Half an hour later.
Jiang Ran sat cross-legged on the sofa of an apartment in the same complex, the neighboring unit, and on the same floor, her expression solemn, like a murderer caught red-handed and awaiting the judge’s gavel for sentencing.
On another sofa directly opposite her sat Qiu Nian and Li Xingnan side by side.
Qiu Nian calmly met Jiang Ran’s gaze, though neither spoke a word.
Li Xingnan had one arm draped over Qiu Nian’s shoulder, lazily scrolling on his phone.
From Li Xingnan’s phone, sounds from short video clips kept changing—judging from the voiceovers, they were skiing-related videos, car-related ones, or international news…
How could a man be so incredibly boring?
When Jiang Ran finally couldn’t take it anymore and snapped, “What does the pound-to-dollar exchange rate dropping below one have to do with you? Are you listening so intently because your savings are in pounds or something?” he looked up and smiled at her—uncharacteristically indulgent.
Jiang Ran: “?”
She turned her questioning gaze toward Qiu Nian, silently asking what that smile meant.
Qiu Nian: “Probably the same expression he used to give me back when I was pregnant, hormonal, and got mad at him because the full moon on the fifteenth wasn’t round enough.”
Jiang Ran: “……”
Finally, Li Xingnan mercifully exited the annoying short video app, only to find an even more annoying pastime—he opened the Meituan Takeout app and began periodically updating Jiang Ran, who was already on edge:
“The rider is 1.3 km away, estimated arrival in ten minutes.”
“The rider is 800 meters away, estimated arrival in five minutes.”
“The rider is 200 meters away, probably entering the underground garage.”
As Jiang Ran was about to sincerely suggest he just reopen the short video app and check out the UK’s economy and people’s livelihood instead, he paused and said, “Ah, the rider’s downstairs now.”
Sure enough, the doorbell rang.
Jiang Ran instinctively paled and started to get up, but she saw her usually lazy and unfriendly friend Li Xingnan, for once, enthusiastically and politely smile at her, toss his phone aside, and stand up: “I’ll get it. You—might not be very comfortable.”
Jiang Ran: “……”
She almost wanted to tear his face off—this man who rarely smiled looked genuinely annoying when he did!
As Li Xingnan stood up, Jiang Ran unhesitatingly grabbed the nearby pillow and hurled it at him, “Cut that smile, Li Xingnan! You look so gross when you smile! God, I don’t even know what you’re so happy about! Who sees that smile and doesn’t think you’re the one who knocked me up! Why don’t you try smiling like that in front of Beijiao and see if he doesn’t kill you!”
At the mention of “Beijiao,” Jiang Ran involuntarily shuddered.
Right now, she really didn’t want to bring up that name.
Li Xingnan easily caught the pillow aimed at his face and instead tucked it behind Qiu Nian’s back—to support her waist, which was burdened by her large belly. Satisfied, he straightened up.
“Have you ever considered that I’m smiling so much because you look like you’re facing a life-or-death situation? If you keep acting like you’re scared just hearing the dog’s name, I can’t promise I won’t smile even more.”
Li Xingnan said lazily, then paused and said something almost human:
“Relax a bit, Jiang Ran.”
Although technically, that was just useless advice.
Jiang Ran angrily kicked the armrest of the sofa.
Li Xingnan went to open the door.
A few minutes later, he returned from the Meituan rider with a paper bag.
He handed it to Jiang Ran and casually asked, “Know how to use it?” He received a fierce snatching motion and a fierce glare in response.
Li Xingnan looked at his now-empty hand, sat back down next to Qiu Nian, sighed—and Jiang Ran immediately felt like he was about to be annoying again.
Sure enough, he said, “You should send the rider a red envelope. After all, it’s such a happy occasion, and it’s not common.”
Jiang Ran: “……”
Jiang Ran: “Shut up, Li Xingnan!”
Jiang Ran: “I should’ve known your eyes are like an ultrasound machine—you could’ve just looked into my belly and told me if it’s a baby or constipation. Then I wouldn’t have wasted money on pregnancy tests!”
That meant she was really mad.
