Returning to the old house Mi Cai had given me, I was enveloped by the darkness of the night with an unchanging posture, and in the quiet of the night, I couldn’t help but reflect on this evening.
Fate seems to be a peculiar thing. Le Yao was burdened with a million-yuan debt, yet in the end, Mi Cai and Jian Wei each contributed 500,000 yuan to settle her debt.
What force bound these three women together? I wasn’t entirely sure, and I knew this question would trouble me for a long time.
I thought of Xiang Chen again, his refusal, and the scene where he deliberately asked Jian Wei if she had money to lend me… Human nature suddenly seemed illusory, intangible.
A gust of wind brought a dark cloud that obscured the moonlight, making the night darker, heavier. I felt weary but gave a helpless smile, growing even more uncertain: how hypocritical must one’s smile be to blend into this real world?
At that moment, I wished to transform into a footless bird, soaring through a crystalline city, even if I couldn’t perch, even if I fell from exhaustion—at least I would have flown purely once…
After a sleepless night, I didn’t get up until 10 a.m. the next day. Just after washing up, I received a call from Le Yao. She told me that Robben had accompanied her to pay off the loan shark debt. To express her gratitude, she planned to treat us to lunch, including Mi Cai, and asked me to invite her.
After ending the call with Le Yao, I dialed Mi Cai’s number. The first call went unanswered. At 11 a.m., I tried again, and she finally picked up, her tone rushed as she asked, “What’s up, Zhaoyang?”
I quickly matched her pace and said, “Le Yao paid off her loan shark debt and wants to treat us to lunch to thank us.”
“I’m in Shanghai for a business meeting,” she replied.
“Oh, how about tonight? Are you free?”
“I have other business talks this afternoon. I might not make it back today. You guys go ahead.”
I didn’t say much more—work comes first. I only reminded Mi Cai, “Don’t overwork yourself,” before we hung up.
I stood by the window for a long time. The midday sun, shining straight down, dispelled winter’s chill. I finally moved the plants Mi Cai had been raising to the balcony, letting them bask in the sun’s warmth. Come spring, they might grow even better.
…
At noon, Le Yao, Robben, and I arrived at CC’s “Empty City” music restaurant. CC had already prepared food and drinks, and the four of us sat around the table.
CC asked me, “Zhaoyang, did you invite Mi Cai?”
“I called her. She’s in Shanghai for a meeting and can’t make it,” I replied.
CC said regretfully, “Le Yao really wanted to treat her to this meal!”
“Another time. There’ll be plenty of chances.”
Le Yao chimed in, “I’m heading to Beijing this afternoon. I might not return to Suzhou this year.”
“What, got a new role?” I asked.
Le Yao shook her head. “No, but there are more opportunities in Beijing. I’ll do my best to land a role this year.”
I sensed the bitterness in her words. Yet to make it big, going to Beijing meant drifting and loneliness, embarking on a path full of hardship. But what choice was there? People must hustle, endure, and toil to survive… Yet she was just a woman craving security. I could only silently wish her a smooth journey ahead.
Robben put his arm around Le Yao’s shoulder, comforting her. “I have plenty of music friends in Beijing. I’ll ask them to look out for you. If you run into trouble, don’t hesitate to ask—they’re good people.”
“Thanks, Robben,” Le Yao said with a smile.
“No need to be so formal. We’ve been friends for years,” Robben replied with a grin.
Le Yao nodded. CC patted my shoulder and asked, “Zhaoyang, you’re so quiet. Don’t you have anything to say to Le Yao?”
“I do,” I said, looking at Le Yao. “Take care of yourself in Beijing. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. As for the bar, I’ll help manage it well.”
CC echoed, “Yeah, Zhaoyang’s right. We’ll all help with the bar. When you come back from Beijing, we’ll have it thriving.”
Le Yao looked at us for a long time, tears welling in her eyes. Choking up, she said, “Meeting you all on this journey is my greatest fortune. Thank you… This time, I’ll work hard, for myself and for you!”
We all nodded. CC, ever the mood-lifter, raised her glass. “To our friendship! And to Le Yao—smooth sailing and a bright future!”
“Smooth sailing, bright future!”
Our glasses clinked, the wine sloshing, as if stirring up the wounds of youth, the helplessness of life, the pain of existence… and the faint hope for the future.
…
After lunch, Robben and I helped Le Yao with her luggage while CC flagged down a taxi. She’d soon take it to the airport, leaving Suzhou for Beijing, the city carrying her dreams.
Le Yao took out a bank card from her wallet—the one Jian Wei gave me yesterday. She said, “There’s 150,000 yuan left in this card. Use it as working capital for the bar.”
“Got it,” I said, accepting it.
The taxi driver urged her to hurry. Le Yao looked at us and said to me, “Zhaoyang, don’t worry. I’ll repay this million-yuan debt even if it kills me. I won’t let you owe anyone a favor.”
I frowned. “No talk of dying. We’re all going to live, and live well. Don’t stress too much about the money, okay?”
Le Yao just looked at me, took her luggage from Robben and me, and walked to the taxi.
Watching her frail figure, an inexplicable feeling stirred in me. In silence, I lit a cigarette. CC and Robben, in sync, lit their own. At that moment, I believed we shared the same emotions. In her departing silhouette, we saw the weight of life, fearing her fragile frame might not bear it.
I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and exhaled heavily… Is there truly a crystalline city in this world?
If there is, please gently cradle our weary souls.
…
Opening my eyes again, the taxi was gone from our sight. Robben, CC, and I stood in the sunlight, enduring the cutting chill of the wind.
I said to them, “It hasn’t snowed this winter, has it?”
Robben nodded, gazing north. After a long pause, he said, “I heard it snowed in Beijing… Damn, a snow that has nothing to do with me somehow covers my wounds.”
CC didn’t understand Robben’s sentiment, but I did. Mentioning “Beijing’s snow” had reminded him of the Beijing girl he couldn’t forget.
I finally smiled and said to the confused CC, “Ignore him. Folk singers are all lunatics, babbling nonsense. Let’s go back and keep drinking.”
I put my arm around CC as we walked back to the restaurant. She glanced back, and Robben, in her gaze, still looked north… At that moment, even I didn’t know what he was thinking.
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage