No one was more infuriated by this than Feng Yuemian. Watching Cen Wuwang take first place yet again while he was left trailing pitifully at the bottom was unbearable for Feng Yuemian.
If this continued, he would miss out on the Five-Colored Divine Feather.
He, who had been born with a grand destiny—birds paying homage to the phoenix, colorful clouds descending, and celestial phenomena heralding his arrival—was clearly meant for greatness. Yet, in terms of strength, he was beaten by Qiuqiu; in intellect, he was outplayed by Cangwu; and in the East Sea, he couldn’t even compete with a mere storyteller when it came to charm!
Seeing Feng Yuemian’s unsettled expression, a subordinate hurried to cheer him up. “Your Majesty is already amazing. Look, you still advanced this time.”
“Exactly,” another flatterer chimed in. “It’s not that Your Majesty isn’t good—it’s just that the enemies are too shameless.”
Only the bald chicken took a different approach. “Your Majesty, should we ask the Valley Master for help? After all, the demon realm is one family, and protection is everyone’s responsibility. Besides, the Valley Master is quite clever…”
Before he could finish, Feng Yuemian flared his wings and smacked him into the wall, where he stuck like glue.
“Ridiculous! As the noble Phoenix King, how could I bow to a mere roadside tree?”
Feng Yuemian truly despised Cangwu. What kind of creature lived for thousands of years like a turtle? Cangwu’s age alone was enough to make even a turtle feel crowded. He only dominated the demon realm because he was old and had nurtured countless little creatures.
The most infuriating part? Cangwu was a plant spirit—inedible. Even Qiuqiu would find him tasteless.
And speaking of Qiuqiu, she loved chicken wings.
The mere thought made Feng Yuemian seethe. Both he and Cangwu had been defeated by Qiuqiu, yet Cangwu became a nursemaid while he was relegated to emergency rations.
He wanted to be a nursemaid too!
Suppressing his subordinates’ misguided enthusiasm, Feng Yuemian’s thoughts turned to Xue Ying, Cen Wuwang’s rumored girlfriend.
Honestly speaking, Feng Yuemian—Phoenix King, noble birth, skilled in song and dance, versatile, charming, and even capable of cooking—was a hundred times better than that Cen Wuwang.
Plus, with Yan Zhi already playing the role of a lovestruck fool, Feng Yuemian doubted Xue Ying was into women.
If he could steal Cen Wuwang’s girl…
Feng Yuemian’s imagination ran wild. You have your history of cuckoldry; I’ll have my dramatic love triangle. Let’s settle it on stage.
Love stories? He could do those too!
With his goal set, Feng Yuemian scanned his quivering subordinates. “I intend to win over the Sword Immortal’s disciple. Any brilliant ideas?”
One immediately raised his hand. “I have a treasure to offer Your Majesty.”
Feng Yuemian took it—*My Junior Sister Can’t Be This Cute*, by Qing Yu’an.
The subordinate boasted, “This book is a bestseller across the Three Realms. It must have something extraordinary. We can learn from its tactics to win over the Sword Immortal’s disciple.”
Feng Yuemian hesitated. “But this is about childhood sweethearts…”
He and Xue Ying were strangers. Where was the childhood connection?
“Breakups come in all forms, but sweet love is universal. With the right moves, nothing is impossible!”
Feng Yuemian considered it. He had seen Xue Ying at Yunmeng Lake. Given her fondness for raising raptors and her relentless pursuit of demonic cultivators, he pegged her as a kind, righteous sword cultivator—gentle and virtuous.
Perfectly matching the heroine of *My Junior Sister Can’t Be This Cute*.
Tailoring his approach seemed feasible. And beating Cen Wuwang in love would at least salvage some pride.
After stalking her for days, Feng Yuemian finally found his chance to make a move.
The East Sea had its own market—a designated trading area that grew so large Yan Zhi and the Dragon King decided to make it permanent. Guarded by the Turtle General and located kilometers underwater, it was a dazzling, bustling hub.
Eager, Feng Yuemian swapped his skirt for male attire. Born with innate nobility and a strikingly handsome face, he looked every bit the regal prince in the mirror.
His subordinates showered him with praise, elevating him to celestial heights. Feng Yuemian, pleased, set his plan in motion.
Xue Ying would surely shop. When she made a purchase, a subordinate would pretend to argue with her, and Feng Yuemian would step in to apologize. Their prior encounter at Yunmeng Lake would make befriending her easy.
Dinner and drinks would naturally follow.
Feng Yuemian’s script was flawless—except Xue Ying browsed half the street without buying anything. *Is she even a woman?*
Finally, she stopped. Impatient, Feng Yuemian cut in before his subordinate could act. “I’ll take it.”
Dressed in crimson robes with a golden headband, he exuded wealth.
At the stall, he lifted his chin arrogantly. “How much? I’ll pay double.”
The stall owner, intimidated, stammered, “Sir, this item…”
“Triple.”
