Chapter 141:

Emperor Jing felt extremely unwell, yet it was impossible for him to be completely unconscious.

He was not unable to speak, just unwilling to.

No one could face death calmly, and he was no exception.

Though still young, he had lived through many trials and tribulations. From plots and schemes against him in childhood, to the present day’s intrigues and power struggles, he had long become accustomed to such a life.

He had originally believed he still had time—to pave a safe path for his son, so as not to repeat the fate of his own father, who allowed his sons to fight amongst themselves, ultimately leading to a tragic end.

But how had it come to this?

“Your Majesty, let this concubine help you change clothes. There are rashes on your body which might make you uncomfortable, but please rest assured, I will be very gentle. Your clothes should be changed and washed more frequently—it will be better for your health.”

Lai Xi helped support Emperor Jing while Layue carefully lifted him, being extremely gentle. Seeing him with his eyes closed, saying nothing, Layue bit her lip. She naturally understood the emperor’s grief. Even an ordinary person would struggle to accept such a reality.

Let alone an emperor who had enjoyed the luxuries of imperial life.

Even she herself feared death immensely, but what good was fear? Since the situation had already come to this, she could only take one step at a time and deal with things as they came.

Her main priority was to properly care for the emperor.

Blisters had already appeared on Emperor Jing’s body. Layue handled him with great care, fearing that she might burst them. Zhang, the imperial physician, also assisted attentively by his side.

Once the emperor’s clothes were changed, Zhang handed a wrung-out warm towel to Shen Layue.

Layue carefully wiped the sweat from the emperor’s forehead.

After everything was tidied up, Lai Xi and Imperial Physician Zhang went to prepare the medicine in the outer room.

Though many blisters had appeared on the emperor’s body, his face remained unaffected.

Layue dressed the emperor loosely to prevent widespread infection.

Seeing the emperor still lying there expressionless, she changed the basin and used another one with warm water to clean herself.

Her long hair was tied into a simple bun, adorned only with a plain hairpin, giving her a very modest appearance.

She knew the emperor was grieving inside and unwilling to speak.

Sitting by the bed, Layue spoke cheerfully, “Today marks the fourth day. The biggest change in Your Majesty’s condition is the appearance of many blisters. Although you still have a fever, I believe it is not as severe as the first two days. Imperial Physician Zhang said that Your Majesty has a strong constitution, and as long as you hold on, everything will be fine.”

Layue did this every day, chatting with the emperor by his bedside.

How could she not be worried? If she didn’t do or say something, she feared she would break down herself.

At a time like this, she could not afford to collapse—no one else could, but especially not her.

No matter what, she had to do her utmost to care for the emperor.

Even though he showed no expression, Layue seemed to sense his desolation from his face.

It had already been four days, and Emperor Jing had not spoken a single word since the day he had arranged everything. He rarely opened his eyes or spoke, occasionally groaning in discomfort.

Layue gently traced his eyebrows and eyes with her hand. His eyelids fluttered slightly, but he remained as usual.

“Your Majesty, you must hold on. You must have faith—you can make it. Yu’er is still young and cannot bear such a heavy burden. Jiao’ao will cry if she loses you—she loves you the most. And there are Xiao Si’er and Xiao Wu’er, who still haven’t been given proper names yet! The Empress Dowager is also getting older. And then there’s this concubine—you know, I’m the most foolish one. You won’t be able to rest easy knowing we’re left behind, right?”

Thinking of the children, Layue silently wept.

Hearing her quiet sobs, Emperor Jing opened his eyes. Surprised to see him awake, Layue quickly wiped away her tears and muttered, “Your Majesty has woken up? I was just missing the children a little. Please get well soon, okay?”

Emperor Jing simply looked at her for a long moment before closing his eyes again.

“Why must you stay behind?” His voice was very low, but hearing him speak, Layue was still delighted.

“There’s no need for so many whys.”

Seeing that he had no intention of speaking further, she didn’t continue sitting beside him. Instead, she began wiping the room with vinegar.

When Lai Xi entered and saw Concubine Shen cleaning, she hurriedly tried to take over.

Layue shook her head, “Let me do it. It’s fine.”

Unable to persuade Concubine Shen, Lai Xi had no choice but to step out.

When Layue couldn’t see him anymore, Emperor Jing opened his eyes again, following her figure with his gaze.

It was as if, in doing so, he finally felt a sense of reliance.

How ridiculous—when had he, of all people, come to need reliance?

His body was in terrible pain, but he couldn’t voice it, only endure silently. Thinking back to the time he had been poisoned as a child, he remembered how he had hit his head against the wall in agony, but it had been of no help.

Layue remained unaware of the emperor’s gaze.

As she tidied up, she continued murmuring, “What names should we give Xiao Si’er and Xiao Wu’er? We can’t keep calling them by their nicknames forever. Imagine if others always addressed them by their little names—it would be so awkward. So, you must recover quickly. They are waiting for you to give them proper names.”

