The moonlight outside the window was surprisingly bright, casting through the window into the living room, making the indoor lights seem dimmer. Mi Cai’s beautiful and ethereal face, in turn, dimmed the moonlight.
I stared at her like that. Her face was full of tranquility, which made me a bit uneasy again. Perhaps my attachment to this house couldn’t move her, who seemed so “cruel.”
After a while, Mi Cai finally spoke to me, “You really love this house?”
I nodded earnestly, “Yes, very much. In this world, no one could love this unremarkable house more than me.”
Mi Cai smiled slightly, “Not necessarily.”
I looked at her in surprise, “So you are the one who loves it more than me?”
Actually, I had always been curious why Mi Cai and Old Li bought this house. Although I could imagine it as some kind of artistic behavior of the rich, the real answer was probably not as simple as I imagined.
Mi Cai didn’t answer my question. Instead, she asked me, “How long do you plan to stay?”
“Does that mean you agree?” I asked excitedly.
“Zhao Yang, can you first address the question directly?” Mi Cai said somewhat discontentedly.
I smiled and sighed, “So you do know my name!”
Mi Cai frowned again.
I chuckled awkwardly, afraid she might change her mind. I made an apologetic expression and quickly said, “I’ll answer the question first, I’ll answer the question first. I plan to stay… another month, okay?”
Mi Cai was silent for a while before finally saying, “Okay… but you have to agree to two conditions first.”
“Sure, as long as you don’t kick me out, anything is negotiable. I’ll definitely do it.” I said, patting my chest.
“Don’t be so hasty. Wait until you actually do it.” Mi Cai shot back.
I smiled awkwardly again and said, “I know you probably don’t think much of my credibility. Let’s put it this way: I’ll do my best to meet your requirements, okay?”
“Okay.” After a short pause, she continued, “First condition: you cannot go to nightclubs anymore. Can you do that?”
“Ah!” I instinctively exclaimed. I hadn’t expected Mi Cai to make such a request.
Mi Cai looked at me, waiting for my response.
Although I was puzzled about why Mi Cai made this request, considering that women’s thoughts are often unfathomable, I didn’t want to ask further. My priority was to settle down here first, so without hesitation, I nodded and said, “Yes, I can. What’s the other condition?”
“While you’re staying here, you cannot enter my room. You need to return the key to my room.”
“That’s a reasonable request.” I said, taking the key out of my pocket, finding the key to Mi Cai’s room, and placing it on the coffee table in front of her.
Mi Cai stood up from the sofa and said to me finally, “Remember what you promised me. If I find out you can’t meet even one of the conditions, you have to move out on your own.”
…
After finishing my washing up, I returned to my room. It should have been a night to settle down, after all, I could temporarily stay here, but I couldn’t help but think too much.
In four days, Fang Yuan and Yan Yan would get married. As friends who had walked this journey together, their wedding couldn’t help but stimulate me. Actually, I am not against marriage. If I could meet a woman I truly loved, I would also yearn for marriage. However, my material conditions were indeed a bit poor, and I had little to offer in a marriage, so my desire to get married could only be temporarily sealed away as an unrealistic fantasy.
I thought of Jian Wei again. On the day of Fang Yuan and Yan Yan’s wedding, we would definitely meet. If she came with her boyfriend, or if she were already married and brought her husband, would I collapse again?
I shook my head and smiled. If I really did collapse at my friend’s wedding, that breakdown would indeed be quite spectacular!
…
The next day, I arrived at the company on time, and Fang Yuan had already returned to Suzhou from Shanghai. We met by the coffee machine in the break room.
Each holding a cup of coffee, we started chatting. I asked Fang Yuan, “How did it go? Did you get the GUCCI counter project sorted out?”
Fang Yuan said with relief, “Got it sorted. Unless something unexpected happens, we can sign the contract next month.”
“Great. Having a top-tier brand like GUCCI in our department store is largely due to your efforts. Young man, your future is bright!” I said, patting Fang Yuan’s shoulder.
But Fang Yuan turned serious and said to me, “Zhao Yang, do you have any ideas about your work? I can help you negotiate with the higher-ups.”
I continued smiling, “You don’t need to worry about me. If I have any ideas, I’ll negotiate for myself.”
I know Fang Yuan is worried about me, but he himself has only been the head of the planning and copywriting team for half a year, with limited seniority, and the company’s waters run deep. Plus, our well-known friendship isn’t good for him.
“Come on, we’ve worked together for two years. When have you ever fought for yourself?” Fang Yuan’s tone showed displeasure.
I laughed carelessly, “That’s because I didn’t have any ideas. I think this is fine. At least the work is easy. Even if the sky falls, it will hit you workaholics who are scrambling to climb up first!”
Fang Yuan was speechless because of what I said. After a while, he sighed, “You really are something! Two years…”
I immediately interrupted, “Alright, no need to get sentimental. Let’s talk about yesterday. Yesterday, I accompanied your wife shopping all day. You have to compensate me for that today.”
Fang Yuan nodded, “Let’s have dinner together after work.”
