The water in the fountain cascaded downward in waterfall fashion along the giant sculpture. The three of us—Meicai, Jianwei, and I—stood in this odd trio, looking at each other amidst the sound of flowing water, none of us breaking the silence at first.
Finally, Jianwei smiled slightly and said to me, “Long time no see, Zhaoyang.”
“Mm.” I replied with just one word, afraid that speaking more would reveal the tremble in my voice, and even more afraid that she would realize my fear.
Jianwei simply smiled at my response, then looked at Meicai and asked, “Your girlfriend?”
It was only then that I realized I was still tightly holding onto Meicai. I didn’t even bother to let go, thinking: if Meicai really were my girlfriend, it would prove that I’ve been doing quite well since our breakup years ago—at the very least, I hadn’t perished in loneliness.
Driven by this instinct not to let Jianwei see how pitifully I had been living, I nodded at her and said, “Yeah, she is my girlfriend.”
After saying that, I nervously looked at Meicai, fearing she would expose me on the spot and turn me into a laughingstock.
Meicai frowned and remained silent, as if she were willing to spare me, yet also seemed unwilling to miss this perfect opportunity for revenge.
I hurriedly whispered to Meicai, “Didn’t you say you had an urgent matter at work? Go deal with it. I’ll explain things to my friend here; they’ll understand.”
Meicai struggled free from my grasp, seemingly eager to leave. Without saying a word, she turned around and walked toward her car.
The red Q7 drove past me closely, sending a gust of air in its wake. The air itself seemed to be filled with her anger. It looked like I had really angered her.
The fountain continued to spray, but now only Jianwei and I remained at the scene. I lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, and feigned a helpless expression as I complained, “Sigh! She’s always so busy, busy all the time…”
“Is that so? But your girlfriend seems quite nice.”
“What do you mean ‘seems quite nice’? Of course she’s nice!” I straightened up indignantly, correcting Jianwei’s words.
Jianwei looked me over and after a while said, “Zhaoyang, you really haven’t changed.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Before Jianwei could answer, Xiangchen, the best man, waved at her from a distance, saying the master of ceremonies was looking for her and that there was a wedding activity needing her cooperation.
Jianwei acknowledged Xiangchen’s call, then looked at me and asked, “The luncheon is about to start. Aren’t you coming in?”
“I’ll finish my cigarette.”
Watching Jianwei walk away, I felt a deep sense of loss. I wanted to tell her: you’re right, I really haven’t changed. I still miss the days we were together. I still remember that day when I couldn’t meet your family and could only see you off from a hiding spot in the corner. I remember you crying and using lipstick to write “waiting” heavily on the car window. I watched from afar until the words “waiting” became completely blurred in my sight, until tears ran down my face that you would never see…
I was immersed in memories of the past, even wanting to rush over and hug her, telling her I still loved her. But just now, our conversation after reuniting after so long had been so pale and dull, not even qualifying as a normal friendship. I knew that those silent, joyful feelings of love had drifted further and further away from us…
If my heart were a city, at this moment, the entire city would be crying!
…
The wedding banquet began. Everyone took their seats in order. I sat with my colleagues in a somewhat back position, while Jianwei, Xiangchen, the groom, and the bride sat at the frontmost table.
I tried to resist looking at Jianwei, but couldn’t control myself. I was ridiculous. After all, how could I suppress the urge to look at a woman who had haunted my every night for the past three years of separation, when she was now only a short distance away?
My colleagues chatted with me, but I responded absentmindedly. I kept finding excuses to glance toward Jianwei. Throughout, Jianwei hadn’t even given me a single acknowledging glance, chatting frequently with Xiangchen nearby. They exchanged a few words now and then, and she would break into a warm smile. They seemed to get along very well, and Jianwei appeared to be in a good mood.
On the stage, the host encouraged Fangyuan and Yanyan to interact intimately, while the crowd roared with encouragement below. I remained silent, yet poured myself glass after glass of alcohol.
In a daze, I saw Xiangchen approaching with a glass in hand. I quickly poured myself another full glass and called out to Xiangchen as he arrived, “Brother Xiangchen, come and prostrate yourself before me!”
Xiangchen smiled and replied, “Who ends up prostrating isn’t decided yet! How many rounds are we doing this time?”
