“I truly wish to be different from those women, but if I were to marry into the royal family and become just another one of your many rules, there would be no difference left. To survive, I’d become someone I no longer recognize, confined to a single courtyard until I grow old and die.”
Qi Biao’s heart was in turmoil at this moment. Lin Fang, Lin Wen, Lin Wu, and Dalang—these four figures flashed through his mind in succession. The other three were all men of the Lin family who held Lin Fang dear to their hearts. Every word they spoke, whether heard firsthand or reported by spies, struck Qi Biao’s heart like a hammer, especially Lin Fang’s final words, which seemed to seal his fate, sinking his heart to its lowest point.
“Once this matter is settled, I wish to travel. Fang’er once said that reading ten thousand books is not as good as traveling ten thousand miles. If my sister’s health permits, I’ll take her with me. She has two great wishes in life: one is to travel across the magnificent landscapes, and the other is to establish schools for girls everywhere. She wants women to have the same opportunities as men—to read, to gain knowledge, to act according to their own desires, and to achieve their own accomplishments, rather than being confined to a single place for their entire lives, merely as appendages to their husbands.”
“Yi Ge, Fang’er is selfish. Fang’er only wants to live an ordinary life—teaching, earning money, and sleeping in. As the saying goes, ‘counting money until your fingers cramp and waking up naturally from sleep’—that would be enough for this lifetime. Teaching is my passion, earning money is a necessity of life and also a joy. If I have the chance to travel and appreciate the customs and scenery of different places, that would be the icing on the cake, fulfilling Fang’er’s lifelong wish and making her time in this world worthwhile.”
“As her elder brother, I want to do my best to help my sister fulfill her wishes. The latter wish, given my current abilities, may be beyond my reach, but I’ll do what I can to help her achieve the former. In a few months, my sister will turn sixteen. If we delay any longer, once she marries and has children, her wishes may become regrets.”
“In other families, a sixteen-year-old girl would already be married with children, but Fang’er shows little interest in marriage. Many eligible suitors have come to propose, but she has refused them all. She says she hasn’t accomplished anything yet and doesn’t want to be tied down by trivial matters too soon. But a woman’s youth cannot be wasted. Once this matter is settled, I’ll take her traveling, so she’ll have fewer regrets in life.”
“I don’t care what the consequences are for disrupting the court. My sister disappeared in your residence, and our family is devastated. If you don’t find her for me, I’ll make sure you never have peace, even if it costs me my life. If I die, you’ll die with me.”
“Mother dresses plainly, but most of the clothes she makes for my sister are red. Even if the clothes are of other colors, the trimmings or embroidered flowers always include red. Mother says my sister is still young and was born weak, with little resistance to evil forces, and that bright red can ward off evil.”
“What about my sister? She’s just a little girl, barely ever left home, and has been frail since childhood, hovering between life and death several times. Surviving has been hard enough, and now she’s suffering somewhere unknown.”
“Your aunt and I are growing old. This is how our lives will be. You, Wen’er, and Wu’er—as men, you must have the aspirations of men. Whatever paths you choose in the future, as long as it’s what you truly want, we’ll support you wholeheartedly. As for Fang’er, though she’s clever, her health is poor. Your aunt and I will spend our lives watching over her.”
“There’s nothing wrong with serving a husband and raising children, but if it means being confined to a single courtyard for life, I’d rather not marry.”
Lin Fang had said this when she was only eight years old. Such shocking words from such a small girl—it turned out the child he’d watched grow up was indeed different from other women. Counting money until her fingers cramp? Waking up naturally from sleep? The royal family has wealth, but what good is money to women trapped in the depths of the palace? His own mother, who commanded the Qi family’s hidden guards, was feared even by the royal family.
His mother’s dowry was worth half a prince’s estate—truly wealthy and powerful—yet in the end, she was killed by another woman sharing the same husband. He and his eighth sister were born as casualties of women’s schemes. His eighth sister was even more unfortunate, losing her life at a young age. How many women and children have died unjustly in the prince’s residence? Even the current emperor, his uncle, has countless concubines but not a single surviving child. Now, his uncle is advanced in years with no heir.
Fang’er—the Fang’er he’d been waiting to grow up, the simple and kind-hearted Fang’er, the one whose intelligence influenced her family, her town, and even scholars of the court, the one who made him relive the warmth of childhood and no longer feel life was as cold as ice, the little one whose organs were failing but remained optimistic even in his arms, the one who barely survived—how could she endure life in the palace? How could he bear to make her suffer?
At this moment, Qi Biao deeply realized that Lin Fang had grown into his heart, and it would be hard to remove her—nor did he want to. He would cherish her instead.
Having sorted out his thoughts, Qi Biao felt lighter, but then his brow furrowed again.
“Right now, you’re Fang’er’s Yi Ge alone, but in the future, who knows how many women’s Yi Ge you’ll be. Fang’er believes your words now, but there’s also the phrase ‘forced by circumstances.’ As a member of the royal family, you must consider the bigger picture. How can you act as you please? Rather than facing mutual hardship and pain later, it’s better not to start now.”