Otherwise, even if Jiang Ran’s leg were broken, she’d never admit that a fairy like her could be associated with something unrefined like constipation. Ask her, and she’d say she doesn’t have constipation—fairies grow on dew, and even their farts smell like roses!
Li Xingnan: “You’re just being stubborn. The bathroom is over there.”
Jiang Ran stomped toward the bathroom in her slippers, as if trying to break the wooden floorboards.
The bathroom door slammed open and shut again.
The earth-shattering sound made the window frames in the living room tremble.
Qiu Nian shrugged her shoulders, blinked blankly, and lightly hit the man beside her, “Why do you always tease her like that? She’s all worked up. I didn’t even tell her how to use the pregnancy test yet… Oh, stop smiling!”
“She doesn’t need it,” Li Xingnan leaned closer, burying his face into Qiu Nian’s neck. “She’ll be just like you—lock the door, sit on the toilet reading the instructions, temporarily lose her reading comprehension ability, and stare at those few lines for five or six times before finally understanding what they mean…”
As he spoke, his nose gently slid down her pale, smooth neck.
Because of her late-stage pregnancy and her big belly, Qiu Nian had become increasingly inactive. If it weren’t for Jiang Ran dragging her out to move around, she could probably stay in bed 24/7 without ever seeing sunlight—which made her even paler, glowing with a pinkish hue.
She’d also gained weight, soft and squishy like a rice ball.
Li Xingnan even thought he was a bit perverted.
At this moment, he just wanted to cling to Qiu Nian like any kind of accessory, as long as he didn’t have to separate from her—ready to be embedded into her body at any time.
His nose finally came to rest on her throat, gently nudging.
“So why exactly are you so happy?”
Qiu Nian gently stroked the back of his neck.
“Hmm?” Li Xingnan said, “I thought you’d be happier if you had someone else with you? Like on your due date, Jiang Ran could go with you to register at the hospital—”
That sounded as convincing as someone claiming they knelt in front of a Buddha to pray for world peace.
They might have prayed for that.
But definitely not only that.
Qiu Nian didn’t buy his nonsense. She grabbed his hair and pushed his head back—a silent refusal he perfectly understood. Reluctantly, he kissed her soft cheek.
“Fine. I was thinking that if Jiang Ran is there, when we actually go into the delivery room, you won’t try to scare me by saying things like you’ve already seen the King of Hell’s palace or that your late grandma is standing at the foot of the bed telling you to go with her.”
“……”
He really knew her well.
She had even specially written those lines in her phone’s notes app, adding a few more lines from time to time, just preparing to copy and paste them to him when she was in the delivery room, in pain and bored.
Something like, “If I’m suffering, you won’t get off easy either…”
Mutual joy?
Unfortunately, plans often change. About ten minutes ago, during that tense and silent eye contact with Jiang Ran, Qiu Nian had already considered abandoning this plan: if Jiang Ran was also pregnant, giving birth would suddenly become an educational task. Judging from this woman’s psychological resilience, she’d probably scare the hell out of her with just one more word.
Qiu Nian sighed, “That’s it? Anything else?”
“Nothing.”
“Li Xingnan.”
“……I was thinking that at least Huangbao could stay in the next room for half a year. At first, I felt a little guilty, thinking maybe I was being a bit uncouth. But now, no need to feel guilty anymore. After all, for the next six months, Beijiao won’t be able to do anything anyway. Why not let the poor little dog stay there? Then at least one of us can sleep properly in a bed.”
As he spoke, Li Xingnan couldn’t help but smile sincerely again.
“Better you than me—heard of that saying?”
“……”
Qiu Nian was actually convinced by his final words and patted his back.
“You two brothers really are equally dog-like.”
“Lastly.”
“……There’s more?”
“I finally have someone else to taste the bitterness I’ve gone through. Jiang Ran won’t just cry about the fifteenth’s moon not being round enough—she’ll complain about the remaining twenty-nine days’ moons not being round enough either.”
“……”
“Dogs are doomed!” Li Xingnan sighed with satisfaction, “How can one not be delighted?”
…
Meanwhile, the dog was indeed doomed.
Beijiao had been restless all morning.
His colleagues in the lab had already noticed.
The specific behavior was that he had been buried in organizing documents since entering the lab, barely speaking to anyone.