As we were talking, we walked out of the break room with our half-finished coffee cups heading to the office. Just before entering the office, Fang Yuan suddenly pulled me to a stop, causing coffee to spill onto my sleeve.
“What’s wrong?” I shook off the coffee on my sleeve, asking in surprise and with some dissatisfaction. I felt that Fang Yuan was acting strangely, and I had sensed it since he suddenly asked me if I had any work-related ideas.
Fang Yuan looked at me with a piercing gaze and after a long pause, said to me, “…Jian Wei called Yan Yan last night. She was already preparing to board her flight back to China. She should arrive in Shanghai around noon today!”
I was stunned instantly, my mind went blank, and I didn’t know what emotion I should have toward this news.
Fang Yuan patted my shoulder and asked softly, “Are you going to Shanghai to see her?”
I stared for a long time before asking Fang Yuan, “Tell me, how should I go to see her? Should I go as an absurd ex-boyfriend?”
“If you feel embarrassed, just pretend I didn’t tell you. But you two will eventually meet again.”
Of course, I knew what Fang Yuan meant by eventually meeting again was at his and Yan Yan’s wedding. On that day, Jian Wei would attend, and so would I, but that kind of meeting would be just a formality, not intentional. I thought: at that time, if I could be open-minded enough, I could just treat her as a chance acquaintance, no need for greetings, no need for… heart-wrenching pain!
…
Throughout the morning, I continued to work in a distracted manner, until all my colleagues went to the cafeteria for lunch. Only then did I light a cigarette, close my eyes, lean back in my office chair, and inhale.
Amid the spreading tobacco smoke, Jian Wei’s face on the day she left kept haunting my mind. I felt some pain and confusion, yet I didn’t know how to dispel these senseless sorrows.
Two years ago, I had already realized that the pain imagined from a breakup was just meaningless self-torture. But “being low” is human nature; I would rather endure the false pain with gritted teeth than be freed from it and become enlightened.
Perhaps at this very moment, Jian Wei was comfortably enjoying an afternoon tea with her family and friends reunited, while I sat alone in an empty office, smoking and filling the surroundings with a gloomy haze.
I stubbed out the cigarette fiercely, wishing I could slap myself hard, reminding me not to be so low.
In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, only to smile bitterly. All these years of my indifference and various unconventional behaviors, looking back now, were exactly the sadness she left me with. And I had been immersed in this sadness, trapped in an inescapable past, hurting myself.
The cigarette smoke gradually dissipated. In the large office, I was still alone. The warm afternoon breeze, carrying a hint of inexplicable melancholy, blew in through the open window, just like my mood. I sat there for a while longer before feeling hungry. I put the cigarette in my pocket and prepared to go eat something.
After exiting the elevator, my phone rang. I looked and saw it was Luo Ben calling.
Answering the phone, Luo Ben apologized slightly, saying, “Zhao Yang, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I couldn’t take the blame for you.”
I laughed indifferently, “If you’re my brother, don’t say sorry. You guys are in a band; how could I let you take the blame for a bar fight? Otherwise, which bar would dare to host you for performances in the future? Besides, teaching those clueless bastards a lesson is my duty as a good young man. You guys don’t need to get involved!”
Luo Ben also laughed, “Alright then, brother, I won’t say more. By the way, there’s a fashion show at Suhe Bar tonight, all with pretty girls. I know a few of them quite well. If you come, I can introduce you to someone you might like.”
“Sure!” I almost instinctively agreed without thinking.
“Great, I’ll treat tonight. Let’s have a wild time.”
I was already walking out of the office building with the phone in hand when suddenly sunlight enveloped me, and my thoughts seemed to expand as well. I suddenly remembered that I had promised Mi Cai last night not to go to nightclubs anymore.
I stopped in my tracks, recalling my previous unreliable behaviors towards Mi Cai, and decided to be a man of my word this time…
I paused slightly before responding to Luo Ben, who was still waiting for my reply, “Oh… look at my memory, I have some personal matters tonight. I really can’t make it.”
“What kind of matter is more important than us getting together to eat, drink, and have fun?” Luo Ben joked, though he was also surprised. In his eyes, I, Zhao Yang, always treated eating, drinking, and having fun as the top priority in life.
“Matters have different levels of urgency. Let’s reschedule. I really can’t tonight.”
Luo Ben reluctantly agreed, eventually not insisting, allowing me to have a quiet evening due to keeping my promise.
After hanging up the phone, I walked along the road, greeted by the warm breeze, and was even a bit surprised by my own transformation. In fact, even if I had agreed to Luo Ben, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. With my personality, I could have easily told Mi Cai: I just attended a company gathering and had a few drinks. No matter how capable she is, she couldn’t possibly stop me from attending a legitimate company event!
But why didn’t I choose to deceive her? I was a bit confused…
After a while, I couldn’t figure it out, so I simply concluded: she was just too beautiful. For a beautiful woman, men always instinctively want to comply.
But this logic, without any basis, seemed not so convincing.
So why was it exactly?… After a long time, I still didn’t quite understand!
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