“Yi Ge, Fang’er is selfish. Fang’er only wants to live an ordinary life—teaching, earning money, and sleeping in. As the saying goes, ‘counting money until your fingers cramp and waking up naturally from sleep’—that would be enough for this lifetime. Teaching is my passion, earning money is a necessity of life and also a joy. If I have the chance to travel and appreciate the customs and scenery of different places, that would be the icing on the cake, fulfilling Fang’er’s lifelong wish and making her time in this world worthwhile.”
Fang’er, in this life, I only want to be your Yi Ge. I’ll fulfill your wishes. I won’t let Lin Wen get ahead of me. But why could you say such decisive words without hesitation? What place do I hold in your heart?
Having sorted out his thoughts and wandered outside for a while, Qi Biao had just stepped into the courtyard when Lin Fang greeted him with a smile, stretching out her small hand like a child asking for candy. “Yi Ge, you’re back. Did you dig up any guben?”
There was no trace of the decisiveness from their earlier conversation, which left Qi Biao feeling uneasy. The little girl had indeed grown up—no longer wearing her emotions on her sleeve as she did in childhood, when her thoughts were easy to guess.
A large hand emerged from the cloak, holding a handful of guben. As Lin Fang reached out with both hands to take it, Qi Biao pulled back and instead brushed her small hand with his other hand, finding it not too cold. “Don’t dirty your hands,” he said before heading to the kitchen to have the guben washed by his attendant, warmth blooming in his chest.
It seemed Fang’er had already prepared the excuse of digging guben in advance. His Fang’er knew him well—that he liked sweets whether happy or troubled, and that guben was the sweetest thing around here. He would surely dig some up to avoid suspicion about why they’d gone out together but only she returned.
Lin Fang had indeed used Qi Biao’s guben-digging as an excuse, but she hadn’t expected him to actually bring some back. After Qi Biao entered the kitchen, she paused briefly before returning to her room to retrieve a small dagger from her bag.
Since Qi Biao’s arrival, he’d stored her dagger, throwing needles, and flying needles in her small bag, insisting she rest at home while he and his attendants handled everything. Now that she knew his identity and confirmed their incompatibility, Lin Fang decided she could no longer rely on him. She would have to depend on herself from now on.
Fastening the dagger to her belt, Lin Fang put on a thick coat and headed to the storage room next to the kitchen. Moments later, she emerged with a basket on her back, habitually stopping at the kitchen door to inform Aunt Liu before walking out of the courtyard.
Qi Biao, chewing on guben, rushed out of the kitchen and blocked her path with a few quick strides. “Where are you going?” he asked sternly.
The usually obedient Lin Fang had suddenly become so self-willed, which irked Qi Biao. He’d almost forgotten that despite her outwardly docile and accommodating demeanor since childhood, she’d always been strong-willed. Once she had an idea, she’d carry it out in her own way. Now, wanting to go out without consulting him and refusing to rely on him—this was simply her nature.
Stopped by this tall, dark figure, Lin Fang had no choice but to halt. She smiled and said, “Oh, I wanted to pick some wild hawthorns and dig up more guben to make sugar. Since it’s Minor New Year today, I thought I’d make some candied haws to liven up the festivities. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that sweet-and-sour treat.”
Lin Fang had loved sweet-and-sour foods since childhood, something Qi Biao knew well. While digging guben earlier, he’d seen the hawthorns—sparse, shriveled, and pitifully small, hardly worth mentioning. Frowning, he said, “How can those wild hawthorns be eaten?”
“Hehe, it’s fine,” Lin Fang said, her large eyes curving into crescents. “Though the hawthorns are shriveled and ugly, they’re not spoiled. Soaking them in water will plump them up a bit, and they’ll still make decent candied haws. Besides, in times and places like these, we can’t afford to be picky. Something is better than nothing.”
Qi Biao remained silent, still frowning. Lin Fang stepped around him and continued toward the courtyard gate, calling over her shoulder, “It’s Minor New Year today, and all the food prepared is meat. Aunt Liu is too old to chew it well, so I’ll see if there are any fresh eggs to steam her an egg custard.”
Seeing that Qi Biao didn’t follow, Lin Fang felt a pang of disappointment but also relief. She quickened her pace toward the area with wild hawthorn trees, where guben was plentiful and there were many nests of egg-laying hens.
Setting down her basket, Lin Fang crouched to dig up guben first, intending to use it as padding at the bottom of the basket to protect the eggs from breaking.
Once she’d gathered enough guben for padding, she stood and carried it back to her basket, only to find it already a quarter full of hawthorns. Looking up, she saw Qi Biao plucking larger hawthorns from the higher branches of a distant tree. Despite his tall stature, his movements were light and soundless. Lin Fang watched, momentarily entranced.
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