The so-called “prostration” between Xiangchen and me was a bad habit carried over from our university days. In our youthful recklessness, whenever we drank, we would always drink each other until one of us collapsed. Back then, the last one standing would arrogantly call the one who had collapsed his “grandson.” Throughout our four years at university, I had collapsed, Fangyuan had collapsed, and naturally Xiangchen had too. Thus, we alternated being each other’s “grandson” for four years, never acknowledging the other as the “grandfather”!
In fact, since entering society, I had stopped drinking foolishly like I did in university. But today, no matter who it was—Xiangchen or anyone else—if they raised a glass with me, no matter what the drink or how many rounds, I would match them. Because I felt happy for Fangyuan and Yanyan, yet pitiful for myself. Under so many mixed emotions, perhaps alcohol was indeed the best remedy.
I switched to a larger tall glass and poured it almost completely full with baijiu. Holding up my glass, I said to Xiangchen, “Same as before, one glass each. If you can’t handle it, just fall to the ground and play dead. No begging, no explanations.”
Everyone was amused by my words, laughing heartily, assuming we were just joking around. But I didn’t blink, seriously lifting my glass and finishing the entire cup in two gulps, then turning the cup upside down to show it was empty.
Amidst a chorus of astonished exclamations, everyone’s attention completely shifted from Fangyuan and Yanyan to Xiangchen and me, including Jianwei, who also turned to look this way.
“Zhaoyang, even after graduating for several years, you’re still so fierce. But I will definitely drink this one because I’m really happy today.” Xiangchen said, finishing his entire glass in one gulp, then glancing toward Jianwei.
I noticed this small detail, and a string in my heart was suddenly pulled. I understood for whom Xiangchen’s happiness was meant.
Back in university, Xiangchen and I both pursued Jianwei, but she chose me. Then he took to calling her his sister and continued to care for her meticulously. Naturally, at the time, this seemed like a gesture of letting go. But now, Jianwei and I had broken up, and she had returned to China. If she were still single, Xiangchen could now openly pursue her again.
I remained silent as Xiangchen poured another full glass of baijiu and said to me, “Little brother Zhaoyang, do me a favor, let’s have another round.”
I nodded, poured another glass of baijiu, ready to down it all at once, but Xiangchen held down my glass and said, “This time, I’ll go first.”
After saying that, Xiangchen downed the entire glass of baijiu in one go, then placed the glass on the table and walked back toward Jianwei.
Jianwei, with a tone of concern, scolded Xiangchen, “Drink a little less. Don’t you fear harming your health this way?”
“With the help of this alcohol, I want to say something from my heart to you!” After saying that, Xiangchen raised his head, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Then he borrowed the microphone from the host, his entire demeanor turning deeply affectionate as he faced Jianwei.
Suddenly, I had a premonition—what was about to happen would be enough to tear me apart!
…
The entire venue fell into complete silence. At this moment, Xiangchen’s expression was filled with sincerity, tender and emotional. He tightly held Jianwei’s hand, gazing at her for a long time before saying, “Today is a joyful occasion, a day I’ve been looking forward to for a long time… Jianwei, I have loved you deeply for five years, and my feelings have never changed. Even when you were with Zhaoyang, I never stopped loving you… At one time, I believed Zhaoyang could bring you happiness, so I chose to silently bless you both. But the reality proved your love was a failure. I won’t judge your love, because love is free. It’s meaningless for anyone to dwell on the past… Now that you’re single, I hope you can become my girlfriend. I truly am willing to give everything for you. Even if you still plan to return to the United States, I am willing to go abroad with you. In short, I will accompany you wherever you go, just like the time two years ago when I went to the U.S. to be with you! To make you happy, to give you happiness!”
My heart felt as if it had shattered in pain. Xiangchen’s words reminded me of something: a month after my breakup with Jianwei, Xiangchen indeed went abroad for a while. At the time, he hadn’t told us which country he had gone to, but now I could confirm—he had gone to the United States to be with Jianwei after her heartbreak. All these years, he had been keeping in touch with Jianwei.
Everyone was waiting for Jianwei’s response to Xiangchen, but at this moment, I suddenly understood completely: back in university, Jianwei had loved a feeling, but after graduation, she had fallen for social status and family background.
Looking at it from any angle, Xiangchen and Jianwei were the most compatible couple… I thought: perhaps I already knew the answer Jianwei was about to give Xiangchen.
Amidst the tearing pain, I seemed to see once again that day when I had seen her off, and she had cried, using her lipstick to write heavily on the car window: “waiting…”
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