Right now, he would say one word if you asked him something, never two. Either “Hmm,” “Okay,” or “Fine.”
Or he’d shoot you a glare, then the next second, the person asking would see him push the computer aside, put on gloves, and with a sharp, clean motion, open up a rabbit’s abdominal cavity, pointing out the answer to your question with the air of someone saying, “If your eyesight is bad, go get glasses; if your brain’s bad, take some Brain Gold.”
Impressive, yes.
But the impatience toward perceived stupidity was seriously damaging to people’s self-esteem.
The professor and elderly retired instructor, who was in his sixties, initially watched with amusement from the side. But after five victims had been created and were enough to form a “medical student’s daily heartbreak” team, he finally couldn’t help but say: “Your senior Beijiao is in a bad mood today. Why don’t you ask me if you have any questions?”
Everyone thought Beijiao must have encountered some life dilemma—like his future father-in-law telling him to give up medicine and return to inherit a hundred billion family fortune.
When the professor finally led the question, Beijiao gave a rare long answer: “No, it’s just that this morning, my wife had a nightmare. I’m wondering what she dreamed about that made her so sad?”
“?”
“So annoying,” Beijiao said. “Why hasn’t she called me yet? I even hinted that she should call me before I left.”
The retired professor in his sixties looked bewildered.
The younger generation all had the “old man on the subway looking at a phone” expression.
Beijiao, now a resident doctor, had gone to Beijing for postgraduate studies, then returned to intern and continue his studies at the hospital affiliated with his undergraduate university. When he was seriously considering pursuing a Ph.D., the professor kept pulling him back to mentor the younger students…
To his former junior classmates, Beijiao’s impressive resume was already that of a life winner—
Except that he married young, never took off his wedding ring, and his wife’s identity was mysterious, rarely showing her face.
…They were envious, of course—after all, a man who’s successful, handsome, and physiologically allergic to other women.
Until a month or so ago, they saw their senior on global live TV presenting an Olympic champion with a large, expensive diamond ring.
The life winner instantly became a surreal life winner.
Few people could reach the pinnacle of their careers, only to turn around and find out that their wife was even more impressive—
The eldest daughter of the famous old money Jiang family from Guangdong, with a century-old legacy. She was beautiful, popular, had a bit of a temper but hadn’t done too many unforgivable things (basically, all her misdeeds were directed at her current husband), and in the skiing world, she had no scandals, no black marks—everyone spoke highly of her…
And then she won an Olympic gold medal.
In short, nowadays, any junior who knows Beijiao no longer reads novels much—because no novel is as entertaining as the rise of Beijiao and his wife.
Extreme sports, wealthy families, dramatic twists, inspirational stories, sweet romance, perfect matches—all included…
Oh.
And it’s a May-December romance.
—Everyone knows Beijiao is fierce, few words, and sharp in his profession, few know he’s a hopeless romantic at home.
Until yesterday, when they saw the champion sister’s short video account and saw the senior arguing with a dog, they suspected he had been possessed. Now they realize…
Case closed.
No one possessed him; he’s just that kind of person—
His wife is the sky, his wife is the earth, she is the lightning and the light, the sole meaning of his existence.
Beijiao didn’t even try to hide it.
He didn’t care at all.
Like right now, he had just complained about his wife being indifferent and not calling him, then turned to see his phone screen light up—
His eyes instantly became brighter than the phone screen. He immediately threw the rabbit-blood-stained tools back into the tray, started taking off his gloves, and his upper body leaned toward the phone in eager anticipation.
At that moment, an unfortunate little fool shouted, “Senior!” holding up his hands: “Come take a look, this rabbit’s thyroid seems a bit unusual—”
Beijiao frowned, clicked his tongue, pulled off half the glove, then put it back on.
The junior, sensing he’d done something wrong, shrank his neck. Meanwhile, Beijiao picked up a scalpel, opened the rabbit’s already dissected abdominal cavity, lowered his gaze, and while examining the rabbit’s organs, said without looking up: “Read.”
Junior: “Huh?”
Beijiao, still focused on organizing the poor rabbit’s organs, didn’t lift his head: “Check my phone. What did my wife say?”
