Chapter 189: Such a Confession

I dragged one hand heavily across my face and finally replied to Jian Wei’s message: “Okay, I’ll pay Ajee back when I return to Suzhou.”

Jian Wei didn’t reply to me again, though there was no real need for her to. Our relationship had ended with the truth about the guitar incident finally coming to light.

Putting the phone back into my pocket, I couldn’t help but glance behind me, even though I knew Mi Cai wouldn’t return so soon.

The wind blew, creating ripples on the lake and stirring my longing. Even though Mi Cai had only been gone a short while, I couldn’t help missing her, because my heart had already been moved by that wind.

As the seconds ticked by, I longed for her to return quickly, yet at the same time, I didn’t want her to come back too soon, because I hadn’t yet figured out how to confess my feelings.

While others strive to impress with romantic gestures when they confess their feelings, I had asked Mi Cai to buy me cigarettes. Thinking about it, I felt truly inappropriate and thought I had wronged her. At that moment, I desperately wanted to come up with a way to make up for it and properly confess my feelings.

In my anxiety, I heard footsteps approaching from the riverside. Turning around, I saw Mi Cai. In her hand was a small plastic bag, containing cigarettes and seemingly a few cans of beer.

My breathing instantly quickened as I mentally repeated, “How should I confess? How should I confess? How should I confess?”

Mi Cai drew closer and closer. I seemed to hear my heart pounding faster, losing all ability to think, only staring blankly at her.

Mi Cai came to my side and then sat cross-legged beside me, handing me the plastic bag and softly saying, “Here’s your cigarettes.”

“Thanks.”

I reached out to take the bag from Mi Cai, but in the moment our hands touched, I hesitated and failed to catch it.

Mi Cai picked up the bag again and handed it to me, asking, “Are you nervous?”

“A little… When others confess their feelings, they go all out to be romantic. Yet I still asked you to buy me cigarettes. It’s just so inappropriate!” I said, recalling how Wei Ran had declared his feelings for Mi Cai by renting out an entire cinema. Compared to that, I immediately felt inferior.

“What matters is the person confessing, not the method… Can you hurry up, please? Otherwise… I’ll get nervous too!”

“Then help me light a cigarette. Just like Popeye eating spinach, I need some strength!”

Mi Cai peeled off the plastic film from the cigarette pack, took out one, and said, “Open your mouth.”

I immediately opened my mouth. Mi Cai placed the cigarette between my lips, took out my lighter from my pocket, lit it for me, and then placed her hand back on her lap, quietly watching me.

I took a puff of the cigarette, turned my head to exhale in another direction, then looked back at Mi Cai and asked, “If I confess my feelings, will you reject me?”

“You haven’t confessed yet, so how would I know?”

“That’s true…”

I didn’t say a word until the cigarette was nearly finished, while Mi Cai remained patiently silent, not urging me further.

Finally, I crushed the cigarette in my hand, gathering up my courage. But suddenly, Mi Cai took a can of beer from the plastic bag and handed it to me, saying, “Why don’t you have another beer?”

I took the beer can from Mi Cai’s hand, asking her with confusion, “Are you nervous again?”

“…Yes!”

Suddenly, I had enough of this roundabout nervousness. A rush of blood surged to my head. I raised my hand and threw the beer can into the river, saying, “Let’s stop being nervous,” and then I pushed Mi Cai down onto the ground, pinning her beneath me. After staring at her for a second, I kissed her on the lips. At that moment, for me, this was the best confession.

Caught completely off guard, Mi Cai was kissed full on the lips by me. Her hands tightly gripped mine, her fingernails digging deeply into my flesh. I suddenly stopped, biting her lips. Mi Cai closed her eyes, tightening her fingers around mine even more, so I bit down on her lips with more pressure.

Mi Cai tightened her grip again, and I applied even more pressure. Finally, I felt her nails break the skin on my hand, but I ignored the pain, fearing I might bite her lips too hard. I quickly opened my mouth and let go, and almost simultaneously, she also released her death grip on my hand.