The owner grew uneasy. “It’s not about the money.”
“Quadruple.”
“Sir—”
Feng Yuemian cursed inwardly. *Greedy bastard, pretending to be honest.* “Octuple.”
The owner snapped. “Will you let me finish? This is a recycling stall, not a wholesale market. If you want to throw money around, try the Treasure Pavilion behind us.”
His eyes screamed *Are you insane?* He took the spirit herb from Xue Ying and handed her ten spirit stones. “Here.”
Feng Yuemian’s face twisted with humiliation. *Ungrateful wretch.* Forcing a smile, he turned to Xue Ying. “Have we met before?”
Xue Ying, counting her coins, replied politely, “The snack stall at Yunmeng Lake. Your dan dan noodles left an impression.”
*Of course—the ones that landed me in the hospital.*
Hearing Feng Yuemian sold noodles, the stall owner’s expression soured. *Just another street vendor, acting rich.*
Feng Yuemian seethed. *I’m the top street vendor—who are you?* Outwardly calm, he suggested, “Since fate brought us together, let’s chat over a meal.”
Xue Ying eyed him warily. “You’re paying.”
Feng Yuemian: “…Of course.”
The free meal left Xue Ying in high spirits, even viewing Feng Yuemian more favorably.
“Why are you in the East Sea? The dragons rule here. If they discover you, it’ll be trouble.”
Grateful for the meal, Xue Ying advised him to leave before Cen Wuwang intervened—violently.
Feng Yuemian feigned emotion. “Your concern touches me. Truthfully, I’m here on important business.”
Xue Ying waited.
“…Like discussing life with the dragons.”
Xue Ying pretended awe. “Such boldness. I admire you.”
Feng Yuemian awkwardly looked away. “It’s nothing.” Changing topics, he asked, “Why are *you* here?”
Xue Ying clenched her fists, thinking of the stolen White Dew. “For peace across the Four Realms.”
*Yeah, right.* Feng Yuemian faked admiration. “Such noble ideals. I’m impressed.”
After exchanging empty pleasantries, they fell into awkward silence.
Xue Ying barely knew Feng Yuemian. Their bond paled compared to her fights with Ao Fugui.
*Why is he here? Qiuqiu’s long gone.*
To avoid silence, Feng Yuemian suggested, “Since we’re here, let’s explore.”
Though puzzled, Xue Ying agreed. Feng Yuemian wasn’t a sword cultivator—a superficial friendship wouldn’t hurt.
Feng Yuemian pulled out all stops to impress her.
“If you see anything you like, just say the word.”
From clothes to pockets, he flaunted his wealth.
Xue Ying: “No need. I have money.”
Plan B: Feng Yuemian bought snacks, offering one to Xue Ying with a tender gaze. “Try it.”
Xue Ying took it from his hand, feeding herself. “Tasty.”
Feng Yuemian clenched his empty fist. *Deep breaths.* Mimicking romance protagonists, he cooed, “Really? I’d like a taste too.”
Xue Ying generously handed him coins. “Buy your own.”
*Are you fucking kidding me?* Vein throbbing, he growled, “I! Want! Yours!”
Xue Ying recoiled. “Gross. Eating someone else’s saliva.”
*Are you even a woman?!*
Exhausted, Feng Yuemian mechanically proceeded to the fireworks finale. “Tonight’s display—I’d like to watch it with you.”
Xue Ying had been invited to fireworks before—by someone she promptly beat up. Now, it clicked. “Are you hitting on me?”
Feng Yuemian sighed. “Call it what you want.”
*Time to write a trashy romance.*
Xue Ying paused. Absolute power rendered all schemes useless. If she couldn’t outsmart Cen Wuwang, she’d surpass him in strength and reclaim White Dew fairly.
“My sword path is incomplete; my dao heart lacks understanding of love. If we were together, could you give me a love so profound it would etch into my soul?”
Her reasoning wasn’t flawed—many cultivators struggled with emotions, which could hinder progress. Yet, Feng Yuemian felt something was off.
“I could, but…”
Xue Ying brightened. “Great! Do you have a habit of losing interest quickly?”
Feng Yuemian scowled. “Phoenixes mate for life. Unlike humans, who love recklessly.”
Xue Ying sighed in disappointment. “If you’re not a scoundrel, how can you give me unforgettable heartbreak?”
Feng Yuemian: “…”
*You’re insane.*
That day, as Yan Zhi fussed over Cen Wuwang, Feng Yuemian returned with Xue Ying. Spotting them, Yan Zhi inhaled sharply, instinctively glancing at Cen Wuwang.
*Wait—why do I care about his reaction?*
After Xue Ying bid Feng Yuemian farewell, Yan Zhi approached her delicately. “So, you and him…”
“Are you dating?”
Cen Wuwang spoke up. When Xue Ying confirmed, he pondered and said,
“Count me in.”
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage