared to Mi Cai, Leyao’s family background wasn’t much better. Although she had both a father and mother in this world, they divorced when she was in college and quickly remarried, forming new families. They had always neglected Leyao, so she often bitterly said she had no parents, as if she had sprung from a crack in a stone.
I still remember the first time I met her—she was penniless and drinking heavily at a bar. In the end, Luo Ben and I, two broke guys, pooled some money to pay for her tab.
Later, we became friends, and her life remained difficult. So I helped her get a few opportunities to shoot promotional posters for the Poly Department Store where I worked at the time, easing her financial stress. After that, I made a mistake while drunk—I slept with her. Looking back, it’s an unforgivable stain on my life, especially because she was my friend. It’s precisely because of this that we got entangled in a complicated relationship that I later came to resent.
My thoughts were interrupted again by the WeChat notification tone. This time, I waited a while before picking up my phone to check.
“Zhaoyang, are you watching TV?”
“No, I’m not watching anymore. It’s boring. Just another stupid time-travel drama! Are you still watching?”
“It’s over. They only aired two episodes today. I’ll continue tomorrow.”
I couldn’t help but ask with a wry smile: “So are you watching the show, or are you watching Leyao?”
“Both.”
It was an honest answer, making her seem more down-to-earth. At least she, like many other women, enjoyed watching time-travel dramas. Thinking about it, maybe it wasn’t so strange after all. After all, during the impromptu concert “The Fifth Season” held at Zhuomei, she even asked me to sing “The Little Dragon Man.” And who says a woman so seemingly high and mighty can’t occasionally have a touch of childishness or lowbrow taste?
The night grew deeper. I checked the time and realized it was already time to rest. I finally got back on topic and sent Mi Cai a message: “Let’s go back to Suzhou together the day after tomorrow and attend the class reunion that Fangyuan is organizing. Okay?”
Mi Cai replied quickly: “Okay, I’ll follow your plan.”
“So obedient?”
“Because you’re even more obedient!”
“You’re more obedient…”
“You’re the most obedient!”
Suddenly, I laughed. It felt like we’d had a similar conversation before, but exactly when and under what circumstances, I couldn’t remember!
My fingers hesitated on the screen, finally ending our silly conversation. Gathering my courage, I sent her a message: “Calling you ‘baby’ won’t feel too cheesy for you, right?”
“Don’t you already see me as your baby?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then why would I feel cheesy? But it has to come from your heart.”
“It does come from my heart.”
“Then send me a voice message. Can you actually say it out loud?”
I pressed the voice key, my heart suddenly racing. My face, thick enough to rival a city wall, actually felt warm. Still, I managed to say “baby” out loud.
After releasing the voice key, I gave a self-mocking smile. But in that moment, I understood my feelings for Mi Cai even better. I must be in love with her. That’s why, under the gentle cover of night, I called her “baby”—a simple phrase I had only ever used for my ex-girlfriend, Jian Wei. Even during my months-long relationship with Li Xiaoyun, I had never said it aloud.
“I’m really happy… So I should go to sleep now. You should rest early too.”
“Wait, won’t you give me a sweet nickname too?”
Mi Cai seemed to be thinking, hesitating. After a long pause, she sent a voice message: “I love you…”
Hearing her gentle and delicate voice, my heart blossomed once again. I didn’t even mind that she gave me a verb instead of a noun. For me tonight, the rewards were already too much—so overwhelming, so abundant—that I felt as if I had fallen into a river of happiness from which I could never escape.
I’m so lucky, so fulfilled. I understand what it means for those two words—”I love you”—to come from her mouth. That’s why I’m even more eager to spend my whole life repaying her, experiencing her prime with her, and finally, in my old age, falling in love with the wrinkles on her face.
I turned off the lights and imagined, from near to far, the life we were about to live together. One day from now, she would accompany me to Fangyuan’s class reunion. A week later, I would be by her side at Mi Zhongde’s birthday banquet… I hope these upcoming gatherings will mark a beautiful beginning to our love!
As for me, I should strive to build a career worthy of Mi Cai, nourished by this love!
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