The little idiot junior said “Oh” and picked up Beijiao’s phone. A new message was openly displayed on the screen, so he read it out loud: “‘Honey, actually I dreamed about our son yesterday.'”
As soon as he finished reading, the previously existing whispers and academic discussions in the lab suddenly stopped, followed by a loud “slap” sound.
Looking up, they saw that under the cold, elegant, and noble senior’s hand, the poor rabbit’s head had been cleanly and efficiently severed.
At this moment, the culprit was holding a sharp scalpel in one hand and the rabbit’s head in the other, turning around to look at him with a confused expression.
…
Jiang Ran indeed was sitting on the toilet seat.
The only difference from Li Xingnan’s guess was that she wasn’t struggling to read the instructions. Instead, she was playing on her phone, chatting with everyone she could in WeChat.
Unfortunately, the person who usually enjoyed chatting with her the most was sitting right outside the door. If she chatted with her now, she would definitely be scolded, so eventually, with nothing else to talk about, she ended up bothering Beijiao—
After all, he had implied this morning that she could bother him.
Jiang Ran wanted to subtly hint around and lay the groundwork for the possible fate-changing event that might come next.
Holding her phone, she was even a bit nervous, wondering what he would say.
Unexpectedly, after two minutes, he replied with just a punctuation mark: ?
Extremely cold.
Jiang Ran: “… …”
What’s going on? Is this guy not willing to take responsibility or does he not want a son? Didn’t we agree (well, not really) to start this baby project without a human heir’s safety bag? How come at the last moment he suddenly doesn’t want to face reality anymore? Are all men like this? They only care about the immediate pleasure and then deny everything when there’s a real consequence?!
【My Darling: What do you mean, you don’t want a son?】
She was already angry, and now he’d better send her a video of himself kowtowing and apologizing immediately.
But today, Beijiao was being particularly aloof.
He replied with two cold words: No.
Jiang Ran took a deep breath, furious to the point her scalp tingled.
【My Darling: Don’t come home today. Sleep on the street.】
See? Even the sentence ended with a cold period instead of an emotional exclamation mark.
…
When Beijiao heard that Jiang Ran told him to sleep on the street, he felt puzzled, wondering what he had done wrong again?
Putting down the work in his hand, he gestured to the little idiot junior to come over and show him the chat history.
It looked roughly like this——
【My Darling: Honey, actually I dreamed about our son yesterday.】
【My Duck: ?】
【My Darling: ?】
【My Darling: What do you mean, you don’t want a son?】
【My Duck: No.】
【My Darling: Don’t come home today. Sleep on the street.】
Beijiao: “… …”
He calmly looked over the phone screen, gazed at the junior behind who was holding the phone screen, paused for a moment, and then asked in confusion: “Was my original message like this? Some kind of AI translator?”
The junior: “… …”
Recreating the previous scene, what he actually said was——
“Ask her what’s wrong, why she suddenly dreamed about this.”
Beijiao imagined the dialogue: What’s wrong, why did you suddenly dream about this? Does our son look good? If he looks like you, he definitely won’t be ugly. And if he looks like me, he won’t be too bad either. Tell me more?
The signal received by the junior: I’m at work, why are you talking nonsense? I’m being nice and giving you a question mark, just continue talking yourself.
“What do you mean, am I saying I don’t want a son?”
Beijiao envisioned the conversation: What’s running through your mind? Pondering all sorts of random things like sons or daughters. Of course we want one, don’t we? How about me taking care of the baby all day—changing diapers and lulling them to sleep? Who said I don’t want one? I truly do.
The signal received by the junior: Did I say I don’t want one? Don’t bother me.
That’s it.
Due to Beijiao’s concise and straightforward character being too deeply ingrained, the junior naturally simulated his persona, resulting in this cold dialogue.
Beijiao didn’t know what to say, so he asked him to scroll up a bit on the chat history.