I moved away from Mi Cai and lay beside her, letting out a heavy breath and smiling as I said, “…I like you. I want you to be my wife and have children with me, but I only dared to imagine it. The more I imagined, the more I eventually stopped imagining altogether, because it felt like a dream—more I thought about it, less real it became…”

Mi Cai turned to her side and hugged me, whispering softly, “Zhaoyang, I want to tell you a story.”

I opened my arms to let Mi Cai rest her head on them before saying, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“There was a very beautiful flower in a garden. Passersby admired its beauty and desperately wanted to pick and possess it. But there was a gardener who always protected the flower, preventing those tourists from harming it. Every day, he watered and fertilized it, watching it bloom, feeling joy in his heart, never expecting anything in return…”

I was silent for a long time before asking, “Do you think I’m that gardener?”

“Mm… That’s why I’m willing to be the flower that only blooms for you.”

I asked myself: Was I really that gardener who had silently protected Mi Cai all along? In truth, I couldn’t be sure. At least during the time I had known Mi Cai, my heart had still been thinking of another flower. But one thing was certain: No matter how much I had given to Mi Cai, I had never expected anything in return. I was willing to silently satisfy her, protect her, and watch her be happy.

I hugged Mi Cai tighter, drawing her even closer, softly whispering in her ear, “I understand. I hope that in this world of desires, you will be my final faith. More than that, I hope I can take your hand and jump with you into that river of happiness, swimming all the way to the end!”

“You can… Ever since Fangyuan told me the truth about that incident last time, I’ve believed that you must be the person my father sent to protect me!”

I smiled and said, “You say that, and it really can explain why there have been so many coincidences between us… But, since I’ve been so devotedly protecting you, shouldn’t he pay me some salary?”

Mi Cai lightly patted me, joining in the laughter and saying, “He’s already given you his daughter, so how can you still ask for a salary?”

A wave of joy and sweetness surged through my heart as I hugged Mi Cai even tighter. At that moment, I felt I was holding Mi Cai, my girlfriend Mi Cai, not the CEO of Zhuomei who inspired awe in others.

We embraced tightly in silence. After a while, Mi Cai said to me, “Zhaoyang, from now on, besides me, you can’t think about any other woman. I don’t care about your past, but I do care about our future, and I don’t want to see misunderstandings like last time again.”

“You mean the scene on New Year’s Eve when I was holding Jian Wei in my arms?”

“Mm, CC explained it to me, and I realized it was a misunderstanding. But we can’t always rely on CC to clear up misunderstandings between us, right?”

I nodded to show Mi Cai that she could rest assured. For me, I truly should say goodbye to my past life, because at this moment, I felt genuinely fulfilled holding her in my arms, as if I had once again grasped that long-lost faith.

Another gust of wind blew past us, bringing the warmth of spring. I felt somewhat intoxicated, somewhat enchanted, wishing I could just stay in her arms forever.

Mi Cai softly asked me again, “Are you asleep?”

“No, I feel a bit drunk. This isn’t a dream, is it?”

“Let me bite you. If it hurts, then it’s not a dream!”

“Are you still holding a grudge because I bit your lips earlier? Speaking of which, you pinched me pretty hard too… Oh, I already felt the pain, so it definitely isn’t a dream!”

Mi Cai smiled, but her tone suddenly turned serious. “By the way, Zhaoyang… Next Friday is my uncle’s fiftieth birthday. There will be a banquet. Why don’t you come with me?”

I murmured silently, “Mi Zhongde’s birthday!!”

I felt very surprised and instinctively asked, “Is next Friday the eighth day of the new lunar year?”

“Yes, will you be free?”

I hesitated slightly. Even though I disliked Mi Zhongde’s character, I didn’t intend to refuse. So I joked with Mi Cai, saying, “Are you using this opportunity to take me to meet the parents?”

“…Interpret it however you like, but I hope you’ll come.”

“The event will probably be really grand, right? I’m afraid I’ll get lost among all those rich people and embarrass you!”

Mi Cai looked at me somewhat speechlessly…

“Just kidding with you. Even if it’s a mountain of knives or a sea of fire, I’m willing to brave it for you. So of course I’ll accompany you to a birthday party!”