Layue kept saying such things, hoping they might help him regain his spirit. Just like when she had faced danger herself, it was precisely because of so many things left undone that she had refused to give up on life.

Emperor Jing might not care about parting from her, but surely he would be reluctant to leave behind those beloved children?

“After Xiao Jiao’ao grows up, let’s not marry her off to a distant place, alright? She’s our most beloved little princess. If she marries too far away, we won’t even get to see her, and it would break our hearts. We must find her the best husband right here in the capital. Oh, and if the consort ever misbehaves, you must reprimand him sternly.”

“Her Majesty the Empress Dowager’s health has worsened over the past year. If anything were to happen to you, she would be devastated. She has protected and raised you since your childhood. You wouldn’t want to make her sad, would you?”

“Hmm? Also, there are so many beautiful concubines in the palace. You haven’t even…” She trailed off, then gave a self-deprecating laugh.

Emperor Jing listened to her chatter on, repeating the same things over and over.

Of course, he understood her intentions—she feared that he might give up first.

Watching her pretend to be strong, he clenched his fists.

She didn’t know that having wandered so many times near the gates of hell, his willpower was stronger than anyone’s.

He would not give up hope of survival!

Just as she had said, he had far too many things he could not bear to leave behind.

He could not leave behind so many people, and… he could not leave her behind either!

“Your Majesty, once you recover, please don’t bring this concubine here again. I don’t know if it’s just my bad luck, but every time I come here with you, something happens. It doesn’t matter for me, but if anything were to happen to you, what would we do? There are so many people who need you.”

Emperor Jing watched Layue as she busied herself cleaning around the room.

A wave of bitterness welled up in his heart.

Even at a time like this, she still blamed herself—her so-called bad luck had nothing to do with his smallpox. If anything, it was he who had dragged her into this twice.

“Your Majesty, the medicine is ready,” Lai Xi announced from the doorway.

“Alright. Bring it in!”

After helping the emperor drink the medicine,

Imperial Physician Zhang conducted another check.

“There’s no significant change in the emperor’s condition, but no change is good news. Maintaining stability is beneficial for His Majesty.”

Layue nodded.

Late at night,

Layue curled up on a small couch nearby, watching Emperor Jing toss and turn uncomfortably. Unable to sleep, she quickly moved to his side.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, she whispered, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here—I’ve always been here. I will stay by your side.”

Layue rested her cheek against his chest.

“Step back… step away from Us.”

(Note: In historical or imperial contexts, the Chinese emperor’s self-reference “朕” is often translated as “We” or “Us” in English to convey the royal plural, maintaining the formal and authoritative tone. The phrasing also reflects the imperative nature of the command.)

Hearing him speak, Layue refused, “It’s fine. I know my limits. I’m here with you—you’re not alone.”

For some reason, a tear slid down Emperor Jing’s cheek.

Never before had anyone spoken such words to him.

Even his beloved mother had only told him to hold on, to be strong and not show weakness. She had never held him like this, never comforted him by saying, “You’re not alone.”

She was merely a sixteen-year-old girl, still youthful despite having given birth, yet at this moment, she was so strong.

Seeing her feigning strength, for some reason, Emperor Jing recalled that day at the cliffside when she had shouted, “Hold on! We must both survive!” He remembered the blood dripping endlessly.

His heart tightened. Looking at her carefully,

He realized she had been with him for three years now. From her youthful innocence to the present, truthfully, he could barely remember their first meeting. But during these days spent lying here, watching her bustling around him, persistently speaking of things that would keep him attached to life, rarely mentioning herself while constantly talking about the children and the Empress Dowager,

Emperor Jing found that the scenes of their three years together were becoming increasingly clear—every smile, every glance of hers, vivid in his mind.

She wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the palace, but from the very beginning, she had made him feel at ease. It was precisely because of this comfort and her playful attempts at cleverness that he had continued to favor her all these years.

Many women in the palace claimed to love him.

But how many would shout at him to hold on and grab his leg in a life-or-death moment? How many would insist on caring for him knowing it was a deadly infectious disease? None, truly.

Perhaps others might pretend, but considering the emperor had said he would send them back to the palace if anything happened, he thought—others, like Fu Jinxiu, Virtuous Consort, Bai Youran, Qi Consort… those who had children or had once had children, would likely choose to abandon him.

After all, in moments of life and death, everyone believes their own life is the most precious.

Perhaps they truly loved him, but wasn’t it also because of the power and favor that came with that love?

Layue—only his little Layue was different.

His heart ached terribly. At this vulnerable moment, he knew his emotions were slipping beyond control.

He raised his hand to touch her face, but upon seeing how terrible his own hand looked, covered in blisters,

He dejectedly let it fall back down.