The junior complied, and then saw that in the past conversations, Beijiao’s proactive messages looked like this——
【My Duck: Honey, I’m off work.】
【My Duck: Honey, I’m on my way home. Checked the navigation, traffic is terrible today QAQ.】
【My Duck: Maybe we should take the subway tomorrow. I want to get home early and keep you company!】
【My Duck: Picture】
【My Duck: Look, there’s a stray cat on the roof of our car. It looks a lot like you.】
【My Duck: Want a cat? I can catch it for you.】
【My Duck: Where are you, where are you, where are you!】
【My Duck: I’m driving.】
【My Duck: Have you and Qiu Nian finished dinner? Don’t run around after finishing. Should I come pick you up?】
Amidst such a sea of green messages, there were occasional replies from the other side like 【Don’t bother me】,【Drive safely, don’t play with your phone】,【I’ll be back soon】,【Got it】,【Oh】 and 【Hmm】.
Junior: “… …”
Junior: “Make a voice call, senior. I should apologize to your senior sister—”
Beijiao thought that was okay. After all, people have mouths to clarify things. So he made a voice call. The other side answered quickly, and a fierce “Hello!” came through. Startled, Beijiao pursed his lips and stared emotionlessly at the culprit.
The junior’s body trembled: “Hello? Senior sister, I’m Wang Qin, a lab mate of Senior Beijiao. I’m really sorry, ah ah, Senior didn’t mean that! Those seemingly outrageous words were all typed by me—”
Jiang Ran: “What do you mean? Does he now need someone else to reply to my WeChat messages for him?”
Beijiao: “Hmm? No, I just had my hands full…”
Jiang Ran: “If you don’t want to reply, just say so. Why did you tell me this morning to call you if anything came up, and then later you couldn’t even be bothered to reply to a WeChat message and had someone else do it for you? Why didn’t you have someone else marry me too?”
Before Beijiao could even say “Ah,” the call was abruptly hung up.
The lab fell into a deathly silence.
The professor checked his watch and sympathetically said, “Well, I guess that’s about it for today. Why don’t you go home and check on things?”
Beijiao didn’t hesitate much before taking off his plastic gloves. After a moment’s thought, he said, “Ask Zhang Liang to leave the door to my dorm open. I might end up sleeping there tonight.”
The professor: “… …”
The professor said, “As a man, you should still be confident and straightforward—if you haven’t done anything wrong.”
Beijiao: “…I can’t be that bold.”
The senior and unapproachable ice mountain in the eyes of his juniors sighed.
Beijiao: “She’s so scary. I’m afraid.”
…
On his way home, Beijiao had no idea that a mysterious fire had broken out in his backyard.
The arsonist was already sitting on the toilet, imagining an entire book titled “Millionaire Mommy Runs Away with the Baby” filled with tales of high society drama and romance. The story’s theme was quite innovative, combining the currently popular genres of “spoiled son-in-law” and “dominant CEO” stories.
The first chapter began with their airport reunion years later. The cold-hearted, world-famous surgeon had just finished operating on the U.S. president and was giving an interview in the middle of a crowd of reporters… when he looked up and saw a woman holding a child’s hand, walking past him with her head held high and eyes straight ahead.
The spoiled son-in-law thought: Woman, your proud attitude has caught my attention.
Just then, he noticed that the child indeed looked a lot like him. The child who looked exactly like him tugged on the beautiful, still-young woman’s hand and said: “Mommy, are we going directly to the cemetery to pay respects to Daddy?”
Jiang Ran: “… …”
She felt both awkward and thrilling to the point of curling her toes.
In the harmonious atmosphere of “Daddy has been dead for many years,” Jiang Ran calmly opened the pregnancy test kit box, quickly skimmed through the instruction manual, and finished the three-minute procedure.
While waiting, she looked up at the bathroom ceiling and continued imagining her “Millionaire Mommy Runs Away with the Baby.”
Her imagination took her to a Michelin-starred restaurant where the spoiled son-in-law caught the female CEO red-handed during a blind date, intending to start a new romance. Furious, he said in a low voice, “Jiang Ran, how dare you,” and then pinned her against the wall and kissed her—
At this moment, someone knocked on the bathroom door.
“Jiang Ran.”
The same deep, magnetic male voice from her imagined story came from outside the door.
“Open the door.”
Sitting on the toilet, Jiang Ran reached over to grab the pregnancy test stick she had thrown aside, looked at the two lines on it, and thought somewhat bewilderedly—
What does this mean? The baby is still in my belly, and now it’s fast-forwarding straight to being pinned against the wall and kissed?
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